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club wasn't why I was crying. It was because of him. Hunter . Because, despite everything else, I didn't want him to die.
Even though I should . Even though that was the right thing!
My throat felt like it was squeezing shut, closing up so that I couldn't breathe. My head pounded, aching. This wasn't what I was supposed to be feeling.
If I had seen myself in this state just a few days ago, I would've been disgusted. I would've told myself to stop crying like a child and deal with the fucking problem. But now, I couldn't force myself to do anything.
Whose side was I supposed to be on, anyway? My family? They want to force me to marry Palmer. Fuck, they were willing to cut me out of the family entirely if I refused. And Dad, he started to hit Mom again. How long before I was next?
It wasn't as if Slayer was any better. He lied to me. He's killing members of my club. My extended family. The family that I couldn't choose, that I was born into, that's taken care of me for my entire life.
Are you supposed to forgive someone like that?
The tears came harder. Even without a mirror, I could tell that my eyes and my face were puffy. I wiped my eyes with my shirt until I could see again.
And what if the worst thing happened? What if both sides ended up dead?
There was a knock on the door, and then the door knob started to turn.
"Sis?"
Oh. It was just Tyson.
He peeked his head in, and then stepped inside. As if anybody invited him .
"You okay?"
For a second, I considered lying, but what was the point? I was tired of the lies anyway.
"No."
Admitting that opened the floodgates. I started to sob, my whole body shaking. Tyson came over to the bed and wrapped his arms around me. He held me tight until I wasn't bawling anymore.
"I haven't seen you like this since you were little," he said. "You were so afraid of the monster under the bed. Remember? But once you found out it wasn't real, you weren't afraid of anything . I thought fucking Frankenstein could appear in your room and you wouldn't blink."
Tyson pulled the hair out of my face.
"Don't worry," he said, "we'll take care of all of this."
"That's not it!" I yelled.
Shit. Why did I say that?
"What?" Tyson asked. He pulled away from me.
I looked at him, staring him in the eyes. Should I tell him? He was my big brother, shouldn't I be able to trust him? I was too tired of lying to keep it back anyway.
"I knew that the Sons of Rebellion were in town," I said. "But I didn't know, why!"
Tyson's mouth dropped open. He stared at me with wide eyes, as if he couldn't believe what I was saying.
"Then why didn't you tell us? None of this would've happened!" he said.
"Be – because…" I looked away from him. I didn't want to see his face when I said these words. "I've been seeing their Sergeant at Arms, Slayer."
Tyson jumped off of the bed. He grabbed me, and tried to bend my arm, but I punched him and pushed him away.
"Are you crazy ? How could you do something like that? Do you know what Dad would do to you if he found out that you betrayed your fucking family ?" he yelled. "I'm going to take care of this myself ."
He walked towards my door and reached for the knob, but I grabbed his arm and pulled him back. He snatched it away from me.
"You can't!" I shouted.
"Why not? As if I should listen to you anyway!"
"It's too dangerous for you alone."
Slowly, Tyson turned around. His mouth was twisted and he fixed me with a harsh stare.
"You think I can't take on your little loverboy? I'll show you, and everyone who keeps saying that I can't live up to Dad," he said. "So don't you worry, I'll be just fine ."
"But, I love him!" I said.
I pulled on his arm, but weaker this time. There, I'd said it. It was out.
Tyson spit on the ground next to me.
"You're disgusting," he said and pointed his finger in my direction. "I'll deal with you later. But first, I'm going to find your boyfriend and bring him back in a body bag."
SIXTEEN
"THAT'S ENOUGH FOR TONIGHT," I
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