Just Needs Killin
out.
    While the old crone slept off her latest TIA, I made a piece of toast, buttered the whole thing, folded it over, and stuffed the entire slice into my mouth. I then removed every drop of alcohol from the boat, loading it into Se Vende for pickup by Denny. By the time he left with booze bottles stacked to the gunwales of his dink, it was dark, and I was exhausted.
    Po Thang, who had never met Aunt Lil, sniffed her with suspicion, then gave her a wide berth. Po Thang is an excellent judge of character.
    I'd already called Jan and told her why the cops picked me up, and asked her to call off the legal and embassy dogs because I wasn't headed for the hoosegow, but was suffering a far worse fate. As soon as I had Lil bedded down, I called Jan again. "Uh, what exactly did you tell the consulate and that lawyer when you called them on my behalf?"
    "That for reasons unknown you were rounded up and hauled off by some federales . When I called them back, I told 'em everything was okay, and that this time you weren't guilty of an international crime spree."
    "Gee, thanks. Now I'm really sorry I told those cops you beheaded a Japanese gentleman in his hotel room."
    "Very funny. And speaking of," she dropped into a whisper, "Mrs. Ishikawa told me her husband was called back to Japan on urgent business, and that she would like to stay another week before taking the kids back home."
    "All right! Wait a minute. He called her?"
    "Yeah, that's what I asked myself. Nope, turns out his secretary called the missus with the message from the mister. Said he was on a plane or something. Is this getting weird, or what?"
    "You want weird? Come over to my world."
    "Ya know, Hetta, I kinda like your Aunt Lil."
    "I'll have her at your place early tomorrow morning."
    "Don't like her that much."
    "Some friend you are."
    "So, your mom is coming down to fetch Lil?"
    "I sure as hell hope so, and the sooner the better. The airlines won't let Aunt Lillian fly without an escort, and that ain't gonna be me."
    "When your mom shows up, I'll come over for a visit."
    "Good, because if she doesn't get here, like tomorrow, you can help her load her sister's body into my dink."
     
    True to the rollercoaster moods defining her, it was the hungover/grouch Lil who emerged from my guest cabin the next morning. Hungover/grouch, when allowed her first Bloody Mary of the day, usually morphs into Somewhat Tolerable as she  explains away her actions, at least those she remembers, of the day, or week, before.
    Since there was not a drop of Mary, bloody or otherwise, on Raymond Johnson , Lil went immediately to angry/raging aunt.
    Po Thang jumped into Se Vende and cowered there. If he had an opposable thumb, I think he would have started the motor and escaped to the beach, but lacking that dexterity we humans enjoy, he simply just jumped overboard and swam away.
    I didn't even try to call him back, but instead, followed. Yelling over my shoulder as I motored away after my dog, I told Lil there was food in the fridge, and coffee in the pot.
    When I caught up to Po Thang, he was on the beach, sniffing and doing his critter-chasing thing with the occasional worried look back at our boat. I cut the motor, and even a quarter mile or so from the boat, Aunt Lil's yowling echoed across the otherwise peaceful bay. I collected Po Thang, and we motored to the dinghy landing so I could rinse him down.
    While he dried in the sun, I sat on the dock and sulked. How was I going to survive the next couple of days until my mother arrived? More importantly, how was Aunt Lil going to survive if I had to live with her?
    "Why so glum, Hetta?"
    I almost jumped into the water. One of the single-handers had walked up behind me as I contemplated how to off my aunt, and then explain her demise to Mom. "Crap, Robert, you scared me silly."
    "Sorry. I, uh, heard about you bein' hauled off by the law. Glad to see you back."
    "I wonder if they would consider hauling me off again."
    "Boy, must be serious if

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