Saul’s. His fingers intertwine with mine as naturally as the sun coming up in the morning, pulling my hand in tightly and locking on to it. His thumb gently caresses the side of my hand, and his knee finally stops bouncing.
I start breathing once more, but I’m so happy now, so excited, and in two seconds, I’m breathless all over again.
W E DON ’ T talk anymore until we’re back sitting in Saul’s car.
“Man, you kind of scared me for a second after I put my hand on your leg,” Saul says, cranking up the engine. “I thought there was a vibe between us yesterday, but after the way you froze up, I started wondering if I’d just made a big fucking mistake and you were gonna take a swing at me.”
“Not a chance,” I reply, still a little stunned at everything. “I was just surprised.”
“In a good way or a bad way?” he asks with a little teasing smile in the corner of his mouth.
“Good way. Definitely.”
He grins, reaches over, and takes my hand as he drives.
We don’t talk after that. There’s no need to, at least for me. He has already told me through his actions everything I want to know for now.
W HEN WE get back to the apartment complex, he doesn’t stop in the fire lane of my building as he did before. He parks in an actual parking space and shuts off the engine. We sit there, listening to the wind blowing softly against the car’s windows.
“You want to come up to my place?” I say.
“Hell, I thought you’d never ask.”
M OM AND I keep the apartment neat, but the furniture is sort of old, the curtains are faded, and there’s only one television, a thirty-two-inch monstrosity from the days when TVs were as bulky as shipping crates. My home has no game system, no DVR, no iPad, no computer. It’s the home of a mother and son living on a waitress’s salary.
I’m not exactly ashamed when I bring Saul into the apartment. Mom has done a good job holding things together financially for us over the years. Our lights have never been cut off for nonpayment. There have been days where we were down to eating boiled spaghetti with no sauce for dinner, but we’ve never taken food stamps or any other kind of public assistance. But I do worry that Saul will think I’m too poor for him to bother with.
On the way upstairs, I hoped Mom wouldn’t be home, and I’m relieved to see that she’s still out with her new boyfriend. “Have a seat,” I offer, gesturing toward the sofa. I’m feeling nervous now that Saul and I are actually here, and I’m not sure what to do next, so I say, “I’ll get us something to snack on.” Then I start for the kitchen, where there are no snacks, but hopefully I can pull myself together and avoid any embarrassment in front of this hunk of guy.
Saul catches me by the arm before I take two steps. “We don’t need any snacks,” he says. “Come here.”
He pulls me down on the sofa beside him. Then he looks at me and smiles. “Where’s your family?”
“It’s just me and my mom,” I reply. “She’s out on a date.”
“Awesome.” He reaches over and takes my hand. “Did you lose your father?”
“No, he lost us. He walked out on Mom before I was born. I’ve never met him. I don’t even know what he looks like. Mom only knew him a couple of months, so there’s no pictures of him or anything.”
“What a dirtbag,” Saul just about snarls. “And I thought my old man was a first-class shmendrik .”
I want to ask what a shmendrik is, but I don’t. “What’s your family like?”
He shakes his head. “Nothing special. There’s my mom and dad and me. I’ve got a brother who’s twenty-four. He’s married and lives in New York. My grandmother lived with us for a few years after my grandfather died. She and her daughter, my mom, are like oil and vinegar, so she moved back to Boston a couple of months ago. I hated to see her go, but the house is a little less crazy without her.” His gaze gets serious as he
I start breathing once more, but I’m so happy now, so excited, and in two seconds, I’m breathless all over again.
W E DON ’ T talk anymore until we’re back sitting in Saul’s car.
“Man, you kind of scared me for a second after I put my hand on your leg,” Saul says, cranking up the engine. “I thought there was a vibe between us yesterday, but after the way you froze up, I started wondering if I’d just made a big fucking mistake and you were gonna take a swing at me.”
“Not a chance,” I reply, still a little stunned at everything. “I was just surprised.”
“In a good way or a bad way?” he asks with a little teasing smile in the corner of his mouth.
“Good way. Definitely.”
He grins, reaches over, and takes my hand as he drives.
We don’t talk after that. There’s no need to, at least for me. He has already told me through his actions everything I want to know for now.
W HEN WE get back to the apartment complex, he doesn’t stop in the fire lane of my building as he did before. He parks in an actual parking space and shuts off the engine. We sit there, listening to the wind blowing softly against the car’s windows.
“You want to come up to my place?” I say.
“Hell, I thought you’d never ask.”
M OM AND I keep the apartment neat, but the furniture is sort of old, the curtains are faded, and there’s only one television, a thirty-two-inch monstrosity from the days when TVs were as bulky as shipping crates. My home has no game system, no DVR, no iPad, no computer. It’s the home of a mother and son living on a waitress’s salary.
I’m not exactly ashamed when I bring Saul into the apartment. Mom has done a good job holding things together financially for us over the years. Our lights have never been cut off for nonpayment. There have been days where we were down to eating boiled spaghetti with no sauce for dinner, but we’ve never taken food stamps or any other kind of public assistance. But I do worry that Saul will think I’m too poor for him to bother with.
On the way upstairs, I hoped Mom wouldn’t be home, and I’m relieved to see that she’s still out with her new boyfriend. “Have a seat,” I offer, gesturing toward the sofa. I’m feeling nervous now that Saul and I are actually here, and I’m not sure what to do next, so I say, “I’ll get us something to snack on.” Then I start for the kitchen, where there are no snacks, but hopefully I can pull myself together and avoid any embarrassment in front of this hunk of guy.
Saul catches me by the arm before I take two steps. “We don’t need any snacks,” he says. “Come here.”
He pulls me down on the sofa beside him. Then he looks at me and smiles. “Where’s your family?”
“It’s just me and my mom,” I reply. “She’s out on a date.”
“Awesome.” He reaches over and takes my hand. “Did you lose your father?”
“No, he lost us. He walked out on Mom before I was born. I’ve never met him. I don’t even know what he looks like. Mom only knew him a couple of months, so there’s no pictures of him or anything.”
“What a dirtbag,” Saul just about snarls. “And I thought my old man was a first-class shmendrik .”
I want to ask what a shmendrik is, but I don’t. “What’s your family like?”
He shakes his head. “Nothing special. There’s my mom and dad and me. I’ve got a brother who’s twenty-four. He’s married and lives in New York. My grandmother lived with us for a few years after my grandfather died. She and her daughter, my mom, are like oil and vinegar, so she moved back to Boston a couple of months ago. I hated to see her go, but the house is a little less crazy without her.” His gaze gets serious as he
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