no mood to grill. But no matter how hard I try, I can’t remember what the hell I got him for his last Father’s Day on this earth.
It’s then that I notice Carleigh isn’t making a card either. She’s doodling her name over and over, but she isn’t making anything. Her long yellow hair is pulled back in a braid, and her eyelashes make shadows on her cheeks, fluttering every now and then like butterfly wings. She looks sad, and I go over to sit next to her without even thinking about it.
She looks up and smiles at me. I like her smile. I like that it shows in her eyes as well as on her mouth. It’s real. Like her. She always says what she’s thinking and does what she wants, and I like that, too. No matter how much I tease her, she always just takes it like a champ and dishes it right back. She never gets mad or cries—not even when we were little. I don’t think I’d do it if she did. I don’t want to see her cry.
“You’re not making a card?” I ask her.
Carleigh shrugs. “No point. My dad’s not going to be here for Father’s Day anyway.” Her dad works a lot, and he’s never really around. I honestly don’t even remember what the guy looks like, if I’ve ever actually met him.
Everyone goes over to the glitter station to decorate the front of their cards, but Carleigh stays back with me.
“I’m sorry, you know. About your dad,” she says.
“Thanks,” I say automatically.
“I thought he was getting better,” she murmurs. “You know, that he came home from the hospital and all…”
“Yeah. We hoped. But then…” I don’t finish my sentence. She already knows how it ends.
“That really sucks,” Carleigh says.
I blink at her for a second, a little surprised. Everyone always says things like “at least he’s in a better place,” and “he’s with God now,” and all that. But Carleigh’s not one to bullshit. And she’s right. It really does suck.
“I’m sorry your dad’s never around,” I tell her. “I’m sure he would be if he could.”
She smiles sadly. “No. He wouldn’t.” But she’s not looking for me to reassure her. She’s just stating a fact.
And what do I know? If Carleigh was my family I’d want to be around her all the time.
“Hey, do you want to hang out Sunday?” she asks suddenly. “We could go see a movie or something?”
A movie.
And then I remember what I got my father for his last Father’s Day. A DVD boxed set of all the Rocky movies—his all-time favorites. I want to thank Carleigh for helping me remember, because right now, it feels like the most important thing in the world that I did, but all I tell her is that, yes, I want to go to the movies with her, and suddenly this week doesn’t feel quite as shitty.
Chapter Five
Carleigh
Last Year
The summer weeks drift by, long and lazy. Tucker has been in East Hampton for the past couple of weeks with Cap’s and Dave’s families. He’s sent me a few texts but I’ve successfully ignored or blown him off. So successfully that he’s stopped texting. Tina is deep into her fledgling relationship with Andy, and though I don’t begrudge her her happiness, it does leave me a little lonely.
My mother is away on her usual August tour of the Côte d’Azur, currently holed up in a villa in the south of France, and frankly, it’s a relief to not have her commenting on everything I do, everything I wear. I’ve spent a lot of time with Billy, which makes me happy, but more and more he wants to be with his friends. Typical twelve-year-old. And I’m the makeshift mother at seventeen, watching my favorite little boy need me less and less.
I’ve been reading a lot, lazing by the pool, and I’ve gone out a few times with some of the other girls. They flirt, and hook up, and I feign interest, all the while telling myself the reason I can’t get Tucker out of my head is because of the sex.
And maybe it is. I’ve heard enough stories to know mine was not a typical first time. Tina lost it
It’s then that I notice Carleigh isn’t making a card either. She’s doodling her name over and over, but she isn’t making anything. Her long yellow hair is pulled back in a braid, and her eyelashes make shadows on her cheeks, fluttering every now and then like butterfly wings. She looks sad, and I go over to sit next to her without even thinking about it.
She looks up and smiles at me. I like her smile. I like that it shows in her eyes as well as on her mouth. It’s real. Like her. She always says what she’s thinking and does what she wants, and I like that, too. No matter how much I tease her, she always just takes it like a champ and dishes it right back. She never gets mad or cries—not even when we were little. I don’t think I’d do it if she did. I don’t want to see her cry.
“You’re not making a card?” I ask her.
Carleigh shrugs. “No point. My dad’s not going to be here for Father’s Day anyway.” Her dad works a lot, and he’s never really around. I honestly don’t even remember what the guy looks like, if I’ve ever actually met him.
Everyone goes over to the glitter station to decorate the front of their cards, but Carleigh stays back with me.
“I’m sorry, you know. About your dad,” she says.
“Thanks,” I say automatically.
“I thought he was getting better,” she murmurs. “You know, that he came home from the hospital and all…”
“Yeah. We hoped. But then…” I don’t finish my sentence. She already knows how it ends.
“That really sucks,” Carleigh says.
I blink at her for a second, a little surprised. Everyone always says things like “at least he’s in a better place,” and “he’s with God now,” and all that. But Carleigh’s not one to bullshit. And she’s right. It really does suck.
“I’m sorry your dad’s never around,” I tell her. “I’m sure he would be if he could.”
She smiles sadly. “No. He wouldn’t.” But she’s not looking for me to reassure her. She’s just stating a fact.
And what do I know? If Carleigh was my family I’d want to be around her all the time.
“Hey, do you want to hang out Sunday?” she asks suddenly. “We could go see a movie or something?”
A movie.
And then I remember what I got my father for his last Father’s Day. A DVD boxed set of all the Rocky movies—his all-time favorites. I want to thank Carleigh for helping me remember, because right now, it feels like the most important thing in the world that I did, but all I tell her is that, yes, I want to go to the movies with her, and suddenly this week doesn’t feel quite as shitty.
Chapter Five
Carleigh
Last Year
The summer weeks drift by, long and lazy. Tucker has been in East Hampton for the past couple of weeks with Cap’s and Dave’s families. He’s sent me a few texts but I’ve successfully ignored or blown him off. So successfully that he’s stopped texting. Tina is deep into her fledgling relationship with Andy, and though I don’t begrudge her her happiness, it does leave me a little lonely.
My mother is away on her usual August tour of the Côte d’Azur, currently holed up in a villa in the south of France, and frankly, it’s a relief to not have her commenting on everything I do, everything I wear. I’ve spent a lot of time with Billy, which makes me happy, but more and more he wants to be with his friends. Typical twelve-year-old. And I’m the makeshift mother at seventeen, watching my favorite little boy need me less and less.
I’ve been reading a lot, lazing by the pool, and I’ve gone out a few times with some of the other girls. They flirt, and hook up, and I feign interest, all the while telling myself the reason I can’t get Tucker out of my head is because of the sex.
And maybe it is. I’ve heard enough stories to know mine was not a typical first time. Tina lost it
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