to fill my bathtub.
He must find something very special about me? I thought to myself.
In a way I had felt bad for the poor servant girls, how frantic and scared they were, not even looking me, another human woman, in the eye. But, I also wondered what they had done to perhaps anger my guard. If it seemed as though he had a problem with them, then I should as well, lest I fall from his good graces. It seemed like an evil thing to do; to not be concerned for my fellow man, or girls in this case. But I needed to watch out for myself, and if that meant having to go along with my guard’s charade, so be it.
The girl with the scar on her face tries to pull me up by my arm and I rip out of her grasp and raise the back of my hand to her in a hitting motion. She cowers slightly under me in fear, whimpering softly, and I felt my heart break. I heard her crying gently, like a whipped little whipped dog and I lowered my hand, immediately feeling ashamed of myself. I looked closely at her and in the sunlight coming through the window I could see that she had much more than just a scar going diagonally across her face. It was deep and wide, as if someone had taken a red-hot pipe to her, the scarring reaching from her scalp to her neck. She looked up at me, only catching my gaze as one of the other girls lifted her to her feet. I saw that one of her eyes had been partially burned closed, her eyeball was white and cloudy beneath her eyelid. I recoiled as I saw her deformation and felt my heart sink; I may have to be a monster to them, but only in front of my guard, I promised myself. I would not lower myself to their standards, to allow them to turn me into a monster because, I too was scared. I would not let that happen to me, if I was going to come out of this strange new land alive, not only had to keep up appearances, but also had to remain what I was; human.
I extended a hand to the young girl and helped the other girl steady her to her feet. Holding each other, they left the room almost crying.
The other two girls remained in the room with me. The taller one came over and removed the dirty blanket from my shoulder and handed it to the other girl, who scurried out the door and down the hallway in the same direction of the other slaves. With her head lowered, she took me by my hand and lead me up to the bathtub. I looked down into the water and inhaled the sweet air, that smelled of spices and lavender. I looked down into the dark tub and saw a tincture of herbs floating in the water, their scent was a symphony. I lifted my dirty foot and eased it into the hotness; it was just the right temperature; the exact temperature I would have made the water back at home. The only difference being that this water didn’t come out of dirty pipes that clanged in the winter. This water looked clear and sparkling, almost as if it had come out of a fresh spring itself.
I eased my leg to the bottom of the tub as I steadied my hand against the girl. The warmth sent soothing waves up my aching joint. I brought my other leg up and slipped it in and eased my entire body in the hot pool. I felt waves of relaxation come cascading over my body as I relaxed deep into the water and wondered if this is how those rich women on TV had felt when they went to a salon to get pampered over the weekend. I, in my earthly life, had never experienced such luxuries. The only luxuries I had been able to afford was my small bathtub, a cheap bottle of wine and cable TV. I let my head slip completely under, letting a small amount of the water seep through my lips, it tasted like unsweetened tea I had gotten once around Christmas time in the city; sweet and spicy.
I wanted to remain under the water, listen to the quiet hum of nothingness, tasting my sweet bath water and letting the warmth wash off all of my sins of the day. I wanted to let everything fade into the background, pretend for a moment that this was truly
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