what would be the last time.
I watched my mother through the open curtains as Dornan reversed the car out of our driveway. She looked completely engrossed as she drew up cloudy liquid into a syringe.
She didn’t even look up from fixing her hit as her only daughter was driven to her death.
I sit in stunned silence, shoveling Cheerios into my mouth, thankful that as the grains melt on my tongue, they are washing away the taste of Dornan’s parting kiss.
I am faltering.
I don’t know if I can do this.
Not now that I have seen my own mother stare through me as if I were a complete stranger.
She thinks I’m dead . I am experiencing a type of mourning for her, one that I never expected to feel. She is a traitor, after all. I think she knew what Dornan was planning to do to my father, but she didn’t care. She didn’t leave, or warn my father or me. No, instead she ran to Dornan, begging for money for her meth habit, always begging for money , and even when I supposedly died at his hands, she still didn’t leave this godforsaken place.
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Jase says quietly, swinging back on his chair so that only the rear two legs are touching the ground.
I drop my spoon into my milky bowl and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand.
“Am I going to get a running commentary the entire time your father is gone?” I ask, pushing my bowl away. “Because I’d rather not.”
He seems surprised at my sudden turn in mood, and, to be honest, so am I. I thought screwing Dornan and having him stare at me like a sick puppy was going to be the most difficult part of this whole thing.
Clearly, I was wrong.
Jase widens his eyes and smiles cheekily. “Hello. Is this the real Samantha? Because I like her more than the fairy floss bullshit you spin in front of Dornan.”
I smile back, but my smile is sour. “Look,” I breathe, leaning over the table, “I like your father, don’t get me wrong. He’s given me a place to stay and money to sort myself out. But–”
“What?” Jase teases, swinging dangerously far back on the chair before slamming the front two legs back onto the ground so that his face is closer to mine. “You don’t like being cooped up inside while Pop goes off with his merry band?”
I drop the smile. “Something like that.”
Jase sniffs and nods, scanning the room. “I get it. This isn’t what you signed up for.”
“Exactly,” I say. “I’m grateful, don’t get me wrong. I’m just a little … overwhelmed right now.”
Jase narrows his eyes, seemingly in deep thought. “Be careful around here,” he says. “Things – people – have a way of getting hurt if they don’t do what they’re told.”
Please Pop, please don’t, they’re hurting her, please stop, STOP STOP STOP.
I just nod, chewing on my lip. “Thanks for the tip.”
“So, you hate storms?” Jase says, cocking his head to the side.
He is still trying to figure me out, I think. He still suspects I’m more than just a fuck buddy of his father’s.
“I hate humidity,” I shrug. “That’s all.”
“Huh.” He is silent for a moment, then stands abruptly. “You wanna come up to the roof for a while?”
Isn’t that where the fucking storm is?
“I mean, unless you’re scared.” It’s an open challenge that he extends to me with an outstretched palm and a cocky grin. Asshole.
I smile, putting my hand in his and standing up. “Only if you straighten my hair afterwards,” I say playfully.
“Ahhh… deal? I guess? How the hell do you straighten your hair anyway?”
“With a flatiron,” I smile. “Game?”
“I guess,” he says, not looking too convinced. As he leads me back to the hallway, he reaches his free arm around the doorway and snipes a bottle of Jack from the kitchen.
“For the light show,” he winks, waving the bottle.
I just smile a lie as my stomach flips and my heart sinks all in one.
ELEVEN
The clubhouse has few windows and a lot of soundproofing, a
I watched my mother through the open curtains as Dornan reversed the car out of our driveway. She looked completely engrossed as she drew up cloudy liquid into a syringe.
She didn’t even look up from fixing her hit as her only daughter was driven to her death.
I sit in stunned silence, shoveling Cheerios into my mouth, thankful that as the grains melt on my tongue, they are washing away the taste of Dornan’s parting kiss.
I am faltering.
I don’t know if I can do this.
Not now that I have seen my own mother stare through me as if I were a complete stranger.
She thinks I’m dead . I am experiencing a type of mourning for her, one that I never expected to feel. She is a traitor, after all. I think she knew what Dornan was planning to do to my father, but she didn’t care. She didn’t leave, or warn my father or me. No, instead she ran to Dornan, begging for money for her meth habit, always begging for money , and even when I supposedly died at his hands, she still didn’t leave this godforsaken place.
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Jase says quietly, swinging back on his chair so that only the rear two legs are touching the ground.
I drop my spoon into my milky bowl and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand.
“Am I going to get a running commentary the entire time your father is gone?” I ask, pushing my bowl away. “Because I’d rather not.”
He seems surprised at my sudden turn in mood, and, to be honest, so am I. I thought screwing Dornan and having him stare at me like a sick puppy was going to be the most difficult part of this whole thing.
Clearly, I was wrong.
Jase widens his eyes and smiles cheekily. “Hello. Is this the real Samantha? Because I like her more than the fairy floss bullshit you spin in front of Dornan.”
I smile back, but my smile is sour. “Look,” I breathe, leaning over the table, “I like your father, don’t get me wrong. He’s given me a place to stay and money to sort myself out. But–”
“What?” Jase teases, swinging dangerously far back on the chair before slamming the front two legs back onto the ground so that his face is closer to mine. “You don’t like being cooped up inside while Pop goes off with his merry band?”
I drop the smile. “Something like that.”
Jase sniffs and nods, scanning the room. “I get it. This isn’t what you signed up for.”
“Exactly,” I say. “I’m grateful, don’t get me wrong. I’m just a little … overwhelmed right now.”
Jase narrows his eyes, seemingly in deep thought. “Be careful around here,” he says. “Things – people – have a way of getting hurt if they don’t do what they’re told.”
Please Pop, please don’t, they’re hurting her, please stop, STOP STOP STOP.
I just nod, chewing on my lip. “Thanks for the tip.”
“So, you hate storms?” Jase says, cocking his head to the side.
He is still trying to figure me out, I think. He still suspects I’m more than just a fuck buddy of his father’s.
“I hate humidity,” I shrug. “That’s all.”
“Huh.” He is silent for a moment, then stands abruptly. “You wanna come up to the roof for a while?”
Isn’t that where the fucking storm is?
“I mean, unless you’re scared.” It’s an open challenge that he extends to me with an outstretched palm and a cocky grin. Asshole.
I smile, putting my hand in his and standing up. “Only if you straighten my hair afterwards,” I say playfully.
“Ahhh… deal? I guess? How the hell do you straighten your hair anyway?”
“With a flatiron,” I smile. “Game?”
“I guess,” he says, not looking too convinced. As he leads me back to the hallway, he reaches his free arm around the doorway and snipes a bottle of Jack from the kitchen.
“For the light show,” he winks, waving the bottle.
I just smile a lie as my stomach flips and my heart sinks all in one.
ELEVEN
The clubhouse has few windows and a lot of soundproofing, a
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