out of the bed. Tears of shame are pooling in my eyes. I have to get out. My sarong is on the bed, and he’s half laying on it.
His towel’s on the floor. I pick it up, cover myself as much as possible, and storm out. I’m so hurt that I’d like to find a Parthian shot; something witty and perhaps a bit nasty that I could say under my breath, but loudly enough for him to hear. My brain is frozen in shock, and absolutely nothing comes to mind.
A few steps more, and I’m back in my room. I close the door behind me. I think I’m suffering from a case of emotional whiplash. I lie down on my bed, and close my eyes for a few seconds. When I really want to, I can will myself to sleep. Not today. I’m so wired that I know it’s useless. Today it will not work.
❦
CHAPTER TEN
THERE’S NO WAY THAT I can stay in bed to nurse my wounded pride, which is a very delicate animal. The last time it was hurt was in school when I flunked Physical Ed. Rope climbing was a requirement and no matter how many times I tried, I could not lift my sorry ass from the ground. Gravity is a bitch.
I got over it by telling myself that if I really wanted to, I could develop my arm muscles until they became strong enough to lift my body weight.
It did not make me question my intelligence. It was a question of choice, and I was choosing not to invest my precious time in learning how to climb a rope, since I had no intention of joining a circus act, and had already had failed Physical Ed.
Today, I don’t know what to say to myself.
I feel like an idiot, because I don’t understand what happened. He did come on to me. He did bring me to his room. He did push me onto his bed. So why the sudden cold shower?
I hate this; I don’t have the codes, so whatever it is that I did or did not do to screw this up, I will probably do it again. I’m so frustrated that I could scream.
I’m happy Agatha’s not around right now, because she would really get a kick out of this. Well, maybe not, but she would say that I’ve finally come down from my puffy little cloud, and joined the rest of the human race.
And she would be right. Ever since that first kiss in the pond, I’ve been way out of my comfort zone. I smile and start to giggle. I’m Sleeping Beauty, and I’ve just been awakened by a kiss. I’m certifiable.
I give myself a mental kick in the ass, and throw on a T-shirt and my jeans. I go downstairs to face the world. I have to remember how fierce I am.
Hey, I’m a Red Demon that has chased away a wild leopard… I’m a commando demon, too. Yesterday, I left my undies to dry on the line outside the building. With all this rain, I’m not about to wear a bra or panties for a few days.
Downstairs, Cook is by herself setting the table. I frown when I see her. I wanted to be alone.
She’s feeling guilty, I think, because when she sees me frown, she looks down, and says, “Mister Oliver, he, my boss. No secret for Mister Oliver.”
I shrug and say, “Don’t worry about it.”
I understand her lack of loyalty to me. I’m just a visitor, and he’s a more permanent fixture. I can’t expect her to jeopardize her job because I patched up her son and nephew’s knees.
The instant of courage I just had has passed.
I really need to be alone for a moment. Going out is not an option with this rain, and my room is stuffy and claustrophobic if I close the door. The lab is my only choice. On weekends, it’s usually empty. I go in and switch on the fan but not the light, and sit on the floor with my back to the wall. I put on my headphones that stay on my worktable, wrap my arms around my legs, close my eyes and rest my head on my knees. I concentrate on the music, and take a deep breath. This is what I do when I get stuck in work, and need to calm down the turmoil in my head. Some days I can almost stop to think.
A couple of songs later, someone comes and sits next to me. One strong arm
His towel’s on the floor. I pick it up, cover myself as much as possible, and storm out. I’m so hurt that I’d like to find a Parthian shot; something witty and perhaps a bit nasty that I could say under my breath, but loudly enough for him to hear. My brain is frozen in shock, and absolutely nothing comes to mind.
A few steps more, and I’m back in my room. I close the door behind me. I think I’m suffering from a case of emotional whiplash. I lie down on my bed, and close my eyes for a few seconds. When I really want to, I can will myself to sleep. Not today. I’m so wired that I know it’s useless. Today it will not work.
❦
CHAPTER TEN
THERE’S NO WAY THAT I can stay in bed to nurse my wounded pride, which is a very delicate animal. The last time it was hurt was in school when I flunked Physical Ed. Rope climbing was a requirement and no matter how many times I tried, I could not lift my sorry ass from the ground. Gravity is a bitch.
I got over it by telling myself that if I really wanted to, I could develop my arm muscles until they became strong enough to lift my body weight.
It did not make me question my intelligence. It was a question of choice, and I was choosing not to invest my precious time in learning how to climb a rope, since I had no intention of joining a circus act, and had already had failed Physical Ed.
Today, I don’t know what to say to myself.
I feel like an idiot, because I don’t understand what happened. He did come on to me. He did bring me to his room. He did push me onto his bed. So why the sudden cold shower?
I hate this; I don’t have the codes, so whatever it is that I did or did not do to screw this up, I will probably do it again. I’m so frustrated that I could scream.
I’m happy Agatha’s not around right now, because she would really get a kick out of this. Well, maybe not, but she would say that I’ve finally come down from my puffy little cloud, and joined the rest of the human race.
And she would be right. Ever since that first kiss in the pond, I’ve been way out of my comfort zone. I smile and start to giggle. I’m Sleeping Beauty, and I’ve just been awakened by a kiss. I’m certifiable.
I give myself a mental kick in the ass, and throw on a T-shirt and my jeans. I go downstairs to face the world. I have to remember how fierce I am.
Hey, I’m a Red Demon that has chased away a wild leopard… I’m a commando demon, too. Yesterday, I left my undies to dry on the line outside the building. With all this rain, I’m not about to wear a bra or panties for a few days.
Downstairs, Cook is by herself setting the table. I frown when I see her. I wanted to be alone.
She’s feeling guilty, I think, because when she sees me frown, she looks down, and says, “Mister Oliver, he, my boss. No secret for Mister Oliver.”
I shrug and say, “Don’t worry about it.”
I understand her lack of loyalty to me. I’m just a visitor, and he’s a more permanent fixture. I can’t expect her to jeopardize her job because I patched up her son and nephew’s knees.
The instant of courage I just had has passed.
I really need to be alone for a moment. Going out is not an option with this rain, and my room is stuffy and claustrophobic if I close the door. The lab is my only choice. On weekends, it’s usually empty. I go in and switch on the fan but not the light, and sit on the floor with my back to the wall. I put on my headphones that stay on my worktable, wrap my arms around my legs, close my eyes and rest my head on my knees. I concentrate on the music, and take a deep breath. This is what I do when I get stuck in work, and need to calm down the turmoil in my head. Some days I can almost stop to think.
A couple of songs later, someone comes and sits next to me. One strong arm
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