Home Song by Lavyrle Spencer Page A

empathy for her friend. “You really don’t want to know, is that what you’re saying?”
    â€œWould you?”
    Would she? The question bore some impact, when considered fully. Ruth and Dean had been married even longer than she and Tom. They had two children in college, a house nearly paid for, retirement in the offing, a marriage that had—to the best of Claire’s knowledge—no overt problems. Their situation was much like Claire and Tom’s. The mere idea that such a stable marriage could be fraying at the seams unsettled Claire. She could imagine how it must terrify Ruth, and how strong was her friend’s inclination to abstain from further investigation. Yet Claire worked in an atmosphere that valued communication and counseling as the means toward problem solving.
    â€œI think I would,” she answered. “I think I’d want to know the truth so we could work at the problems.”
    â€œNo, you wouldn’t.” Ruth’s firm rebuttal startled Claire. “You just think you would, because it isn’t happening to you. But if it ever happens to you, you’ll feel differently. You’ll hope that if there’s anything to it he’ll just come to his sensesand break it off with her so that it’ll never have to be brought out in the open.”
    â€œSo that’s what you intend to do? Pretend you aren’t worried and say nothing?”
    â€œOh, God, Claire, I don’t know.” Ruth let her forehead drop onto her hands, driving her fingertips into her disorderly hair. “He dyed his hair. Do you realize that?” She lifted her head and repeated belligerently, “He dyed his hair, and we all joked about it with him, but what made him do it? I certainly didn’t mind the gray starting, and I told him so. Doesn’t it seem out of character for him to do a thing like that?”
    It did, but Claire decided agreeing would only deplete Ruth further.
    â€œI think this last year has been hard for both of you with Chad leaving for college. No kids left at home, getting on toward middle age—it’s a difficult transition to make.”
    â€œBut other men make it without taking mistresses.”
    â€œNow, Ruth, don’t say that. You don’t know it’s true.”
    â€œLast week one night he didn’t come home for supper.”
    â€œSo what else is new? If I accused Tom of cheating every time he didn’t make it home for supper, our marriage would have been over years ago.”
    â€œThat’s different. His job keeps him at school, and you know it’s a legitimate reason.”
    â€œBut I still have to trust him a lot, don’t I?”
    â€œWell, I don’t feel like I can trust Dean anymore. Too many things don’t add up.”
    â€œHave you talked to anybody else about this? Your mom? Sarah?”
    â€œNo, just you. I don’t want my family to know anything. You know how they love Dean.”
    â€œI have a suggestion.”
    â€œWhat?”
    â€œPlan a weekend away. Take him to somewhere romantic where it’ll be only the two of you and you can concentrate on . . . well, on renewal.”
    â€œWe used to do that a lot, but that’s sort of fallen by the wayside, too.”
    â€œBecause he always planned it as a surprise for you. Maybe he got tired of planning all the surprises and it’s your turn.”
    â€œAre you blaming me for—”
    â€œNo, I’m not. I’m just saying that it takes work. The longer you’re married, the more work it takes, for all of us. The same old face on the opposite pillow in the morning, the same old bodies starting to sag here and there, same routine when you make love—or worse, don’t make it. How have things been in that department?”
    â€œCrappy, especially since the kids moved away.”
    â€œSee?”
    â€œIt’s not me. It’s him.”
    â€œAre you sure?”