Jeeves and the Wedding Bells by Sebastian Faulks Page A

herself a leading authority on – I think I’ve got this right – Sumerian tablets and the cuneiform script.
    ‘One thing bothers me in particular, Jeeves. If something comes can something else be far behind?’
    ‘Perhaps you have in mind the poet Shelley, sir. “If winter comes, can spring be far behind?”’
    ‘That’s the boy. I mean, must we expect Aunt Agatha at any moment?’
    ‘I think we may be fairly sure that Lady Worplesdon is detained in London.’
    ‘I bally well hope so, Jeeves. We left plenty of provisions and a spare key for the juvenile delinquent?’
    ‘Her ladyship was well provided for, sir.’
    ‘Jolly good. And in any event I shan’t be going within a mile of Melbury Hall. I’m off to Swanage to get some sea air. When I return, I shall have a solution to the Woody and Amelia problem.’
    ‘Indeed, sir? And what about the question of Miss Meadowes, Mr Venables and the future of Melbury Hall?’
    ‘Jeeves,’ I said, ‘I think my success with Burke and Debrett has nettled you. I detect a hint of green.’
    ‘On the contrary, sir, I wish you every—’
    ‘I see something of the dog and plenty of the manger.’
    ‘As you wish, sir. Will you be back in time for tea?’
    It took me rather longer than I had expected to motor down past Wareham and on towards Corfe Castle, though I must say it was an invigorating drive, with the Purbeck Hills rising gently to starboard. The trouble with these picturesque outings is that the chap at the wheel never gets a decent look at the scenery. I kept thinking how much better it would be if I had aco-driver. And before you could say ‘Brooklands’ this co-driver had, in my mind, taken the shape of a tallish female in a cotton print dress, long of limb and with eyes the colour of melting chocolate.
    I had to remind myself pretty firmly that this vision was betrothed to another and that this ruled her strictly hors de combat . I rushed neither the crab salad, the half-bot, nor the soothing coffee and cigarette that followed. Instead, I gazed out to sea a fair bit, and I cannot deny that it was a pensive Bertram who climbed aboard and restarted the engine.
    By the time I got back to Kingston St Giles, I had put all such thoughts to one side. We Woosters do not stew in our own juice. My mind had become once more a precision instrument tuned to a single end: the reuniting of P. Beeching with his heart’s desire.
    ‘Jeeves,’ I called out as I crossed the hall, ‘I’ve got a plan and it’s an absolute pippin.’
    There was a short pause while the faithful manservant could be heard conducting some business with pot and cups. He emerged from the kitchen with a look one could describe as distrait .
    ‘Everything all right, Jeeves? I think I’ll have the tea indoors today.’
    I took a chair by the inglenook. After a bit of straining and pouring, Jeeves drew himself up to his full height.
    ‘Sir?’
    ‘Yes, Jeeves?’
    ‘There’s been a development.’
    ‘What?’ There was something in his manner that froze the cup halfway to the lip.
    ‘You will recall that I mentioned Sir Henry’s interest in horses, sir, and our animated conversation on the matter.’
    ‘Of course. How did your tips do? Any winners?’
    ‘Three of the horses were successful, sir, and the fourth was beaten by a short head.’
    ‘And had Sir Henry piled into them?’
    ‘As much as he was able to in his somewhat illiquid circumstances, I believe.’
    ‘So he must be happy as a sandboy.’
    ‘He called in half an hour ago to bring the news and—’
    ‘Golly. Close escape.’
    ‘His mood was decidedly improved. He was most generous in giving me credit for the reversal in his fortunes.’
    ‘I should jolly well think so. So why the long face, Jeeves?’
    ‘Sir Henry appears convinced that I can be relied on to effect similar results from the rest of the meeting.’
    ‘And can you?’
    ‘I think it highly unlikely, sir.’
    ‘And you told him so?’
    ‘I did, but he