Haven by Laury Falter Page A

shoulder.
    I had the feeling I might not like the answer but having already come this far I gave in and pressed, “You said back at Mei’s house that I would change my opinion of you once I got to know you. Why?”
    He turned to face me, crossing his arms in front of his chest. It made his muscles push forward, which I tried my best to ignore.
    “Why do you think I never asked you out?”
    It was a bold question, peeling back the tense innuendos and subliminal messages we’d been sending to each other over the last year to expose the true, unrestrained interest we had for each other simmering beneath the surface.
    It left me momentarily speechless.
    Stumbling through an answer, I said, “You wanted to ask…?” But I paused, realizing that something else was far more important. “I don’t know why.”
    When he didn’t immediately answer, I wondered if it was because he was taking his time formulating one.
    “Why?” I persisted.
    His stunningly handsome face appeared strained from the complex mixture of emotions that had become visible in his expression. He seemed frustrated and passionate, yet angry and disappointed at the same time. I had an urge to go to him, but having grown up around men like him, self-sufficient and disciplined men, I knew this was the last thing he’d want.
    “I’m different, Kennedy.” Those words seemed to sting as they left his beautiful lips.
    “We’re all different, Harrison. I have steel throwing stars in my pocket, and I know how to use them. Do you know any other eighteen-year-olds who do that? You asked that same question this morning, remember? Not one. Not a single one.” I paused to meet his stare directly, ensuring my last point was heard. “I don’t think you’re any more different than the rest of us.”
    He laughed under his breath. “You don’t now, but you will eventually.”
    In a way that made me think he was trying to prove his point, he opened the refrigerator door wide, so that I could clearly see inside. It was stocked, but not with fruit, vegetables, and Yoo-Hoo drinks. Bags of raw meat were crammed into every shelf and drawer available. That was it, just bags of raw meat. He began shoving as many of them as he could fit into his duffel bag, stuffing it so tightly it couldn’t zip closed. When he straightened up and turned, he discovered that I hadn’t moved.
    “You underestimate me,” I said.
    He seemed surprised that I wasn’t bowled over by his brazen display of how odd he was. “Why are you so determined to like me?” he countered.
    “Why are you so determined to push me away?”
    “Like you do with others?” he retorted, striking at the one thing he knew I couldn’t deny.
    My only response was to press my lips together as the uncomfortable silence stretched between us.
    Obviously, he’d seen me sitting alone in the library during lunch and he knew that I was short on friends. I was also pretty sure he’d heard my story through one of the many strings of gossip that seemed to surround me. He laughed under his breath again, this time with thick sarcasm. “We are similar, Kennedy. We keep to ourselves, preserving that preciously safe space around us, denying others entry. We make it painful for others so they won’t think about invading it. We make ourselves invisible or unreceptive so they won’t consider trying. I’ve watched you do it for a year. But we do this for different reasons. You do it so that others can’t hurt you. I do it so that I can’t hurt others.” He slung the duffel bag over his shoulder effortlessly despite the weight it held.
    “So that’s it?” I said, causing him to halt. He kept his back to me as I asked, “That’s why you never asked me out, why you’re being…reticent now? You think you can hurt me.”
    His shoulders lifted as he drew in a deep breath. “Kennedy,” he exhaled wearily, “it’s the only reason that could keep me from you.”
    He deliberately walked by me, slowly and cautiously, with