animals, do what will make you happy. And screw everything else.”
She laughed, but it was an emotion-filled sound. He smiled back, feeling the connection between them deepen.
“I missed you,” he murmured. “I tried not to. Didn’t really realize how much until this past week.”
“I missed you too,” she admitted. “I used to see you around and be envious. You have it all together, and I’ve barely started figuring it out.”
“You’re not on anyone’s schedule,” he replied.
“But I felt like I was. What you asked the other day…why I gave you back your ring. I felt like I had to be on your schedule and I wasn’t ready.”
That surprised him. “I really pressured you that much?”
“You had us all figured out, but I wasn’t sure I was ready to settle down yet. I felt like…like I still had things to figure out first. I loved you, but once I said yes I panicked every night. I tried to explain but it came out wrong. I just needed you to be patient with me, to hear me.”
“And I was too proud and only heard that you were turning me away.”
She nodded.
“So what about us? What about now?”
Her face was partly in shadow from the porch light. “I really don’t know. We’re still a long way from being anything, aren’t we? And I’m still trying to figure things out.”
“You’re shutting the door on us again?” He frowned. After all that had happened, after the proof that not only were they still sexually compatible, but that they were, more importantly, friends… Did he really want to start over? All the signs were pointing to yes. He hadn’t ever thought he’d put himself in the position to let her hurt him again, but here he was. In it up to his neck.
“I’m not doing anything,” she replied, sticking her hands in her coat pockets. “Why is it always all or nothing with you?”
Because I’m afraid you’ll slip away , he thought, but he kept it to himself. He was always so sure about everything, but he was never sure about her. And that made him feel weak.
“It’s not,” he answered carefully. Did he really want to go down this path? Maybe it would be better if he just walked away. Just stayed away. Trouble was, he’d been doing just that and it hadn’t worked. “Let’s just say I want to keep the door open. No pressure.”
“I think I can handle that,” she whispered, and smiled shyly.
Their eyes clung for a few seconds, that in-between space in time when they weren’t quite sure what to do next. “I need to get going, and you probably should too if you’re not going to be late. Any chance of a kiss before I go?”
“Maybe.”
She was playing coy now and he loved it. Maybe he had pushed too hard. Maybe he needed to take it slow and not have all the answers. It wasn’t his usual style but it didn’t mean it was wrong. They could start off with a kiss goodnight and see where it led. The last thing he wanted to do was mess this up for a second time.
He took his hand out of his jacket pocket and looped it around her waist, placing it on the small of her back and drawing her close. Her heeled boots added to her height, so she only had to tilt her head slightly and her glossy lips were there waiting, slightly parted, her breath making thin clouds in the late autumn evening. He shifted them slightly so they were out of the circle of the light. Then he placed his lips on hers.
Her gloss tasted like vanilla and berries. She wound her arms around his neck, pressing herself close to him as they kissed. It was more sweet than passionate. Even though they were out of the light, they were still in her front yard after all. It didn’t stop the surge of desire at the taste and feel of her. He wanted to take her home, make love to her properly in his big bed. His memories of her only added fuel to the fire. Something had been resurrected the night he’d pleasured her on his sofa, and when she was close to him this way he was sure he wanted to finish what they’d
She laughed, but it was an emotion-filled sound. He smiled back, feeling the connection between them deepen.
“I missed you,” he murmured. “I tried not to. Didn’t really realize how much until this past week.”
“I missed you too,” she admitted. “I used to see you around and be envious. You have it all together, and I’ve barely started figuring it out.”
“You’re not on anyone’s schedule,” he replied.
“But I felt like I was. What you asked the other day…why I gave you back your ring. I felt like I had to be on your schedule and I wasn’t ready.”
That surprised him. “I really pressured you that much?”
“You had us all figured out, but I wasn’t sure I was ready to settle down yet. I felt like…like I still had things to figure out first. I loved you, but once I said yes I panicked every night. I tried to explain but it came out wrong. I just needed you to be patient with me, to hear me.”
“And I was too proud and only heard that you were turning me away.”
She nodded.
“So what about us? What about now?”
Her face was partly in shadow from the porch light. “I really don’t know. We’re still a long way from being anything, aren’t we? And I’m still trying to figure things out.”
“You’re shutting the door on us again?” He frowned. After all that had happened, after the proof that not only were they still sexually compatible, but that they were, more importantly, friends… Did he really want to start over? All the signs were pointing to yes. He hadn’t ever thought he’d put himself in the position to let her hurt him again, but here he was. In it up to his neck.
“I’m not doing anything,” she replied, sticking her hands in her coat pockets. “Why is it always all or nothing with you?”
Because I’m afraid you’ll slip away , he thought, but he kept it to himself. He was always so sure about everything, but he was never sure about her. And that made him feel weak.
“It’s not,” he answered carefully. Did he really want to go down this path? Maybe it would be better if he just walked away. Just stayed away. Trouble was, he’d been doing just that and it hadn’t worked. “Let’s just say I want to keep the door open. No pressure.”
“I think I can handle that,” she whispered, and smiled shyly.
Their eyes clung for a few seconds, that in-between space in time when they weren’t quite sure what to do next. “I need to get going, and you probably should too if you’re not going to be late. Any chance of a kiss before I go?”
“Maybe.”
She was playing coy now and he loved it. Maybe he had pushed too hard. Maybe he needed to take it slow and not have all the answers. It wasn’t his usual style but it didn’t mean it was wrong. They could start off with a kiss goodnight and see where it led. The last thing he wanted to do was mess this up for a second time.
He took his hand out of his jacket pocket and looped it around her waist, placing it on the small of her back and drawing her close. Her heeled boots added to her height, so she only had to tilt her head slightly and her glossy lips were there waiting, slightly parted, her breath making thin clouds in the late autumn evening. He shifted them slightly so they were out of the circle of the light. Then he placed his lips on hers.
Her gloss tasted like vanilla and berries. She wound her arms around his neck, pressing herself close to him as they kissed. It was more sweet than passionate. Even though they were out of the light, they were still in her front yard after all. It didn’t stop the surge of desire at the taste and feel of her. He wanted to take her home, make love to her properly in his big bed. His memories of her only added fuel to the fire. Something had been resurrected the night he’d pleasured her on his sofa, and when she was close to him this way he was sure he wanted to finish what they’d
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