Illicit Canvas: political romance and stand alone romance by Joanna Mazurkiewicz Page A

meet his mother. Maybe this whole thing won’t be that bad. Colin must sense that our relationship isn’t serious. I won’t ruin his surprise, but I’ll talk to him, possibly in the evening. It will be all right. At least I hope it will.

Chapter Seven
     

Arwen
     
    The next day I wake up early and lie in my bed, thinking about my painting under the bed. I had tried to make myself show it to other people on several occasions. Every time I started unwrap the protective covers, the darkness started to cast its shade over me, the anxiety would kick in and I held it back, kept my work away from intrusive eyes. I keep telling myself that this time it will be different. I’m in control, scared but much stronger.
    The flat is immersed in silence when I walk into the kitchen. Maja is probably still sleeping. I make some toast, thinking about tonight and Colin’s surprise. I’m not a bad actress; I can pretend to enjoy myself, for Colin’s sake. Breakups are never easy, but it’s time to end this with him, whatever this is.
    I take the food to my room and decide to work on something new. I put out a blank canvas and look at it for several moments. My muse inspires me out of the blue and holds me in creative mode for several hours. I’m attempting to paint a portrait of a friend from the past, but the eyes … every time I try to recall the shape and colour of his eyes, I end up with amber. My mind brings up the image of Ethan involuntarily. I’m using soft lines, creating fine texture. The colours are vibrant, with shades of brown and yellow. Maybe this whole thing with Colin won't be that bad. Maybe he will understand that we just aren’t meant to be. The painting is nowhere near finished. There is always something that I have to add or change. I glance back at my secret project, knowing that in a couple of days I’ll be closer to my goal. I know Antoine will judge me. I’m dreading it, but this is the only way forward; otherwise, I will never find my father.
    Maja knocks on my door later on, informing me that she is off to the library. It’s Sunday, but she doesn’t seem to care. At a quarter to five Colin arrives, giving me the report about his football practise. I can’t help but switch off and start daydreaming about Ethan and his smooth, confident hands. I don't believe in love at first sight, but this is something else, something completely different. I feel like I can't function around another man anymore.
    “Right, are you ready then?” Collin asks, bringing me back to reality. I glance back at him, forgetting that he is in my room.
    “Ready for what?” I ask, hoping that he will reveal the surprise. I have no idea why I agreed to this. Colin is a great guy, but he deserves to be with someone more outgoing and fun. I hate myself for being indecisive sometimes.
    “Sugar, I don’t want to spoil the fun, but I don’t want to be late, so we should leave now,” he teases.
    “Okay, all right. How do I look?” I ask. I have no idea where we are going, so I chose to wear a polka dot dress that shows off my legs, just to feel better about myself.
    “Gorgeous, as always.”
      After forty-five minutes on the Metro I’m getting nervous and restless. I don’t know what to expect. Sometimes I just hate surprises. All of a sudden, being with him in the Metro, I feel suffocated.
    “It's quite a distance away from here. I hope you don't mind walking,” says Colin, smiling.
    “You know me. I'm easy,” I reply, feeling like I should turn around, back away. My guilty conscience keeps telling me that I shouldn't be doing this, but Colin seems excited. He keeps caressing my hand and I don’t want to let him down.
    I’m tense all the way through to the last station, and when Colin lets me know that we have arrived I begin toying with the idea of calling this whole thing off. We are now on the outskirts of Brussels in a nice picturesque street filled with old Victorian buildings. I have goose pimples all over