His Bundle of Love / the Color of Courage by Patricia Davids Page B

asked.
    Joy leaped in his heart. “Of course I would.”
    Then, just as quickly, his elation took a dive, tempered by a heavy dose of dread. “Are you sure it’s okay?”
    Smiling, Sandra patted his arm. “I’ll be here to keep an eye on her. Have you heard of kangaroo care?”
    He shook his head.
    “It’s where we let parents hold their babies skin-to-skin. We’ll lay her on your bare chest and cover her with a blanket. Your body heat will keep her warm, and the sound of your heartbeat will soothe her. Want to try it?”
    “Sure.”
    “Good. We’ll be able to do this once a day if she tolerates it, but moving her is rather complicated and that’s the stressful part. We ask that you hold her for at least an hour. Do you have that much time today?”
    “You bet.”
    At the bedside, he saw Beth lying curled on her side with both hands tucked under her chin.
    “Hey, sweet pea. I get to hold you today. Isn’t that great?”
    Beth’s eyes fluttered at the sound of his voice, and she yawned. Chuckling, Sandra said, “I don’t think she’s suitably impressed with you.”
    Sandra indicated a recliner beside the bed. “Okay, Mick, take your shirt off.”
    He pulled his T-shirt off over his head. Feeling a bit self-conscious, he sat in the chair, still as a fire hydrant, while the nurses transferred Beth. The scary part came when they unhooked her from the vent. Alarms sounded until Sandra laid the baby on his chest, and reconnected her to the machine.
    His large hand covered Beth’s entire back and held her still as she squirmed in her new environment. She was light as a feather against him. He could barely take in the rush of emotions that filled him. Sandra laid a warm blanket over the two of them, and Beth proceeded to make herself comfortable. She wiggled against his skin, her tiny fingers grasping handfuls of his chest hair.
    She felt wonderful, amazing. So real and so precious. A tiny, warm body pressed against his heart. It was everything he had ever imagined it would be and more. He wanted to hold on to this marvelous moment forever. Did Beth hear his heartbeat? Did she draw comfort from the sound? Did she remember the sound of her mother’s beating heart?
    An intense sadness settled over him, dulling his happiness.
    He looked up at Sandra, hovering close by. “It should be her mother holding her for the first time.”
    “At least she has you. Some children never know a loving touch their entire lives even when they have two parents.”
    * * *
    Caitlin opened her eyes to see sunshine streaming in through a wide window that framed a blue sky and fluffy white clouds. Her nose itched. She raised her hand to scratch it then stopped, startled. A padded board and a loop of clear tubing were taped to her hand. Swallowing painfully, she discovered a tube in her mouth.
    Bits and pieces of a half-remembered dream danced at the edge of her mind. A deep voice telling her everything would be all right, the wailing of a siren, someone saying, “It’s a girl,” other voices saying, “blind and deaf.”
    She tried but nothing settled into place, and her head began to pound. She moved a hand to her belly, seeking the lump that sometimes stirred and kicked. She found only flatness. Had she lost the baby? Cold fear settled in her chest.
    The sound of a door opening came from behind her. A moment later, a young woman in a nurse’s uniform came around the bed. She stopped short, and her eyes widened in surprise as she met Caitlin’s gaze.
    “Well, hello. It’s nice to see you awake. In fact, it’s quite a shock.” Taking a small light from her pocket, she leaned over the bed rail and shined it in Caitlin’s eyes, checking first one, then the other. Putting the light away she slipped her hand beneath Caitlin’s and said, “Squeeze my hand.”
    Caitlin did, and the woman’s smile widened. Gingerly, Caitlin touched the tube in her mouth.
    The nurse nodded. “You’re on a ventilator, that’s why you can’t