that promised endurance. Mostly what it was like was more – lots and lots.
Joseph asked, ‘Are you familiar with,
“if I have seen further than other men
it is because I have stood on
the shoulders of giants”
– know it?’
‘Ran it by a mate only the other Tuesday.’
‘Like some of my merchandise, I have modified it, thus:
“it’s because I have sold to
the baseness of greed.”’
I drained the vodka, got down the last tinkle and said, ‘Fascinating and I’m sure you have a whole bunch of other quotes but, hey, let’s get to the guns – OK, how would that be.’
He stood and I don’t think he was well pleased.
‘I thought perhaps you were a fellow traveller, that through the instruments of destruction we could comprehend transcendence.’
‘Shit Joe, I have problems on the Northern Line – transcend that.’
So we weren’t going to be buddies, especially not asshole ones. He left the room and didn’t return for about twenty minutes. I nearly had a nap. Carrying two large flat cases, he opened them on the floor, began to pile out weapons, reciting, ‘You’ve got your Glock, lightweight, plastic, undetectable by airport technology, a Baretta nine millimetre Parabellum, small wars model, a Colt, the basic western gun, looks serious. The Detective Special, beloved of Special Branch, makes them feel like movie stars.
‘This big chappie is a Mark V1 Enfield. Yes, your assumption’s correct, from those good folk who brought us the Lee Enfield and World War One. A variety of Mausers, very efficient. Uzis of course and, I have stocks of CS Gas, so popular lately.’
He had a light perspiration on his forehead and I realised – ‘Jeez, this guy’s hot for them’. He said, ‘No need to rush. I’ll leave you alone and let you get acquainted. Standard items such as 12-gauge and Brownings I keep downstairs. Enjoy!’
I fiddled about with them, did a few movie poses, dropped to combat position and generally clowned around. I gathered he’d be watching so, wot the hell, give ’em a show. When he came back, I was seated quietly and I said, ‘The stage is BUR .’
‘I beg your pardon?’
‘El has left the building? No sweat, forget it.’
‘You’ve made your selection.’
‘Indeed I have. Have you got a pump shotgun, double loader.’
He was dismayed, spread his arms out, said, ‘You don’t wish any of these pieces?’
‘Naw.’
Jeez, was he pleased, bundled up the gear with sighs and tut-tutting. I could give a fuck. Went and got me the pump and two dozen shells. Said in a sarcastic tone, ‘I trust this is sufficient.’
‘Yo Joseph, don’t trust so easily eh. Tell you what though, if I run out, I’ll give you a bell.’
I was handing over the wad of money as I said this. He paused mid-note, said, ‘Oh, I don’t think so. One feels a car boot sale would answer your requirements.’
I wasn’t offended, offered, ‘You ever in the market for a car yerself, give me a shout.’
‘I very much doubt that Sir. I can’t ever picture myself in the market for whatever it is you hustle.’
As he let me out, I tapped his arm, said, ‘If I’m ever throwing a party, a wild one, you’re top of my A-list pal cos fuckit, you’re just a fun fella.’
He shut the door.
Chapter 2
Morocco And
Points South
G ot home and shit, I was tired. Weapons and funerals, they’ll do for you every time. Out of the car, gave the yuppie ‘ping’ and turned to my door.
Cassie literally materialised before me, staggered and I barely caught her before she hit the ground. She was out cold. Carried her over the threshold – yeah, I bet she enjoyed that – and laid her on the settee. Doused a cloth with ice water and mopped her brow. She was wearing late-evening hooker ensemble. Black bomber jacket, white and tight T-shirt, short black skirt, black stockings. Sure, the obvious crossed my mind but I tried to ignore it. She came round with little groans and whimpers, not unlike the sounds
Joseph asked, ‘Are you familiar with,
“if I have seen further than other men
it is because I have stood on
the shoulders of giants”
– know it?’
‘Ran it by a mate only the other Tuesday.’
‘Like some of my merchandise, I have modified it, thus:
“it’s because I have sold to
the baseness of greed.”’
I drained the vodka, got down the last tinkle and said, ‘Fascinating and I’m sure you have a whole bunch of other quotes but, hey, let’s get to the guns – OK, how would that be.’
He stood and I don’t think he was well pleased.
‘I thought perhaps you were a fellow traveller, that through the instruments of destruction we could comprehend transcendence.’
‘Shit Joe, I have problems on the Northern Line – transcend that.’
So we weren’t going to be buddies, especially not asshole ones. He left the room and didn’t return for about twenty minutes. I nearly had a nap. Carrying two large flat cases, he opened them on the floor, began to pile out weapons, reciting, ‘You’ve got your Glock, lightweight, plastic, undetectable by airport technology, a Baretta nine millimetre Parabellum, small wars model, a Colt, the basic western gun, looks serious. The Detective Special, beloved of Special Branch, makes them feel like movie stars.
‘This big chappie is a Mark V1 Enfield. Yes, your assumption’s correct, from those good folk who brought us the Lee Enfield and World War One. A variety of Mausers, very efficient. Uzis of course and, I have stocks of CS Gas, so popular lately.’
He had a light perspiration on his forehead and I realised – ‘Jeez, this guy’s hot for them’. He said, ‘No need to rush. I’ll leave you alone and let you get acquainted. Standard items such as 12-gauge and Brownings I keep downstairs. Enjoy!’
I fiddled about with them, did a few movie poses, dropped to combat position and generally clowned around. I gathered he’d be watching so, wot the hell, give ’em a show. When he came back, I was seated quietly and I said, ‘The stage is BUR .’
‘I beg your pardon?’
‘El has left the building? No sweat, forget it.’
‘You’ve made your selection.’
‘Indeed I have. Have you got a pump shotgun, double loader.’
He was dismayed, spread his arms out, said, ‘You don’t wish any of these pieces?’
‘Naw.’
Jeez, was he pleased, bundled up the gear with sighs and tut-tutting. I could give a fuck. Went and got me the pump and two dozen shells. Said in a sarcastic tone, ‘I trust this is sufficient.’
‘Yo Joseph, don’t trust so easily eh. Tell you what though, if I run out, I’ll give you a bell.’
I was handing over the wad of money as I said this. He paused mid-note, said, ‘Oh, I don’t think so. One feels a car boot sale would answer your requirements.’
I wasn’t offended, offered, ‘You ever in the market for a car yerself, give me a shout.’
‘I very much doubt that Sir. I can’t ever picture myself in the market for whatever it is you hustle.’
As he let me out, I tapped his arm, said, ‘If I’m ever throwing a party, a wild one, you’re top of my A-list pal cos fuckit, you’re just a fun fella.’
He shut the door.
Chapter 2
Morocco And
Points South
G ot home and shit, I was tired. Weapons and funerals, they’ll do for you every time. Out of the car, gave the yuppie ‘ping’ and turned to my door.
Cassie literally materialised before me, staggered and I barely caught her before she hit the ground. She was out cold. Carried her over the threshold – yeah, I bet she enjoyed that – and laid her on the settee. Doused a cloth with ice water and mopped her brow. She was wearing late-evening hooker ensemble. Black bomber jacket, white and tight T-shirt, short black skirt, black stockings. Sure, the obvious crossed my mind but I tried to ignore it. She came round with little groans and whimpers, not unlike the sounds
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