no rule against it, I suppose. But valentines are really supposed to be given to others.”
She thought for a second.
“Oops. I guess that means I made a mistake, doesn’t it?” she said. “Since you won’t be bringing in cards for yourselves, you will only need to bring in seventeen valentines.”
I raised up my hand again.
“Yeah, only what if we also want to bring a valentime for
you,
Mrs.?” I asked.
Mrs. raised up her eyebrows.
“Well, then you would be back up to eighteen again. Wouldn’t you?” she said. “Seventeen plus one equals eighteen.”
I tapped on my chin.
“Yeah, only what if there’s people in herewho we don’t actually like that much? Do we have to bring them a valentime, too?”
“Yes, Junie B.,” she said. “Of course you do. Valentine’s Day is a day of friendship for
everyone.
So every single boy and girl in Room Nine will bring a card for every other boy and girl.”
After Mrs. finished explaining, she sat back down at her desk.
I zoomed up there and whispered in her ear.
“Yeah, only I know I have to bring cards to the
regular
boys and girls,” I said real soft. “But I don’t have to bring cards to the big, fat stinky heads, do I?”
All of a sudden, Mrs. throwed her arms in the air.
“Yes, Junie B.! Yes, you do!” she said. “For the last time…you will bring a card for
everyone
in Room Nine. Even the big, fat stinky heads!”
Just then, all of Room Nine looked at her.
’Cause teachers are not supposed to say
big, fat stinky heads,
I think.
After that, Mrs. closed her eyes for a real long time.
Then finally, she stood up very slow.
And she went to the sink.
And she took aspirin.
The next day was Saturday.
And it was the funnest Saturday ever!
’Cause Daddy took me to the drugstore! And he bought me beautiful heart antennas for my head! Plus also he let me pick out my very own box of valentimes!
After we got home, Mother helped me pick out the perfect cards for every person in Room Nine.
First, I picked a card for my bestest friend Lucille. It had a lovely princess on the front of it.
“This one, Mother!” I said. “I will giveLucille this one! ’Cause when she grows up, she is going to marry an expensive prince! And she is going to let me and Grace sweep her castle! Plus also we will get to wear her raggedy used-up gowns!”
Mother looked and looked at me.
“Lucille is a regular saint,” she said very quiet.
“I know it,” I said. “Me and Grace are lucky to have her.”
After that, I found the perfect card for Grace, too. It had two running shoes on the front of it!
Mother read me the words.
It said,
Valentine! You and I make the perfect pair!
“We do, Mother! Me and that Grace do make the perfect pair! ’Cause Grace can beat me at running! And I can beat Grace atlots of other stuff, probably! Only I haven’t actually found anything yet.”
After that, I picked out special cards for all of the other children in Room Nine.
Every time I picked out a valentime, Mother crossed a name off the list.
Finally, there was only one name left.
“Jim,” said Mother. “You still need to pick a card for Jim.”
I did a big sigh. ’Cause I didn’t want to give that guy one, of course.
I looked all through my box of valentimes.
Then, all of a sudden, I saw a card with a funny skunk on the front.
“That one,” I said. “I will send Jim that one.”
Mother shook her head.
“I don’t know, Junie B.,” she said. “Apicture of a skunk just doesn’t seem very nice.”
I put it in an envelope.
“Perfect,” I said. “’Cause neither is Jim.”
4 / The Disagreedment
On Monday I skipped into Room Nine very thrilled.
“Mrs.! Mrs.! Look!” I said. “I have all my valentimes for the big, giant valentimes box! They are right here in this paper bag I am carrying!”
I runned and showed her inside it.
“See them? See them, Mrs.? I matched every single card to the exact person who will get it!” I explained.
Mrs. patted
She thought for a second.
“Oops. I guess that means I made a mistake, doesn’t it?” she said. “Since you won’t be bringing in cards for yourselves, you will only need to bring in seventeen valentines.”
I raised up my hand again.
“Yeah, only what if we also want to bring a valentime for
you,
Mrs.?” I asked.
Mrs. raised up her eyebrows.
“Well, then you would be back up to eighteen again. Wouldn’t you?” she said. “Seventeen plus one equals eighteen.”
I tapped on my chin.
“Yeah, only what if there’s people in herewho we don’t actually like that much? Do we have to bring them a valentime, too?”
“Yes, Junie B.,” she said. “Of course you do. Valentine’s Day is a day of friendship for
everyone.
So every single boy and girl in Room Nine will bring a card for every other boy and girl.”
After Mrs. finished explaining, she sat back down at her desk.
I zoomed up there and whispered in her ear.
“Yeah, only I know I have to bring cards to the
regular
boys and girls,” I said real soft. “But I don’t have to bring cards to the big, fat stinky heads, do I?”
All of a sudden, Mrs. throwed her arms in the air.
“Yes, Junie B.! Yes, you do!” she said. “For the last time…you will bring a card for
everyone
in Room Nine. Even the big, fat stinky heads!”
Just then, all of Room Nine looked at her.
’Cause teachers are not supposed to say
big, fat stinky heads,
I think.
After that, Mrs. closed her eyes for a real long time.
Then finally, she stood up very slow.
And she went to the sink.
And she took aspirin.
The next day was Saturday.
And it was the funnest Saturday ever!
’Cause Daddy took me to the drugstore! And he bought me beautiful heart antennas for my head! Plus also he let me pick out my very own box of valentimes!
After we got home, Mother helped me pick out the perfect cards for every person in Room Nine.
First, I picked a card for my bestest friend Lucille. It had a lovely princess on the front of it.
“This one, Mother!” I said. “I will giveLucille this one! ’Cause when she grows up, she is going to marry an expensive prince! And she is going to let me and Grace sweep her castle! Plus also we will get to wear her raggedy used-up gowns!”
Mother looked and looked at me.
“Lucille is a regular saint,” she said very quiet.
“I know it,” I said. “Me and Grace are lucky to have her.”
After that, I found the perfect card for Grace, too. It had two running shoes on the front of it!
Mother read me the words.
It said,
Valentine! You and I make the perfect pair!
“We do, Mother! Me and that Grace do make the perfect pair! ’Cause Grace can beat me at running! And I can beat Grace atlots of other stuff, probably! Only I haven’t actually found anything yet.”
After that, I picked out special cards for all of the other children in Room Nine.
Every time I picked out a valentime, Mother crossed a name off the list.
Finally, there was only one name left.
“Jim,” said Mother. “You still need to pick a card for Jim.”
I did a big sigh. ’Cause I didn’t want to give that guy one, of course.
I looked all through my box of valentimes.
Then, all of a sudden, I saw a card with a funny skunk on the front.
“That one,” I said. “I will send Jim that one.”
Mother shook her head.
“I don’t know, Junie B.,” she said. “Apicture of a skunk just doesn’t seem very nice.”
I put it in an envelope.
“Perfect,” I said. “’Cause neither is Jim.”
4 / The Disagreedment
On Monday I skipped into Room Nine very thrilled.
“Mrs.! Mrs.! Look!” I said. “I have all my valentimes for the big, giant valentimes box! They are right here in this paper bag I am carrying!”
I runned and showed her inside it.
“See them? See them, Mrs.? I matched every single card to the exact person who will get it!” I explained.
Mrs. patted
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