Iâm not good for much else.
The highly learned Doctor Budach. A native of Irukan, a master physician, on whom the Duke of Irukan had almost conferred a title but instead changed his mind and imprisoned in a tower. The biggest authority on healing with poisons in the empire. The author of the widely disseminated treatise
About Grasses and Other Cereals, Which Can Mysteriously Cause Sorrow, Joy, and Calmness, as well as the Saliva and Juices of Reptiles, Spiders, and the Naked Boar Y, Which Also Have These and Many Other Properties.
Doubtlessly a remarkable man, a true intellectualâa dedicated humanistwith no interest in money, all his property a bag of books. So who could have wanted you, Doctor Budach, in a twilit, ignorant country, mired in a bloody quagmire of avarice and conspiracy?
Let us assume that youâre alive and in Arkanar. Itâs possible, of course, that youâve been captured by barbarian raiders whoâve come down from the North Red Ridge. In that case, Don Condor is planning to get in touch with our friend Shushtuletidovodus, who specializes in the history of primitive cultures and is currently serving as a shaman-epileptic under a chief with a forty-five-syllable name. But if you really are in Arkanar, then, first of all, you might have been captured by the night bandits of Waga the Wheel. And not even captured, but taken along, because their main prey would have been your companion, the bankrupt noble don. Either way, they wouldnât kill you; Waga the Wheel is too greedy for that.
You might have also fallen into the clutches of some idiot baron, without any malicious intent on his part, just out of boredom and a hypertrophied sense of hospitality. He might have wanted to feast with a noble companion, so he stationed his militia along the road and dragged your companion into the castle. And youâll be sitting in stinky servantsâ quarters until the dons drink themselves into a stupor and part ways. In this case, you are also in no danger.
But there are also the remnants of the recently defeated peasant army of Don Ksi and Perta the Spine holed up somewhere in Rotland, who are surreptitiously being fed by our eagle Don Reba himself, in case of the entirely possible complications with the barons. These men know no mercyâbut itâs better not to even think about that. Thereâs also Don Satarina, an extremely blue-blooded imperialaristocrat, 102 years old and completely senile. He has a blood feud with the Dukes of Irukan, and from time to time gets excited into activity and begins to capture everything crossing the border from Irukan. Heâs very dangerous, because when he issues orders during attacks of cholecystitis, the cemetery guards canât drag the corpses out of his dungeons fast enough.
And finally, the main possibility. Not the main possibility because itâs the most dangerous, but because itâs the likeliest. Don Rebaâs gray patrols. The storm troopers on the main roads. You might have fallen into their hands by accident, in which case we have to rely on the judgment and cool head of your companion. But what if Don Reba is actually interested in
you?
Don Reba can have such surprising interests ⦠His spies may have reported that youâll be passing through Arkanar, and a detachment under the command of a diligent gray officerâa noble bastard from the inferior gentryâmay have been sent to meet you, and now youâre imprisoned in a stone cell underneath the Merry Tower.
Rumata gave the cord another impatient tug. The bedroom door opened with a hideous squeak, and in came a page, skinny and gloomy. His name was Uno, and his fate could have served as the subject of a ballad. He bowed at the threshold, shuffling feet in battered shoes, approached the bed, and put a tray containing letters, coffee, and a wad of chewing barkâfor cleaning and strengthening the teethâon the table.
Rumata looked at him crossly.
The highly learned Doctor Budach. A native of Irukan, a master physician, on whom the Duke of Irukan had almost conferred a title but instead changed his mind and imprisoned in a tower. The biggest authority on healing with poisons in the empire. The author of the widely disseminated treatise
About Grasses and Other Cereals, Which Can Mysteriously Cause Sorrow, Joy, and Calmness, as well as the Saliva and Juices of Reptiles, Spiders, and the Naked Boar Y, Which Also Have These and Many Other Properties.
Doubtlessly a remarkable man, a true intellectualâa dedicated humanistwith no interest in money, all his property a bag of books. So who could have wanted you, Doctor Budach, in a twilit, ignorant country, mired in a bloody quagmire of avarice and conspiracy?
Let us assume that youâre alive and in Arkanar. Itâs possible, of course, that youâve been captured by barbarian raiders whoâve come down from the North Red Ridge. In that case, Don Condor is planning to get in touch with our friend Shushtuletidovodus, who specializes in the history of primitive cultures and is currently serving as a shaman-epileptic under a chief with a forty-five-syllable name. But if you really are in Arkanar, then, first of all, you might have been captured by the night bandits of Waga the Wheel. And not even captured, but taken along, because their main prey would have been your companion, the bankrupt noble don. Either way, they wouldnât kill you; Waga the Wheel is too greedy for that.
You might have also fallen into the clutches of some idiot baron, without any malicious intent on his part, just out of boredom and a hypertrophied sense of hospitality. He might have wanted to feast with a noble companion, so he stationed his militia along the road and dragged your companion into the castle. And youâll be sitting in stinky servantsâ quarters until the dons drink themselves into a stupor and part ways. In this case, you are also in no danger.
But there are also the remnants of the recently defeated peasant army of Don Ksi and Perta the Spine holed up somewhere in Rotland, who are surreptitiously being fed by our eagle Don Reba himself, in case of the entirely possible complications with the barons. These men know no mercyâbut itâs better not to even think about that. Thereâs also Don Satarina, an extremely blue-blooded imperialaristocrat, 102 years old and completely senile. He has a blood feud with the Dukes of Irukan, and from time to time gets excited into activity and begins to capture everything crossing the border from Irukan. Heâs very dangerous, because when he issues orders during attacks of cholecystitis, the cemetery guards canât drag the corpses out of his dungeons fast enough.
And finally, the main possibility. Not the main possibility because itâs the most dangerous, but because itâs the likeliest. Don Rebaâs gray patrols. The storm troopers on the main roads. You might have fallen into their hands by accident, in which case we have to rely on the judgment and cool head of your companion. But what if Don Reba is actually interested in
you?
Don Reba can have such surprising interests ⦠His spies may have reported that youâll be passing through Arkanar, and a detachment under the command of a diligent gray officerâa noble bastard from the inferior gentryâmay have been sent to meet you, and now youâre imprisoned in a stone cell underneath the Merry Tower.
Rumata gave the cord another impatient tug. The bedroom door opened with a hideous squeak, and in came a page, skinny and gloomy. His name was Uno, and his fate could have served as the subject of a ballad. He bowed at the threshold, shuffling feet in battered shoes, approached the bed, and put a tray containing letters, coffee, and a wad of chewing barkâfor cleaning and strengthening the teethâon the table.
Rumata looked at him crossly.
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