and sent her home.
Renee studied the bandages on the woman’s slender wrists and fought the sudden urge to throw up.
“Kathryn,” she said softly, and drew her older sister gently into her arms.
Renee felt as if she were hugging an apparition. There was no weight to the person she held in her arms. There was no substance. Kathryn pulled back slowly and looked deeply into her sister’s frightened face. Renee said nothing, watching as tears formed in her sister’s still startling green eyes, realizing that she was crying as well.
“You’re so thin,” Renee said, her voice breaking as her sister tried to smile, a tear curling around her upper lip and disappearing into her mouth. “How was your flight?” she asked, not wanting to probe too deep too fast.
“We ran into some turbulence,” Kathryn whispered, obviously an effort to speak. “I’m still a little shaky.”
“You’ll lie down as soon as we get home.” Renee took Kathryn by the elbow, hoping to maneuver her toward the baggage claim area, but Kathryn’s body refused to move. Her eyes stared blankly at some vague point in the distance.
Renee studied her sister’s delicate face, not sure how to proceed. Kathryn’s green eyes were still her best, most prominent feature, although they were temporarily rimmed with red, and her high cheekbones were still model-perfect, all the more pronounced because of her obvious weight loss. But even without any makeup, even in her distracted state, Kathryn was undeniably beautiful. Arnie’s death had been a terrible shock. Again, Renee’s eyes traveled the length of her sister’s frail arms to her gauze-covered wrists. Why? she wanted to ask, but said only, “Kathryn, we have to get your luggage.” Then transferring her own queasiness to her sister: “Are you all right? Are you going to be sick?”
Kathryn’s eyes focused on Renee with an intensity that caused Renee to pull back, bring her arm to her side. “You didn’t tell Mom and Dad, did you?”
Renee shook her head. “No. I thought you could call them later …”
“No!”
“After you’re settled.”
“No!”
“Just to let them know you’re here.”
“I don’t want them to know I’m here. I don’t want them to know what happened.”
“Kathryn, they’re our parents.”
“Please.” Kathryn’s voice was verging on hysteria. Renee noticed several people in the vicinity turn in their direction.
“Okay. Okay,” Renee agreed. “Whatever you want.”
“I don’t want them to know. You know how upset Mother will be. You know how it will disappoint Daddy.”
Renee nodded, guiding her sister to the baggage area, thinking that their mother would be upset only so far asKathryn’s attempted suicide might upset their father, and that their father’s disappointment would be summed up in a silent stare, as if he’d known all along it would come to this, as if her depression was a personal affront, as if … as if … That silent stare had spoken volumes throughout their childhood. It projected disappointment of almost biblical proportions. Renee understood Kathryn’s reluctance to confront it even as she understood that Kathryn would have to confront it sooner or later.
“What color is your suitcase?” Renee asked, watching the luggage as it paraded past her on the turnstile.
Kathryn looked perplexed, then blank. “I can’t remember,” she said finally. “I didn’t pack. Marsha packed everything. She’s the one who phoned you, the one who took me to the airport. I don’t remember what color my suitcase is,” Kathryn said again, bringing her bandaged wrists in front of her eyes to hide the tears.
“It’s all right. We’ll find it.”
Kathryn wiped at her eyes. “The doctor wasn’t very impressed with my wounds,” she said, almost casually. “He said he didn’t think I really wanted to die.”
“Thank God for that.” Renee took her eyes off her sister only long enough to scan the bags that were tumbling onto
Renee studied the bandages on the woman’s slender wrists and fought the sudden urge to throw up.
“Kathryn,” she said softly, and drew her older sister gently into her arms.
Renee felt as if she were hugging an apparition. There was no weight to the person she held in her arms. There was no substance. Kathryn pulled back slowly and looked deeply into her sister’s frightened face. Renee said nothing, watching as tears formed in her sister’s still startling green eyes, realizing that she was crying as well.
“You’re so thin,” Renee said, her voice breaking as her sister tried to smile, a tear curling around her upper lip and disappearing into her mouth. “How was your flight?” she asked, not wanting to probe too deep too fast.
“We ran into some turbulence,” Kathryn whispered, obviously an effort to speak. “I’m still a little shaky.”
“You’ll lie down as soon as we get home.” Renee took Kathryn by the elbow, hoping to maneuver her toward the baggage claim area, but Kathryn’s body refused to move. Her eyes stared blankly at some vague point in the distance.
Renee studied her sister’s delicate face, not sure how to proceed. Kathryn’s green eyes were still her best, most prominent feature, although they were temporarily rimmed with red, and her high cheekbones were still model-perfect, all the more pronounced because of her obvious weight loss. But even without any makeup, even in her distracted state, Kathryn was undeniably beautiful. Arnie’s death had been a terrible shock. Again, Renee’s eyes traveled the length of her sister’s frail arms to her gauze-covered wrists. Why? she wanted to ask, but said only, “Kathryn, we have to get your luggage.” Then transferring her own queasiness to her sister: “Are you all right? Are you going to be sick?”
Kathryn’s eyes focused on Renee with an intensity that caused Renee to pull back, bring her arm to her side. “You didn’t tell Mom and Dad, did you?”
Renee shook her head. “No. I thought you could call them later …”
“No!”
“After you’re settled.”
“No!”
“Just to let them know you’re here.”
“I don’t want them to know I’m here. I don’t want them to know what happened.”
“Kathryn, they’re our parents.”
“Please.” Kathryn’s voice was verging on hysteria. Renee noticed several people in the vicinity turn in their direction.
“Okay. Okay,” Renee agreed. “Whatever you want.”
“I don’t want them to know. You know how upset Mother will be. You know how it will disappoint Daddy.”
Renee nodded, guiding her sister to the baggage area, thinking that their mother would be upset only so far asKathryn’s attempted suicide might upset their father, and that their father’s disappointment would be summed up in a silent stare, as if he’d known all along it would come to this, as if her depression was a personal affront, as if … as if … That silent stare had spoken volumes throughout their childhood. It projected disappointment of almost biblical proportions. Renee understood Kathryn’s reluctance to confront it even as she understood that Kathryn would have to confront it sooner or later.
“What color is your suitcase?” Renee asked, watching the luggage as it paraded past her on the turnstile.
Kathryn looked perplexed, then blank. “I can’t remember,” she said finally. “I didn’t pack. Marsha packed everything. She’s the one who phoned you, the one who took me to the airport. I don’t remember what color my suitcase is,” Kathryn said again, bringing her bandaged wrists in front of her eyes to hide the tears.
“It’s all right. We’ll find it.”
Kathryn wiped at her eyes. “The doctor wasn’t very impressed with my wounds,” she said, almost casually. “He said he didn’t think I really wanted to die.”
“Thank God for that.” Renee took her eyes off her sister only long enough to scan the bags that were tumbling onto
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