feel the lump rising in my throat. I stand and walk myself to the door. As I close the door behind me, the angry tears begin to fall.
Chapter 8
By the time I get back to my bedroom, I’ve received multiple text messages from Isaac. I can’t bring myself to look at them. I hate that I have to be so responsible. I hate that a relationship with Isaac can never happen. I collapse onto my bed and finally check my messages.
Isaac tells me he’s sorry for everything but he’ll never be sorry for what happened between us. He then tells me he will make sure to keep our relationship purely professional from now on. I send him a thumbs up emoticon because it’s all I can muster right now.
As the days pass, I find myself buried in coursework. My classes with Isaac are only as awkward as I let them be, and I find I am able to compartmentalize my attraction for him. It’s like I locked it away in the basement and can even talk to him like everyone else. Sometimes, I notice the apparent hurt in his eyes as I chat with him as though there is a wall between us.
As we approach Halloween, CeCe starts to ask a lot of questions. She hates seeing me so depressed. I’m trying to move on but it’s not easy. The bottom line is that I am not completely over whatever we had between us, but I’m doing my best.
“If he wants to go on sabbatical for you then let him! Why can’t you just let yourself be happy?”
I roll my eyes at her, “It’s not that easy. And look who’s talking, it’s not like you’re leaving the door wide open for anyone.”
Mercifully, CeCe drops the subject as she begins to chop vegetables for supper. We’re working on our mid-term papers for Isaac’s class. We have been tasked with comparing themes and writing styles from classic literature to contemporary novels. I’ve chosen to examine the differences in romance novels. CeCe has chosen to write her paper on the constant or changing themes found in horror. We’ve taken a break long enough to whip up a quick supper.
“What’s crazy is the common theme in classic horror stories is fear of things that have now become commonplace. The common theme in contemporary horror stories is a fear of things that are old or forgotten.”
“Interesting. I can see how that could be though. People always fear change, but they can learn to accept it. We always struggle to relate to things we can’t possibly experience firsthand.”
CeCe nods and tosses peppers, onions and mushrooms in with the beef tips she’s finished browning. I put the cheesy garlic knots in the oven and set the timer. While I wait, I re-read what I’ve written and think about the common themes. I’m struggling to find many differences aside from the growing trend of increasing the sexual content and the introduction of various forms of erotica.
By the time our food is ready, we are both ready to give up for the night. We have to present our initial findings in class in the morning. I am not looking forward to getting up in front of Isaac and discussing the themes I am writing about.
We sit down and watch a few episodes of Love & Hip Hop , and by ten o’clock, I’m ready for bed. CeCe is a night owl, so she stays up for another episode while I climb the stairs to my room. I put on my favorite fleece pajamas and crawl into bed. I am mentally exhausted so it doesn’t take long to drift off. My alarm is blaring within what feels like seconds.
I open my eyes and realize I’ve overslept. I bolt out of bed and into the shower. I grab the outfit I laid out last night and dress quickly. I hurry to wake CeCe and rush through applying my make-up as she stumbles around getting ready. We rush out the door at breakneck speed.
We make it into class just in time. CeCe keeps looking between me and Isaac, I can practically see the wheels turning in her head. I feel like she’s scrutinizing every move I make, and feel
Chapter 8
By the time I get back to my bedroom, I’ve received multiple text messages from Isaac. I can’t bring myself to look at them. I hate that I have to be so responsible. I hate that a relationship with Isaac can never happen. I collapse onto my bed and finally check my messages.
Isaac tells me he’s sorry for everything but he’ll never be sorry for what happened between us. He then tells me he will make sure to keep our relationship purely professional from now on. I send him a thumbs up emoticon because it’s all I can muster right now.
As the days pass, I find myself buried in coursework. My classes with Isaac are only as awkward as I let them be, and I find I am able to compartmentalize my attraction for him. It’s like I locked it away in the basement and can even talk to him like everyone else. Sometimes, I notice the apparent hurt in his eyes as I chat with him as though there is a wall between us.
As we approach Halloween, CeCe starts to ask a lot of questions. She hates seeing me so depressed. I’m trying to move on but it’s not easy. The bottom line is that I am not completely over whatever we had between us, but I’m doing my best.
“If he wants to go on sabbatical for you then let him! Why can’t you just let yourself be happy?”
I roll my eyes at her, “It’s not that easy. And look who’s talking, it’s not like you’re leaving the door wide open for anyone.”
Mercifully, CeCe drops the subject as she begins to chop vegetables for supper. We’re working on our mid-term papers for Isaac’s class. We have been tasked with comparing themes and writing styles from classic literature to contemporary novels. I’ve chosen to examine the differences in romance novels. CeCe has chosen to write her paper on the constant or changing themes found in horror. We’ve taken a break long enough to whip up a quick supper.
“What’s crazy is the common theme in classic horror stories is fear of things that have now become commonplace. The common theme in contemporary horror stories is a fear of things that are old or forgotten.”
“Interesting. I can see how that could be though. People always fear change, but they can learn to accept it. We always struggle to relate to things we can’t possibly experience firsthand.”
CeCe nods and tosses peppers, onions and mushrooms in with the beef tips she’s finished browning. I put the cheesy garlic knots in the oven and set the timer. While I wait, I re-read what I’ve written and think about the common themes. I’m struggling to find many differences aside from the growing trend of increasing the sexual content and the introduction of various forms of erotica.
By the time our food is ready, we are both ready to give up for the night. We have to present our initial findings in class in the morning. I am not looking forward to getting up in front of Isaac and discussing the themes I am writing about.
We sit down and watch a few episodes of Love & Hip Hop , and by ten o’clock, I’m ready for bed. CeCe is a night owl, so she stays up for another episode while I climb the stairs to my room. I put on my favorite fleece pajamas and crawl into bed. I am mentally exhausted so it doesn’t take long to drift off. My alarm is blaring within what feels like seconds.
I open my eyes and realize I’ve overslept. I bolt out of bed and into the shower. I grab the outfit I laid out last night and dress quickly. I hurry to wake CeCe and rush through applying my make-up as she stumbles around getting ready. We rush out the door at breakneck speed.
We make it into class just in time. CeCe keeps looking between me and Isaac, I can practically see the wheels turning in her head. I feel like she’s scrutinizing every move I make, and feel
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