didn’t pick up on that when we were together?
I examined my own face in all the pictures. There was the reason why. I was focused on Noah most of the time and didn’t notice Josh’s flirting. I hugged the tablet against my chest and squinted at the rides to blur the lights so they blended and swirled. How was I going to handle that? Noah was showing more interest in me and I hadn’t noticed Josh was showing even more. I’d never had one boy like me for long and this time I had two. Mom would say it was feast or famine. I rubbed my forehead when my head started to ache.
9
Sunday
Sunday’s shows went well and the day was mostly uneventful. Josh texted, wanting to meet up when the last show was over so the four of us could hang out again. I went to the barn willingly for another visit with the horses for Cessie’s sake. Noah even convinced me to go into the stall with Ezra. I wasn’t going to chicken out. I did have to manage my fear so it didn’t show as I kept my back against the wall, far from the horse. Freaking out all over inside, I thought I would pee my pants if the horse did anything I didn’t expect. Thankfully, I didn’t have to suffer any more humiliation. Ezra didn’t do anything out of the ordinary.
When we went to the Carnival, I encouraged Cessie to ride some of the rides she’d never been on because I had been working on my fear with horses for her. This time I paid attention to how Josh flirted with me compared to Noah. He touched me more often, he cracked more jokes, he was protective. Noah was subtle, he bumped into me when Josh wasn’t looking, rested his hand on mine when no one could see, touched the small of my back when we were sitting together. His foot bumped mine. He didn’t crack jokes the way Josh did, but he enjoyed Josh’s sense of humor thoroughly. Then it hit me, maybe I shouldn’t favor either of them or else I could be the source of messing up their friendship too. I decided then and there that things wouldn’t go any further than the flirting that was already going on. It was innocent enough.
Everything was going fine, no confrontations with the girls at all, as it was getting late. Cessie yawned and whined that she was done. However, I really wanted to ride the Zipper.
“I’m not riding that. I’ll wait here with Cessie,” Josh said, pulling out his phone.
Noah playfully pushed me ahead of him. I pressed my lips together while my chest filled with flutters and hid my smile when both his hands rested on top of my hips as he guided me between the rails to the end of the short line. Noah’s fingers brushed over mine on the rails teasingly. I tried to catch his fingers with my thumb. When I caught one, he leaned closer and his chest pressed against my back briefly.
“I love the Zipper.” Remembering to keep some distance, I turned to lean against the rail and watched the caged seats flip and spin as we waited for our turn. We were next.
“Aww. I hoped you’d be scared so I could hold your hand in the confines of that cage where no one can see.”
I wanted to ask him if he meant so Josh couldn’t see. “Well, I didn’t say that I wasn’t scared, I think being scared is what makes me like this ride so much.”
“It didn’t work that way with horses.”
“Stop reminding me.” I scowled at him.
“Sorry.” Noah squeezed my hand.
Guilt washed over me. He really meant it.
We climbed in our seat and were safely latched in by the carnie. Cessie and Josh were standing on the side where they could see us load. He was engrossed in his phone until he looked up at us, or actually at our cage.
I couldn’t tell for sure, but he looked mad like he had been the night before. I didn’t want to know. Having things go so well all night was too good to be true. I shook my head, gripping the bars in front of my face. Noah’s hand covered mine at first. Once the ride started, he quickly moved it over to his own bar. I screamed and he did too. We laughed and
I examined my own face in all the pictures. There was the reason why. I was focused on Noah most of the time and didn’t notice Josh’s flirting. I hugged the tablet against my chest and squinted at the rides to blur the lights so they blended and swirled. How was I going to handle that? Noah was showing more interest in me and I hadn’t noticed Josh was showing even more. I’d never had one boy like me for long and this time I had two. Mom would say it was feast or famine. I rubbed my forehead when my head started to ache.
9
Sunday
Sunday’s shows went well and the day was mostly uneventful. Josh texted, wanting to meet up when the last show was over so the four of us could hang out again. I went to the barn willingly for another visit with the horses for Cessie’s sake. Noah even convinced me to go into the stall with Ezra. I wasn’t going to chicken out. I did have to manage my fear so it didn’t show as I kept my back against the wall, far from the horse. Freaking out all over inside, I thought I would pee my pants if the horse did anything I didn’t expect. Thankfully, I didn’t have to suffer any more humiliation. Ezra didn’t do anything out of the ordinary.
When we went to the Carnival, I encouraged Cessie to ride some of the rides she’d never been on because I had been working on my fear with horses for her. This time I paid attention to how Josh flirted with me compared to Noah. He touched me more often, he cracked more jokes, he was protective. Noah was subtle, he bumped into me when Josh wasn’t looking, rested his hand on mine when no one could see, touched the small of my back when we were sitting together. His foot bumped mine. He didn’t crack jokes the way Josh did, but he enjoyed Josh’s sense of humor thoroughly. Then it hit me, maybe I shouldn’t favor either of them or else I could be the source of messing up their friendship too. I decided then and there that things wouldn’t go any further than the flirting that was already going on. It was innocent enough.
Everything was going fine, no confrontations with the girls at all, as it was getting late. Cessie yawned and whined that she was done. However, I really wanted to ride the Zipper.
“I’m not riding that. I’ll wait here with Cessie,” Josh said, pulling out his phone.
Noah playfully pushed me ahead of him. I pressed my lips together while my chest filled with flutters and hid my smile when both his hands rested on top of my hips as he guided me between the rails to the end of the short line. Noah’s fingers brushed over mine on the rails teasingly. I tried to catch his fingers with my thumb. When I caught one, he leaned closer and his chest pressed against my back briefly.
“I love the Zipper.” Remembering to keep some distance, I turned to lean against the rail and watched the caged seats flip and spin as we waited for our turn. We were next.
“Aww. I hoped you’d be scared so I could hold your hand in the confines of that cage where no one can see.”
I wanted to ask him if he meant so Josh couldn’t see. “Well, I didn’t say that I wasn’t scared, I think being scared is what makes me like this ride so much.”
“It didn’t work that way with horses.”
“Stop reminding me.” I scowled at him.
“Sorry.” Noah squeezed my hand.
Guilt washed over me. He really meant it.
We climbed in our seat and were safely latched in by the carnie. Cessie and Josh were standing on the side where they could see us load. He was engrossed in his phone until he looked up at us, or actually at our cage.
I couldn’t tell for sure, but he looked mad like he had been the night before. I didn’t want to know. Having things go so well all night was too good to be true. I shook my head, gripping the bars in front of my face. Noah’s hand covered mine at first. Once the ride started, he quickly moved it over to his own bar. I screamed and he did too. We laughed and
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