magically evaporating. I have a theory that he can make a girl orgasm by uttering some seemingly banal phrase, like ‘What a lovely basket of bananas.’”
I started laughing. “Ian thinks that you are one of the finest thinkers of our time.”
“He’s a perceptive man,” Nancy said. “But why did you bring Ian as your date to my wedding if you were living with Orwin?”
“Ian wasn’t my date. He was my escort. I told you that Oswald was away on his annual vacation repairing cleft palates for children, but you didn’t believe me.” That night was as indelible to me as the scar on my arm where I’d been slashed. Afterward, no matter how hard I tried, I’d been unable to let Oswald taste my blood.
“Milagro, you with a plastic surgeon is unbelievable, since you have Major Issues with your mother, Regina’s, makeovers,” Nancy said. “Will you ask Ogden if he’d rent his ranch to me for one of my parties?”
“Not a chance. Oswald needs time to get over me.”
“That’s why I adore you. You’re as mature as an excellent wheel of Parmigiano-Reggiano,” Nancy said. “How are things going with Sir Sexalot? Is his new house party-worthy?”
“It would be excellent if you were throwing a Scarface party,” I said. “It has a mirror ball and a pool. Ian is …”
“Sexeriffic?”
“Yes, but also too much the continental roué, I think. All mysterious and imperturbable and debauched and pleased with being Ian Ducharme.”
“I’ve never heard you be so critical about anyone in possession of a penis.”
“Oswald raised my standards. Now I have higher expectations of those in possession of a penis.”
“Osgood was nice , but are you really a nice girl, Milicious?” Nancy narrowed her blue eyes.
“I think we should marry someone we admire, someone who brings out our best qualities,” I said. “Do you ever miss Todd as a friend?”
She considered before speaking. “Actually, I do. I spent so long with him and we really grew up together. It’s almost as though the memories of your life are less real because you can’t share them with someone who was there. I miss Todd’s family, too.”
“I’m still friends with most of Oswald’s family, but they’re careful not to mention certain things.”
“ C’est la vie ,” she said. “I wish you’d marry Ian because I bet his mother has a tiara she could give you as a wedding present, and I think a tiara would be wonderfully sparkly against your hair.”
“You are quite inspirational, you know, Nancy.”
“Yes, I know.”
Although Ian must have returned, he hadn’t called. When I thought about him being close by, I felt like a junkie trying to ignore a poster for free heroin on a liquor store window. And, like a junkie, I gave in to my desire.
Since Ian often saw me in my gardening clothes, I decided to wear something special. I changed into a black silk bra and thong, a garter belt and stockings, a lace-trimmed black slip, a clingy wrap-around plum-colored dress, and black heels.
I put my hair up to expose my neck and wore dangling Victorian garnet and gold earrings that Ian had given me. I strokedon dark eye shadow, layers of mascara, and glossy plum-red lipstick. As I got ready, I became aroused as I imagined how Ian would undress me and the many interesting ways I’d let him violate me.
I didn’t call him first in case I came to my senses at the last minute. It was likely that I’d stay the night, so I took Rosemary with me so I wouldn’t have to return to my loft early in the morning.
When I arrived at the California Crapsman after sunset, cars were in the drive. I rang the doorbell and a moment later Mr. K answered the door.
“Good evening, Miss Milagro.”
“Hi, Mr. K.” Rosemary scampered by me into the house, but Mr. K didn’t open the door farther. I could hear music and voices from inside. “Ian’s back, isn’t he?”
“Yes, miss. If you would wait a moment, I’ll announce you.”
“No need for us to
I started laughing. “Ian thinks that you are one of the finest thinkers of our time.”
“He’s a perceptive man,” Nancy said. “But why did you bring Ian as your date to my wedding if you were living with Orwin?”
“Ian wasn’t my date. He was my escort. I told you that Oswald was away on his annual vacation repairing cleft palates for children, but you didn’t believe me.” That night was as indelible to me as the scar on my arm where I’d been slashed. Afterward, no matter how hard I tried, I’d been unable to let Oswald taste my blood.
“Milagro, you with a plastic surgeon is unbelievable, since you have Major Issues with your mother, Regina’s, makeovers,” Nancy said. “Will you ask Ogden if he’d rent his ranch to me for one of my parties?”
“Not a chance. Oswald needs time to get over me.”
“That’s why I adore you. You’re as mature as an excellent wheel of Parmigiano-Reggiano,” Nancy said. “How are things going with Sir Sexalot? Is his new house party-worthy?”
“It would be excellent if you were throwing a Scarface party,” I said. “It has a mirror ball and a pool. Ian is …”
“Sexeriffic?”
“Yes, but also too much the continental roué, I think. All mysterious and imperturbable and debauched and pleased with being Ian Ducharme.”
“I’ve never heard you be so critical about anyone in possession of a penis.”
“Oswald raised my standards. Now I have higher expectations of those in possession of a penis.”
“Osgood was nice , but are you really a nice girl, Milicious?” Nancy narrowed her blue eyes.
“I think we should marry someone we admire, someone who brings out our best qualities,” I said. “Do you ever miss Todd as a friend?”
She considered before speaking. “Actually, I do. I spent so long with him and we really grew up together. It’s almost as though the memories of your life are less real because you can’t share them with someone who was there. I miss Todd’s family, too.”
“I’m still friends with most of Oswald’s family, but they’re careful not to mention certain things.”
“ C’est la vie ,” she said. “I wish you’d marry Ian because I bet his mother has a tiara she could give you as a wedding present, and I think a tiara would be wonderfully sparkly against your hair.”
“You are quite inspirational, you know, Nancy.”
“Yes, I know.”
Although Ian must have returned, he hadn’t called. When I thought about him being close by, I felt like a junkie trying to ignore a poster for free heroin on a liquor store window. And, like a junkie, I gave in to my desire.
Since Ian often saw me in my gardening clothes, I decided to wear something special. I changed into a black silk bra and thong, a garter belt and stockings, a lace-trimmed black slip, a clingy wrap-around plum-colored dress, and black heels.
I put my hair up to expose my neck and wore dangling Victorian garnet and gold earrings that Ian had given me. I strokedon dark eye shadow, layers of mascara, and glossy plum-red lipstick. As I got ready, I became aroused as I imagined how Ian would undress me and the many interesting ways I’d let him violate me.
I didn’t call him first in case I came to my senses at the last minute. It was likely that I’d stay the night, so I took Rosemary with me so I wouldn’t have to return to my loft early in the morning.
When I arrived at the California Crapsman after sunset, cars were in the drive. I rang the doorbell and a moment later Mr. K answered the door.
“Good evening, Miss Milagro.”
“Hi, Mr. K.” Rosemary scampered by me into the house, but Mr. K didn’t open the door farther. I could hear music and voices from inside. “Ian’s back, isn’t he?”
“Yes, miss. If you would wait a moment, I’ll announce you.”
“No need for us to
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