In Her Mind (Mountain High Valley Low ) by Renee Daniel Flagler Page B

anymore. Either you say what you have to say or leave it alone.” I let her arm go and she grabbed it and held it herself. “I won’t be married to you if I can’t have peace in my own house, so just know that this will be the last time we play this game. From now on, if you have something you need to say to me, say it!”
    She narrowed her eyes at me and for a moment I thought she was going to spit in my face. I know for a fact she was surprised because I had never handled her that way before.
“I’m serious, Shelly!” I said.
“What did you just call me?” Lexie’s eyes grew wide and I
could have sworn I saw steam come out of her ears and nostrils.
    Then it hit me. I had called her Shelly. What could have been worse? I had to fix this and fast. If I didn’t have her attention before, I surely had it now.
“Did you just call me Shelly? I know you didn’t just call me
    Shelly.”
“That’s because you are acting like her. I knew that would
finally get your attention.” I tried to play it off.
“Oh! Hell! No! How dare you, Brian? That’s not funny
and don’t try to play it off like you meant to say it. That rolled off
of your tongue a little too naturally. So, Brian, tell me. Just how
much time have you been spending with Shelly that her name
now just rolls naturally off of your tongue? You want to hear what
I have to say—I’ll tell you. I don’t want to be caught up in your
baby mama drama. I’m not trying to put myself out there just to
get hurt. And I don’t appreciate being lied to.”
“Lex, I have never lied to you.”
“Bullshit, Brian! I found your son’s picture way before I
walked into OUR house and found the two of you sound asleep.
How long have you been communicating with Shelly without me
knowing? When did you plan on letting me in on the secret, huh?
How am I supposed to trust you as my husband when I don’t feel
like I can trust you now? How do I know that you won’t wake up
one day and decide that you want your son more than you want
to be with me?”
Lexie’s chest began to rise and fall in rapid succession. I
thought she was about to hyperventilate. Then the tears began to pour from her eyes. She slapped them away as if she was mad they had appeared without her approval. Even though I had asked for her to say what was on her mind, I wasn’t sure how to handle it
once she let it out.
“Lexie.”
“What, Brian?! What do you have to say to me now?” She
turned her back to me. “Just let me know what you want to do.
I need to know. I’m not going to sit around and wait to get my
feelings hurt.”
I couldn’t believe she was thinking this was about an
ultimatum—her or the baby. I wanted both. I just needed time to
find out how to strike a balance. All I could do was rub my head
to try and clear the thoughts running through it.
“Lexie, this is not about you or the baby. You are going to
be my wife and I have a son that I need to be there for. This is all
new to me and I just need to find a way to make it all work out.” “Well, what if Shelly says that you can’t be a part of your
son’s life unless you are with her. That’s just the type of woman
she is, and women like her do it all the time. I can’t compete with
that, so I may as well cut my losses.”
“What are you saying, Lexie?” I felt myself losing control of
my temper.
“Just tell me what the deal is, Brian.” Lexie spoke in a quiet
tone.
“What do you think the deal is, Lexie?” Unconsciously, I
pressed my hands against both sides of my head. Lexie’s tears
flowed like torrents.
“I just don’t want to be left out in the cold. Just let me know
where I stand. I am not going to beg you to be with me and I’m certainly not going to ask you to choose between me and your son.
Just let me know so I know what I have to do.”
I realized that it was up to me to bring clarity to this
situation for Lexie. Looking in her eyes, I saw that the fire was
completely gone. Her once bright, sparkling brown eyes