kept my thoughts to myself. Karen tried twice to draw me into the conversation, but I was emotionally exhausted and managed to extricate myself from her attempts after a moment or two.
I cleaned up while everyone else was enjoying after dinner drinks. Karen came into the kitchen, took one look at me, and asked me quietly, "Are you all right."
I turned to her and wrapped myself in her arms, laying my head on her shoulder. She held me.
"Was it okay?" I asked her. "It wasn't fancy."
"Oh honey," she said. "It was all perfect. What is wrong?"
"I'll be okay in a minute," I replied. "Please just hold me."
I drew energy from her then pulled away. "I'm okay," I told her. "Just being a silly girl." I turned back to the counter, wrapping up more of the leftovers. Karen stepped closer to me and wrapped her arms around me. I leaned back, resting my head against her shoulder.
Sue and Loraine wandered into the kitchen and saw Karen and I standing there. They walked up on either side of us. I saw Loraine look around the kitchen, then look at me.
"You two," she said. "Go collapse on the sofa. We'll put everything away."
"No, no," I said. "I'm okay."
"Honey," Sue said, looking into my eyes. "I get the same way at the end of dinner parties. All that preparation and emotional energy." She glared at Karen for a moment. "I make Steve handle everything the moment the food is on the table. Loraine and I will take care of this. You have earned the right to relax for the rest of the night."
I rotated in Karen's arms and put my arms around her neck. "Who else tangos?"
"Wait!" said Loraine. "You've got Karen dancing again?"
I looked over at her and nodded.
"You two go sit. We'll clean up. Then we'll all go downstairs," Sue ordered.
"You heard them, Madeline," Karen said, smiling at me. "Come on." She took my hand and pulled me to the sofa in the living room. She sat down at the end and I curled up into her. We had a moment alone. Karen kissed the top of my head. "Are you just being in character?" she asked quietly.
I looked up at her. "No. I'm sorry." I started to move away but she grabbed me and asked me to stay right where I was. I looked down but snuggled in a little further. "You feel nice, Karen."
She did. I didn't understand my feelings. She was a pain in the ass, but pleasing her made me feel so good. Being held by her felt so good, too. I didn't realize I had such a need to be appreciated. I thought back to my time with Marsha and realized I had thrived under her for the same reasons. She'd been exceedingly demanding and equally effusive with her praise when I had pleased her.
"Karen," I said. "I think I'm a junkie."
"What?" She looked at me. "You're on drugs?"
I smiled. "A praise junkie."
She laughed. "There's nothing wrong with that."
The rest of the dinner party wandered into the room and took seats. Ursula and Irina were each carrying extra wine glasses: mine and Karen's . They handed us our glasses and took seats. Sue and Loraine finished cleaning up, which I greatly appreciated, then joined us.
"All right," Sue said. "What's the story with you two?"
"Nothing special," I replied. "She refused to hire me as her personal assistant, then invited me to lunch."
"She was just so damned hot," Karen said. "I took one look at her and knew I wanted her."
"I thought she was stunning," I said.
"You did?" Karen asked.
"Don't be coy." I smiled at her. "But, well. I didn't think she was my type. She invited me for an expensive lunch and I thought maybe she would have contacts for me. So reluctantly I said 'yes'. I only flirt with her so she'll help me find a job. "
"And because I dance with you," she said, squeezing me a little as she said it.
"And because you're a good kisser," I said, looking up at her.
The banter flowed around the room for several minutes before Loraine said, "So, about that dancing?"
I didn't need to be asked twice. Everyone filed downstairs. "Everyone tangos?"
"Um," said Sue.
"Jessica gave them
I cleaned up while everyone else was enjoying after dinner drinks. Karen came into the kitchen, took one look at me, and asked me quietly, "Are you all right."
I turned to her and wrapped myself in her arms, laying my head on her shoulder. She held me.
"Was it okay?" I asked her. "It wasn't fancy."
"Oh honey," she said. "It was all perfect. What is wrong?"
"I'll be okay in a minute," I replied. "Please just hold me."
I drew energy from her then pulled away. "I'm okay," I told her. "Just being a silly girl." I turned back to the counter, wrapping up more of the leftovers. Karen stepped closer to me and wrapped her arms around me. I leaned back, resting my head against her shoulder.
Sue and Loraine wandered into the kitchen and saw Karen and I standing there. They walked up on either side of us. I saw Loraine look around the kitchen, then look at me.
"You two," she said. "Go collapse on the sofa. We'll put everything away."
"No, no," I said. "I'm okay."
"Honey," Sue said, looking into my eyes. "I get the same way at the end of dinner parties. All that preparation and emotional energy." She glared at Karen for a moment. "I make Steve handle everything the moment the food is on the table. Loraine and I will take care of this. You have earned the right to relax for the rest of the night."
I rotated in Karen's arms and put my arms around her neck. "Who else tangos?"
"Wait!" said Loraine. "You've got Karen dancing again?"
I looked over at her and nodded.
"You two go sit. We'll clean up. Then we'll all go downstairs," Sue ordered.
"You heard them, Madeline," Karen said, smiling at me. "Come on." She took my hand and pulled me to the sofa in the living room. She sat down at the end and I curled up into her. We had a moment alone. Karen kissed the top of my head. "Are you just being in character?" she asked quietly.
I looked up at her. "No. I'm sorry." I started to move away but she grabbed me and asked me to stay right where I was. I looked down but snuggled in a little further. "You feel nice, Karen."
She did. I didn't understand my feelings. She was a pain in the ass, but pleasing her made me feel so good. Being held by her felt so good, too. I didn't realize I had such a need to be appreciated. I thought back to my time with Marsha and realized I had thrived under her for the same reasons. She'd been exceedingly demanding and equally effusive with her praise when I had pleased her.
"Karen," I said. "I think I'm a junkie."
"What?" She looked at me. "You're on drugs?"
I smiled. "A praise junkie."
She laughed. "There's nothing wrong with that."
The rest of the dinner party wandered into the room and took seats. Ursula and Irina were each carrying extra wine glasses: mine and Karen's . They handed us our glasses and took seats. Sue and Loraine finished cleaning up, which I greatly appreciated, then joined us.
"All right," Sue said. "What's the story with you two?"
"Nothing special," I replied. "She refused to hire me as her personal assistant, then invited me to lunch."
"She was just so damned hot," Karen said. "I took one look at her and knew I wanted her."
"I thought she was stunning," I said.
"You did?" Karen asked.
"Don't be coy." I smiled at her. "But, well. I didn't think she was my type. She invited me for an expensive lunch and I thought maybe she would have contacts for me. So reluctantly I said 'yes'. I only flirt with her so she'll help me find a job. "
"And because I dance with you," she said, squeezing me a little as she said it.
"And because you're a good kisser," I said, looking up at her.
The banter flowed around the room for several minutes before Loraine said, "So, about that dancing?"
I didn't need to be asked twice. Everyone filed downstairs. "Everyone tangos?"
"Um," said Sue.
"Jessica gave them
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