Julia's Hope by Leisha Kelly

was timid, like she wasn’t quite sure what I might say or what I might do.
    “I don’t want to talk right now.”
    She came closer, despite my unfriendly words. “That’s okay,” she whispered. “There’s not much I can say, anyway.”
    She stood quiet for a moment, and then I felt her hand on my back, gentle and warm. “Robby’s reading to Sarah again,” she said. “Then they’re going to lie down.”
    “Maybe you should be with them.”
    “They’re fine.” She leaned down and kissed my neck. “I miss you,” she whispered. “I miss us.”
    I almost pushed her away. “I’ve got nothing for you, Julia,” I told her. “You’d be better off without me.”
    But she kissed at my neck again like she hadn’t heard a word I’d said.
    “I’ll ask after work tomorrow,” I promised. “I’ll even ask after this farm, if that’s what you want, but you might as well know I don’t expect nothing out of it. If the owners were to give someone this place, you know they’d pick somebody local. Maybe we’d have a better chance back in Pennsylvania.”
    She just leaned into me, ignoring what I’d said, easing me toward the floor.
    “Juli—”
    “Shhh.” She kissed my lips for the first time in months.
    “The kids are awake,” I reminded her.
    “They’re fine.”
    “The floor’s dirty.”
    “Not as bad as it was.”
    I sat there for a moment, wondering why she didn’t hate me and how she could lay aside her feelings this way and act as though everything were fine.
    “We can do this together,” she said. “And that’s the only way we can do it. I need you now more than I ever have.”
    I almost protested. But she kissed me again, and I couldn’t hold myself back from her anymore. I put my arms around her and pulled her close. I hugged her tight and told her I would love her until the stars fell out of the sky. Juli, the light of my day, the gift that God gave me to share in my night. I would have fallen away if it weren’t for her. I would have been like Bill Harvey, blind, alone, more dead than alive.
    Morning had us up bright and early, packing our things back in our bags. The sun was shining and Julia was folding the blankets carefully and putting them back where we found them. I could think of little more than her apology to me in the night for being so distant and angry.
    She sang as she made us strawberry-leaf tea again, even though there was nothing to eat with it. “We’re on our way to town,” she told the children. “We’ll be eating when we get there.”
    “I don’t want to go!” Sarah declared, folding her little arms across her chest. “Why can’t we stay here?”
    Juli seemed hesitant. “We have to find the grocery store, for one thing.”
    “Daddy and Robby can go! You and me can stay here and pick mushyrooms again!”
    Juli knelt and put her arm around Sarah. “You have to make arrangements when it comes to things like a home,” she explained gently. “We can’t stay here any longer until we talk to someone, and it’s far too soon to know what the answer might be. We might decide to go and visit Cousin Dewy for awhile. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
    “No,” she said. “I wanna stay here.”
    “Well, we’re all going into town and we’re not about to leave you behind.” Juli pulled a ribbon from her handbag and tied back Sarah’s hair.
    I stuffed Juli’s Bible and a storybook into the top of the largest bag. Robert just stood beside me, listening to everything but not adding a word.
    “Are we ever coming back?” Sarah asked quietly.
    “I don’t know, honey,” Juli answered her. “God knows.”
    “I wish we had a car. Then we could go wherever we want.”
    “Well, maybe we’ll get us a good quick ride.” She stood up and took Sarah’s hand.
    “Does Dearing have a soda shop?”
    Juli smiled at the sudden change of subject. “I have no idea. But we won’t be visiting there, even if they do. Now if they have a library, that would be