How I Lost You by Janet Gurtler Page A

offense. I think it’s hot.” He grinned and then tried another tiny sip of tea.
    My stomach swooped. Hot? “My dad owns the place.” I smiled. “He got me and Kya into it.” For a very particular reason, but Levi didn’t need to know about that.
    A swarm of moms buzzed noisily into the coffee shop, each pushing a stroller the size of a shopping cart, talking among one another as they lined up to order drinks. The babies were quieter.
    I turned back to Levi. “Kya and I might play college paintball next year.”
    His expression suggested he had no idea what I was talking about.
    â€œNCPA. National College Paintball Association.”
    â€œSeriously?” he asked.
    â€œYup. There’s a team at Seattle University. The Lady Grinders. All female. They’re amazing. We’re going to a party in a week to meet the players.”
    â€œThat’s cool.” He tapped the side of his head with his finger. “You’re already thinking ahead. Your future.”
    I smiled. “Not really. I have no idea what I want to do with my life. But since I’m expected to go to college, I might as well play paintball while I’m there, right? My parents are pretty good, but they don’t want me to become a contract killer.”
    One of the babies in a stroller chose that moment to wake up with a curdling scream, and we both jumped and then laughed.
    â€œContract killer?” Levi asked, turning back to me.
    â€œPro baller. Contract killer. Not exactly like being a cop, right? Or a lawyer, like my mom used to be. But if I get on with the Grinders, I figure I can give it a whirl and worry about the rest of it later.” As soon as I said that, I wanted to pluck my words from the air. I’d never admitted to anyone that I might want to go pro. Not even Kya.
    A mom with a long brown ponytail expertly whipped her crying baby out of the stroller and jiggled it around. The crying stopped immediately. She didn’t even break her conversation with her friend.
    Levi nodded and rubbed his chin. He looked intrigued by my confession, not disgusted or even bored. “What about you?” I asked to switch the spotlight off my lame ambitions.
    â€œIronically, I’m thinking of taking a gap year after graduating. Traveling. My parents aren’t impressed.”
    â€œWhy ironically?” I glanced at his face, and when our eyes met, my stomach swooped again.
    â€œMy parents moved to China. They wanted me to go with them but I didn’t want to.”
    The chatter of moms got louder. I glanced at them and then back at Levi.
    â€œThey’ll be working eighteen-hour days and would have left me to make my own way in a country where I don’t even speak the language. I want to travel on my own terms.”
    â€œThat’s why you’re in Tadita?”
    He glanced over at the moms. “Mostly, yup. It’s weird, not being with them, but they still control my life as much as possible. They make me Skype every couple of days.” He took a tiny sip of tea, made a face, and caught me watching. We didn’t take our eyes off each other. My face warmed and I cursed my fair skin. Blushing was impossible to hide.
    I imagined my parents moving to China and leaving me alone with relatives, but it didn’t compute. Another baby screech broke up our staring contest. I watched a mom pluck a baby out of the stroller and rock it in her arms. I sent a silent thanks to the baby for the distraction. “Are you and Lucas close?”
    He laughed. “Not so much,” he confirmed. “Lucas and I are different.”
    Thank God, I wanted to say, but resisted.
    â€œHow?” I asked, aware of my nosiness.
    He shrugged but didn’t elaborate.
    â€œWell,” I said. “It’s not so bad in Tadita. I mean besides having to do your senior year at a new school. That probably sucks for you. I’ll show you around if you like.” My cheeks