Hell's Hotel by Lesley Choyce Page B

grey, deadening fog was settling into Tara’s brain. “Sure,” she heard herself say sarcastically, “I can handle it. I can handle anything.” But it was a gigantic lie.
    Her father was just looking at the TV screen, the images of devastation. “I don’t know what to do, Tara. I love your mother, but she wants very badly to do this. I guess it’s partly my fault. I’m not around that much. I haven’t been paying attention to what she needs.”
    â€œIt’s something I’ve been thinking about for a long while. But it’s been so hard to make this decision,” Tara’s mother said.
    There was that word again coming back to haunt her. Decision . “Are you going to get a divorce?”
    â€œI don’t know,” her mom said. “Right now it’s just a separation.”
    â€œWe’ll still be your parents,” her father said.
    â€œBut what about me?” Tara demanded. “You’ve figured out what you want to do, Mom. But what about me? Where do I fit in?”
    Her mom was looking at the floor now. “Oh, Tara. You know I love you more than anything else in the world,” she said, holding back her tears.
    Her father cleared his throat. “We’ve decided it’s up to you. You can go to Vancouver with your mother if you like or you can stay here with me. Either way, you’ll get to visit back and forth.”
    Tara said nothing. She felt like they hadn’t really considered what she would want at all.
    â€œLook, your mother thought at first we should all just move to Vancouver. There she could get into her photography and I could, well, find a new job. She thought that would be enough for her. But I can’t do that. I can’t just give up my job, my friends, just give up my career. I can’t do that.”
    â€œSo you decided to split up?”
    â€œMaybe it will just be temporary,” her mother said. “I really need to try this and it’s a once-in-a-lifetime chance. Let me have my try at it and then see. Please try to understand. This is so hard for me.”
    Tara could not understand why this was happening, why her mother had to go and do this. “I’m staying here with Dad,” Tara said. “And that’s final.”
    Tara started for her room, but suddenly the whole house seemed alien to her. She didn’t want to be around her parents. She hated them. She turned around, and headed for the door.
    â€œWhere are you going?” her mother asked.
    â€œOut!” was all she said and slammed the door.
    Where was she going? She didn’t know. She just started walking. She desperately needed someone to talk to. But who? Josh was out of her life. Jenn was living with some gorilla who probably wouldn’t even let her in the door. She walked faster.
    All her life, Tara had been the one who had it all together — the good grades, the cool parents, the right answers. People were always coming to her for advice. She’d been lucky. Nothing bad had ever really happened to her. She often felt so strong, as if she didn’t need anyone.
    Tonight was different. She kicked at a bottle lying on the sidewalk. She had always been there when Jenn needed her. How come no one was there for her tonight?
    She decided she had to talk to Emma. It wasn’t that late. She’d go to the nursing home, and Emma would help her sort things out.
    A nurse at the nurse’s station who had seemingly just come on duty told Tara that she could go down the hall and visit with whomever she wanted to. “Just knock on the door first.”
    When she came to Emma’s room, she knocked, but got no answer. She knocked again, but nothing. She turned the door handle and went in. The bed was empty. Was Emma in the sitting room watching TV? She always said that she hated television. Maybe she was still visiting with her son. That was it.
    Just then another one of the nurses walked in.