House of Holes by Nicholson Baker Page B

little Egyptian statue. He wanted a happy ending, and when I turned him over his penis had already half filled, and it was almost too big to seem like a penis, until I got used to it. It had a vein that forked off in two directions about halfway up. I took a little dipperful of oil, and I poured it on the underside of it and watched it trickle down, and then I put both my hands around his cock, and I began moving my fists around and together and apart, and he began making an odd, snorting sound and then he said, in a strong accent, ‘I want to push it in you.’
    “I said okay, but I showed him how to put his hand around his penis at the base so that he wouldn’t go so far inside me that he would hurt me in my cervix.”
    Marcela said, “Boy, he must have been big.”
    “He was really huge, and glorious,” said Lanasha, “but with a delicate, shy face and long eyelashes. That was what was so interesting about him.”
    “So what did you do, you got up on your knees?” asked Marcela. “Would you mind if I did that?”
    “Go ahead,” said Lanasha. “I’ll massage you that way.”
    So Marcela put her bottom up as high as it could go. She felt Lanasha’s strong hands squeezing the oil into her ass muscles.
    “So I was pretty much just like you are now,” said Lanasha.
    “Wide-open?”
    “Yes. And I felt his hands on my hips. I said, ‘Don’t forget to hold the base of your penis because I can’t take all of you.’ Because I’ve been with men sometimes who are big and it’s quite uncomfortable. One of his hands went away from my hips and he found me, and he began to push himself in. It was a combination of wide and deep, and I’ve never felt so full of anything in my life, it was like a complete Thanksgiving dinner of cock. Then I felt his fist coming up against me, and he said, ‘Would you like to have a thumb ride?’ I said sure, because I was ready to say yes to anything. And then every time he drove his dick in, he let his thumb push, at my bungee hole. Not in, just pressure here, pushing, moving, like this.”
    “Oofy. Feels like a meteor shower. Did you like it?”
    “I had three little tiny orgasms and then suddenly I had this huge shuddering orgasm that was bigger than anything I’d had before. It was like the god of pleasure had punched me in the pussy.”
    Marcela whimpered and pulled the hair out of her face. “Mmm, I’m almost ready to be fucked now,” she said.
    “Do you want me to squeeze the Magic Kentucky Lime fruit on your pussy? It will make you feel extreme cravings for stiff cock.”
    “Is it safe?”
    Lanasha said it was. “Some people call it the Purple Cometwat, but its real name is Magic Kentucky Lime.”
    “Go right ahead,” said Marcela.
    Lanasha took a large yellow-and-green fruit and cut it in half on the side table. It didn’t look anything like a lime to Marcela. Lanasha gently helped Marcela turn over so that she lay face up. She gently massaged Marcela’s stomach and around her hip bones, and then she drew her knees up, and she said, “Hold your labia open.” Marcela held herself open and Lanasha pressed the fruit between her hands.
    Cold drops fell on Marcela’s little thumper bean and trickled down. And then Lanasha took the whole half of the fruit, and she pushed it down over Marcela’s mound so that the pulp of it was mashed into her folds. Marcela felt an incredible almost burning warmth flow back into her body and down her legs.
    “Ooooh,” Marcela groaned. “I don’t just want to be full of a cock, I also want to have a cock. I want a cock of my own. Can you arrange that for me?”
    “Ah, no,” said Lanasha. “That’s called a crotchal transfer. You’ll have to ask Lila about that.”
    “Oh, okay. Well, can you put a trickle of the Kentucky Lime on my bottom, too?”
    “Yes,” said Lanasha, “but if I do, I warn you, you’re going to want to have something in there.”
    “That’s fine.” So Lanasha held Marcela’s knees together and