Jaguar Sun by Martha Bourke Page A

let me tell you that it doesn’t hurt. Um, maybe you should tell me about how it happened.”
    “I was feeling nauseous while we were doing laps in P.E. Dave Turner clipped me when he ran past me. I guess it pissed me off.”
    “No, I mean tell me how you felt when you phased for the first time.” God, I hoped I was doing this right.
    “You mean scared shitless?”
    “No, you weren’t. Think back. I don’t think you were afraid when you were Gray Wolf. Fear is your human reaction afterward. I felt the same way.”
    He gave this some thought. “You know, you’re right, I don’t think I was scared. I think I felt...powerful.”
    “Good. Now try to relax, clear your mind.” I watched as he cracked his knuckles and moved his head from side to side. ( Jocks. ) “Okay, now picture Gray Wolf in your mind and focus on that feeling of power. Don’t be afraid. He’s part of you.” I knew that Balam was guiding me.
    Phasing myself was one thing, but seeing someone else phase for the first time … well, Matt was right, it was amazing. And fast. I mean, it seemed pretty quick when I phased, but watching it now I realized it took only seconds.
    And suddenly there he was! He was the perfect combination of strength and beauty. I walked up to him and stroked his muzzle, and as I did I looked into his eyes and realized I could see him. I could see Matt inside them. His eyes were the same color as his human eyes and, yep, Matt was definitely in there. And suddenly I laughed, and then I backed away from him and phased. My jaguar eyes stared into his wolf eyes for a moment, and then I took off into the forest, daring him to keep up with me.
    On and on we ran, knowing only freedom and each other. We stopped to drink from small creeks here and there, but we spent most of the time moving. We ran, we chased, we played and just generally tested our new bodies. We headed to the lake and peered out from the tree line to see if anyone was camping nearby, then we walked down to the water’s edge, and I phased back, wanting to be with just Matt again. He looked at me and cocked his head to the side. The silvery moonlight reflected off of his shiny gray coat. He looked magnificent.
    “Just desire it,” I said.
    He phased back and we plopped down on the sand, exhausted. We lay on our sides facing one another, and then he pulled me close, so close our bodies were perfectly aligned. He brushed my hair away from my face and cupped my cheek with his hand.
    “I love you,” he said, his eyes searching mine. And then the craziest thing happened. The wall that had been between us melted away as though it had never existed. I had always cared about him, but something inside me changed at that moment. My soul understood his, and I knew that he felt the same.
    “I love you, too,” I said.
    Laughing, he rolled over and pulled me on top of him.
    “Hey, what’s so funny?” I asked.
    “I dunno,” he said, kissing my forehead. “Life, I mean, this past week has been hands-down the worst week of my life, but now here you are. It’s like, if I had known that I was going to be here in this place with you while all that other shit was going on—”
    “You would have dealt with it gladly?”
    “Well, gladly might be a strong word.”
    “Hey!” I was laughing, too.
    “Seriously, though. We still have a lot to deal with,” he said. “School. Our parents....”
    “I’m not worried,” I said. And it was true. I knew that whatever happened, we would deal with it together. “How are things with your mom?” I asked.
    “It’s hard. I mean, she’s always been totally supportive of me, you know that, and she’s been worried about me and how upset I’ve been. I’m sure she’s confused. She’s super Christian, and this isn’t in the Bible. But I know she loves me. You know, babe, you’re gonna have to tell your dad.”
    Oh, God! The minute he said that I could feel my eyes start to burn. I lowered my head and started pushing bits of sand