person, because people differ in how they approach certain activities. For example, many people enjoy solitaire, yet some play mindlessly just to pass the time while others strive to break a record time or a record score. For the former sort of player, solitaire is likely calming and a good Buffer Zone activity, but for the latter it may generate high levels of alertness.
Reading a book
Listening to music or a podcast
Watching television
Taking a bath/shower/sauna
Doing yoga or tai chi
Looking at a magazine or a book with art/photographs
Playing a musical instrument
Drawing or painting
Watching sports
Crafting
Playing billiards or other games
Knitting
Stargazing
Meditating
“I Have Too Many Responsibilities to Create a Buffer Zone.”
If you cannot imagine establishing a Buffer Zone because you are busy meeting the needs of everyone around you right up until the moment you get into bed, it may be time to assess whether you yourself should become a higher priority in your life. You may be Super-Mom or Super-Dad, Super-Friend, Super-Wife or Super-Husband, Super-Employee, or Super-Boss, but if you play this role to the exclusion of your own needs, you may become your own archenemy.
You may have convinced yourself that you do not require leisure or rest, but all human beings have needs, and these needs cannot come second to everyone else’s needs without a cost. At a minimum, the cost is poor sleep, but you can also expect other negative health consequences. If you do not take care of yourself, you will have less to give to others. Consider some of the following strategies, designed to help you to start to prioritize your own health and well-being:
Think of the needs of the people who currently depend upon you. Now think of your own needs. Is your list of needs shorter? If so, why? How are your needs different from theirs? Why are you an exception? What is missing from your list of needs? Add to your list of needs and make time to de-stress and unwind every single night.
Know that you will be more effective at providing help to people who depend on you if you make it a priority to take care of yourself.
Remind yourself that everyone needs a break daily.
Say no to at least one request this week.
Set limits with those who demand too much of you.
Let people know that you are making a change in your life and that, except for emergencies, you are unavailable each night starting at ___________ o’clock.
If you are concerned that you will have trouble implementing a Buffer Zone because you find it difficult to disengage from work, it may be time to assess whether your relationship with work is potentially harmful. An imbalance between your work life and your personal life may be behind your sleep problems. Are you obsessed with work to the exclusion of other things in your life? Some people work as though they were addicted to working. Have you convinced yourself that you have to work harder than everyone else? At your place of work, are you always the first to arrive and the last to leave? Has anyone ever accused you of being a workaholic or a perfectionist? Do you feel as if you are addicted to work? Work and your professional identity may be overly tied to your self-esteem so that you over-allocate time to work pursuits. Do you feel badly about yourself when you are not doing work? Do you view non-work activities as a waste of time? Do you believe that any idle time should be filled with some useful activity toward a goal? Have you come to devalue activities done for the sake of leisure or rest? If so, here are some things for you to try:
Ask yourself, Why am I the exception to the rule that human beings need rest and relaxation? In other words, challenge the idea that you do not require rest or pleasure in your life—all human beings do.
Imagine what would happen at work if you were incapacitated in some way. Would the business cease to exist, or would it find some way to make up for your absence? Challenge your
Reading a book
Listening to music or a podcast
Watching television
Taking a bath/shower/sauna
Doing yoga or tai chi
Looking at a magazine or a book with art/photographs
Playing a musical instrument
Drawing or painting
Watching sports
Crafting
Playing billiards or other games
Knitting
Stargazing
Meditating
“I Have Too Many Responsibilities to Create a Buffer Zone.”
If you cannot imagine establishing a Buffer Zone because you are busy meeting the needs of everyone around you right up until the moment you get into bed, it may be time to assess whether you yourself should become a higher priority in your life. You may be Super-Mom or Super-Dad, Super-Friend, Super-Wife or Super-Husband, Super-Employee, or Super-Boss, but if you play this role to the exclusion of your own needs, you may become your own archenemy.
You may have convinced yourself that you do not require leisure or rest, but all human beings have needs, and these needs cannot come second to everyone else’s needs without a cost. At a minimum, the cost is poor sleep, but you can also expect other negative health consequences. If you do not take care of yourself, you will have less to give to others. Consider some of the following strategies, designed to help you to start to prioritize your own health and well-being:
Think of the needs of the people who currently depend upon you. Now think of your own needs. Is your list of needs shorter? If so, why? How are your needs different from theirs? Why are you an exception? What is missing from your list of needs? Add to your list of needs and make time to de-stress and unwind every single night.
Know that you will be more effective at providing help to people who depend on you if you make it a priority to take care of yourself.
Remind yourself that everyone needs a break daily.
Say no to at least one request this week.
Set limits with those who demand too much of you.
Let people know that you are making a change in your life and that, except for emergencies, you are unavailable each night starting at ___________ o’clock.
If you are concerned that you will have trouble implementing a Buffer Zone because you find it difficult to disengage from work, it may be time to assess whether your relationship with work is potentially harmful. An imbalance between your work life and your personal life may be behind your sleep problems. Are you obsessed with work to the exclusion of other things in your life? Some people work as though they were addicted to working. Have you convinced yourself that you have to work harder than everyone else? At your place of work, are you always the first to arrive and the last to leave? Has anyone ever accused you of being a workaholic or a perfectionist? Do you feel as if you are addicted to work? Work and your professional identity may be overly tied to your self-esteem so that you over-allocate time to work pursuits. Do you feel badly about yourself when you are not doing work? Do you view non-work activities as a waste of time? Do you believe that any idle time should be filled with some useful activity toward a goal? Have you come to devalue activities done for the sake of leisure or rest? If so, here are some things for you to try:
Ask yourself, Why am I the exception to the rule that human beings need rest and relaxation? In other words, challenge the idea that you do not require rest or pleasure in your life—all human beings do.
Imagine what would happen at work if you were incapacitated in some way. Would the business cease to exist, or would it find some way to make up for your absence? Challenge your
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