Goya's Glass by Monika Zgustová, Matthew Tree Page B

inoubliable.
    José, votre époux qui vous adore
    un peu plus chaque jour
    We were sitting in the blue salon, lit by a single candelabra. The round table was covered in dishes full of exquisite food. Don José personally served the champagne. That evening I drank little, I was wary. Halfway through the dinner, what I had been afraid of happened.
    “Adorable, let us make a toast now to my new projects, which from this evening on, I would like to share with you.”
    Why doesn’t he speak clearly, why so much formality?
    “To our journey, ma chérie !” And then he looked me straight in the eyes and said, slowly: “Venice and Vienna—I would like to present you à mon cher ami Joseph Haydn, to show you off a little, and to get to know his most recent works and play them for you, mon âme .
    I concentrated on the oysters to keep my eyes lowered and so hide my perplexity. How could I go away on a journey just now, when any day I expected my strategy with Godoy to prove its worth? What would Francisco think? He would only come to one conclusion: that I had taken Godoy as my official lover and left him in the lurch. He would forget me; he would find a lover or get back together with his wife. And when I got back, no matter how much effort I made, reheated love would be more difficult to digest than a dish of stewed tripe left over from the day before. No, there was no way that I could leave now!
    “Don José, my dear! Your invitation honors me. But I have a better idea. Let us put off our excursion to Vienna some six months. Let us wait for the snow to melt in barbarous central Europe and let the cold diminish. Let us organize, for now, a journey to our holdings in Andalusia. Let’s go to the south, to springtime! Your delicate health would appreciate it.”
    To Seville, Cadiz, or to Sanlúcar de Barrameda, where I could invite Francisco, perhaps with the excuse of a new portrait. Or I could find him a commission myself!
    “No, Teresa, cariño mio . My decision has been made. It will be Vienna and that is it. Let us talk of it no longer.”
    He wanted to take me away from my world, why doubt it? Perhaps he was jealous of Godoy? That would surprise me. Hissensitivity regarding human relationships would surely tell him that a puppet such as Godoy, crude and superficial, could only really please a person as ordinary as the queen. Perhaps he had guessed something about Francisco? No, because nothing had happened. Or had he noticed the depth of my affections for that painter who was already mature, and had realized that it had nothing to do with my usual coquettishness?
    “I would love to satisfy your desires, mon cher époux, even though, given the state of your health, a journey of this nature signifie una grave impudence . However, it is not possible. Soon it will be carnival time and for Mardi Gras I am holding a masquerade ball in the Moncloa. The invitations have already gone to press, apart from the fact that I have already invited many people personally. For this occasion, the dressmakers have prepared a costume for me of a kind that has never been seen before in Spain. It is almost finished. Je suis désolée, mon cher, mais il m’est absolument impossible de quitter l’Espagne maintenant . And now, forgive me, but I must go, my head feels heavy. Have them prepare an infusion, una tisane de verveine . À propos, I advise you, dear José, to pay attention to what I say. Go to Seville where spring has just begun, as you haven’t been feeling very well lately. I will come and see you there often, parole d’honneur . We will repeat ces petits soupers intimes . It will be wonderful.”
    Once in my room, I undressed without the assistance of the chambermaid. I drank the infusion in front of the mirror and thought that I would not go to Vienna, not even at the risk of a serious disagreement with my husband and his mother.

    Consuelo! Have them prepare me una tisane de verveine . Serve it in the sixteenth-century Japanese