How to Twist a Dragon's Tale (Hiccup) by Cressida Cowell Page B
Authors: Cressida Cowell
Tags: Juvenile Fiction, YA), Fantasy & magical realism (Children's, Children's Fiction, Science Fiction; Fantasy; & Magic
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'I already threw out the other half when I heard Humungously Hotshot had FAILED in his Impossible Task. I have found another Lover, who has already brought me the Fire-Stone, and I am going to marry HIM.'"
"No!" cried Hiccup. "How terrible of her!"
Humungous nodded sadly. "Yes, I have never forgotten the words which Terrific Al repeated that day. They will remain with me as long as I live. And from that moment on, Hiccup, I vowed that I was through with Love."
"I don't blame you!" said Hiccup.
And then a truly awful thought struck Hiccup, a thought that had Hiccup's heart sinking within his chest like half a ruby heart's stone sinking to the bottom of a seabed.
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Suddenly he had a horrible feeling that he knew a way that this story might be going, a dreadful, snaking, corner coming up, a Twist in the Bardiguard's Tale.
"Um," asked Hiccup nervously, really, really not sure that he wanted to know the answer to this question, "what was the NAME of your ladylove, exactly?"
"My Ex-Ladylove," corrected Humungous. "The name of my Treacherous Ladylove was ...
... Valhallarama."
Valhallarama was Hiccup's mother.
[Image: A boy.]
121
8. THE TWIST IN THE BARDIGUARD'S TALE
"No," whispered Hiccup. "It's not true ..."
"Yes," replied Humungous, sighing, "I'm afraid it is. And the story gets worse."
"How can it get worse?" asked Hiccup through white lips.
"Your father did manage to steal the Stone. He found it INSIDE the Volcano, which was why the Lava-Louts had never discovered it before, despite digging holes all over the island. But what Al told me was that the Fire-Stone released certain chemicals that kept the Volcano dormant. Without these chemicals, over the last fifteen years, the Volcano has become more and more active, until finally, RIGHT NOW, it is ready to blow."
Hiccup sat lost in thought.
While they were talking, the blackness at the window had turned to grey and then to turquoise, and the sun was coming up fast on what would be another roasting day.
"This Terrific Al of yours," asked Hiccup, "what is he doing now?"
"Well, he's gone a bit bananas, since you mention
122
it," admitted Humungous. "But then the poor chap has had a difficult time of it."
Humungous returned to his Tale.
"Shortly after Terrific Al returned as a prison guard, and as the rumbles from the Volcano were growing louder and louder, the Exterminators did start to hatch. The Lava-Louts abandoned the island, and left us prisoners to fend for ourselves, and we too made a bolt for it. All except for Terrific Al. He's got this wild idea in his head that he's going to TRAIN these creatures. He's built these gigantic statues all over the island, and he seems to think that when the Exterminators hatch they will think that he is their Leader, and will do everything he says."
"And what is he going to do with the Exterminators once he's trained them?" asked Hiccup.
"Good Works, he says," replied Humungous, shaking his head in admiration. "He thinks he's going to stop them from killing everything in sight. Oh he's a lovely, lovely guy, that Terrific Al, even if he is as mad as loon. Well, I tried to persuade him to leave with me but he wouldn't. And that was when he asked me to do the favor that I had promised him all those many years ago."
'What was the favor?" asked Hiccup.
"To kill YOU," replied Humungously Hotshot.
123
The Exterminator
Exterminator Dragons are a Rogue Species of Dragon that are exceptionally dangerous. A pack of Exterminators destroys an entire landscape by setting fire to it. They have large, sword-like talons, and two hearts. They k ill for the pleasure of it.
STATISTICS
COLORS. Shin that is slightly transparent so you can see their internal organs.
ARMED WITH: sword-talons, terrible fire ... 15
DEFENSES: See above ... 15
HUNTING ABILITY: Truly terrifying and efficient ... 20
SPEED: Fast ... 10
FEAR AND FIGHT FACTOR: ... 20
[Image: Crocodile head.]
124
"He said you were this PRINCE OF DARKNESS, a Devil
"No!" cried Hiccup. "How terrible of her!"
Humungous nodded sadly. "Yes, I have never forgotten the words which Terrific Al repeated that day. They will remain with me as long as I live. And from that moment on, Hiccup, I vowed that I was through with Love."
"I don't blame you!" said Hiccup.
And then a truly awful thought struck Hiccup, a thought that had Hiccup's heart sinking within his chest like half a ruby heart's stone sinking to the bottom of a seabed.
120
Suddenly he had a horrible feeling that he knew a way that this story might be going, a dreadful, snaking, corner coming up, a Twist in the Bardiguard's Tale.
"Um," asked Hiccup nervously, really, really not sure that he wanted to know the answer to this question, "what was the NAME of your ladylove, exactly?"
"My Ex-Ladylove," corrected Humungous. "The name of my Treacherous Ladylove was ...
... Valhallarama."
Valhallarama was Hiccup's mother.
[Image: A boy.]
121
8. THE TWIST IN THE BARDIGUARD'S TALE
"No," whispered Hiccup. "It's not true ..."
"Yes," replied Humungous, sighing, "I'm afraid it is. And the story gets worse."
"How can it get worse?" asked Hiccup through white lips.
"Your father did manage to steal the Stone. He found it INSIDE the Volcano, which was why the Lava-Louts had never discovered it before, despite digging holes all over the island. But what Al told me was that the Fire-Stone released certain chemicals that kept the Volcano dormant. Without these chemicals, over the last fifteen years, the Volcano has become more and more active, until finally, RIGHT NOW, it is ready to blow."
Hiccup sat lost in thought.
While they were talking, the blackness at the window had turned to grey and then to turquoise, and the sun was coming up fast on what would be another roasting day.
"This Terrific Al of yours," asked Hiccup, "what is he doing now?"
"Well, he's gone a bit bananas, since you mention
122
it," admitted Humungous. "But then the poor chap has had a difficult time of it."
Humungous returned to his Tale.
"Shortly after Terrific Al returned as a prison guard, and as the rumbles from the Volcano were growing louder and louder, the Exterminators did start to hatch. The Lava-Louts abandoned the island, and left us prisoners to fend for ourselves, and we too made a bolt for it. All except for Terrific Al. He's got this wild idea in his head that he's going to TRAIN these creatures. He's built these gigantic statues all over the island, and he seems to think that when the Exterminators hatch they will think that he is their Leader, and will do everything he says."
"And what is he going to do with the Exterminators once he's trained them?" asked Hiccup.
"Good Works, he says," replied Humungous, shaking his head in admiration. "He thinks he's going to stop them from killing everything in sight. Oh he's a lovely, lovely guy, that Terrific Al, even if he is as mad as loon. Well, I tried to persuade him to leave with me but he wouldn't. And that was when he asked me to do the favor that I had promised him all those many years ago."
'What was the favor?" asked Hiccup.
"To kill YOU," replied Humungously Hotshot.
123
The Exterminator
Exterminator Dragons are a Rogue Species of Dragon that are exceptionally dangerous. A pack of Exterminators destroys an entire landscape by setting fire to it. They have large, sword-like talons, and two hearts. They k ill for the pleasure of it.
STATISTICS
COLORS. Shin that is slightly transparent so you can see their internal organs.
ARMED WITH: sword-talons, terrible fire ... 15
DEFENSES: See above ... 15
HUNTING ABILITY: Truly terrifying and efficient ... 20
SPEED: Fast ... 10
FEAR AND FIGHT FACTOR: ... 20
[Image: Crocodile head.]
124
"He said you were this PRINCE OF DARKNESS, a Devil
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