foot.
“Picking a different theme song for every date we go on,” he said.
She leaned forward. “That happened to you?”
“Yep.”
She sat back. “Wow.”
“Is it that hard to believe that a woman would be crazy—literally—about me?” he asked with mock offense.
“Of course not,” she said, patting his shoulder. But she seemed to be distracted by the thought of women acting like mental patients over her husband. “What else?”
“I had a woman take lipstick and draw hearts on the fronts of all my underwear,” Ben said.
Dooley chuckled. “Like marking her territory?”
Ben grinned and Jessica scowled.
“I had a girl who changed my voicemail to say, ‘This is Kevin’s phone. And this is Tori. If you’re a girl hoping to go out with him, don’t bother leaving a message. He’s taken’.”
Sara clapped. “I love that! You deserve a girl who’s nuts and possessive about you,” she said.
Kevin shuddered. “The message was bad enough, but I didn’t know she’d done it for several days. These jerks never told me and it wasn’t until my mother called and then wanted to know all about Tori that I found out.”
The guys were laughing and Kevin just sighed.
“One of Sam’s girls changed his ringtone to her singing ‘You Shook Me All Night Long’,” Mac said.
“One of Mac’s girls started calling all of us eight times a day when he wouldn’t return her calls,” Sam said.
As long as they were on the phone theme, Dooley thought he should add, “A girl I dated had her mom call me three times a day when I tried to break up with her.”
Sara actually had to wipe her eyes, she was laughing so hard. “You have to be making this stuff up.”
“Come on, Sam, you’ve got some doozies,” Mac said. “Tell them a couple.”
“Well, there was the girl who cut a piece of fabric out of his car seat where they first had sex,” Dooley said. That was one of his favorite stories.
Dani’s jaw dropped open and she stared at her husband. He pretended to be very interested in the plant on the table by the couch.
“And don’t forget the boob cake,” Mac said.
“Oh, yeah, the boob cake,” Kevin added.
“The boob cake?” Danika asked. She completely turned to face Sam. “What boob cake?”
He shrugged. “A girl made me a cake that looked like a boob.”
Kevin burst out laughing. “There’s a little more to it than that.”
“Oh?” Danika looked sincerely interested.
“Tell us, tell us, tell us,” Sara chanted, bouncing up and down on Mac’s lap.
Sam just took another drink of beer.
“It was shaped like one of her boobs,” Mac said. “She had it molded to be exactly the size and shape of hers. So it was more like a cupcake, right Sam?”
Sam still said nothing.
Jessica’s eyes were wide. “No way.”
“Oh, yes,” Dooley assured her.
“With a nipple too?” Ben asked.
“Yep. A candy nipple. So he could suck on it,” Mac said, his grin wide.
“There are worse things than a boob cake,” Ben said with a shrug.
“Yeah, but it was a little creepy cutting into it,” Mac said.
“You ate it ?” Danika asked. “Are you crazy?”
“What?”
“What if she’d poisoned it or something?”
“She wanted me,” Sam finally said. “Why would she try to kill me?”
“I can think of a reason or two,” Sara muttered.
“Maybe to keep anyone else from having you?” Dani said. “Ever think of that? It’s not like we’re talking about someone who’s real balanced and rational.”
The guys were quiet. Actually, they hadn’t thought of that.
“I dated a girl who wanted to always share silverware at dinner,” Dooley offered after a moment.
“What do you mean?” Sara asked.
“Like she only wanted to eat with the same fork or spoon I used.”
“Okay, that’s creepy,” Jessica said.
“ That’s creepy?” Ben repeated. “As if all the other stuff isn’t?”
“Yeah, why did you guys keeping dating women? Or even going out in public? That’s
“Picking a different theme song for every date we go on,” he said.
She leaned forward. “That happened to you?”
“Yep.”
She sat back. “Wow.”
“Is it that hard to believe that a woman would be crazy—literally—about me?” he asked with mock offense.
“Of course not,” she said, patting his shoulder. But she seemed to be distracted by the thought of women acting like mental patients over her husband. “What else?”
“I had a woman take lipstick and draw hearts on the fronts of all my underwear,” Ben said.
Dooley chuckled. “Like marking her territory?”
Ben grinned and Jessica scowled.
“I had a girl who changed my voicemail to say, ‘This is Kevin’s phone. And this is Tori. If you’re a girl hoping to go out with him, don’t bother leaving a message. He’s taken’.”
Sara clapped. “I love that! You deserve a girl who’s nuts and possessive about you,” she said.
Kevin shuddered. “The message was bad enough, but I didn’t know she’d done it for several days. These jerks never told me and it wasn’t until my mother called and then wanted to know all about Tori that I found out.”
The guys were laughing and Kevin just sighed.
“One of Sam’s girls changed his ringtone to her singing ‘You Shook Me All Night Long’,” Mac said.
“One of Mac’s girls started calling all of us eight times a day when he wouldn’t return her calls,” Sam said.
As long as they were on the phone theme, Dooley thought he should add, “A girl I dated had her mom call me three times a day when I tried to break up with her.”
Sara actually had to wipe her eyes, she was laughing so hard. “You have to be making this stuff up.”
“Come on, Sam, you’ve got some doozies,” Mac said. “Tell them a couple.”
“Well, there was the girl who cut a piece of fabric out of his car seat where they first had sex,” Dooley said. That was one of his favorite stories.
Dani’s jaw dropped open and she stared at her husband. He pretended to be very interested in the plant on the table by the couch.
“And don’t forget the boob cake,” Mac said.
“Oh, yeah, the boob cake,” Kevin added.
“The boob cake?” Danika asked. She completely turned to face Sam. “What boob cake?”
He shrugged. “A girl made me a cake that looked like a boob.”
Kevin burst out laughing. “There’s a little more to it than that.”
“Oh?” Danika looked sincerely interested.
“Tell us, tell us, tell us,” Sara chanted, bouncing up and down on Mac’s lap.
Sam just took another drink of beer.
“It was shaped like one of her boobs,” Mac said. “She had it molded to be exactly the size and shape of hers. So it was more like a cupcake, right Sam?”
Sam still said nothing.
Jessica’s eyes were wide. “No way.”
“Oh, yes,” Dooley assured her.
“With a nipple too?” Ben asked.
“Yep. A candy nipple. So he could suck on it,” Mac said, his grin wide.
“There are worse things than a boob cake,” Ben said with a shrug.
“Yeah, but it was a little creepy cutting into it,” Mac said.
“You ate it ?” Danika asked. “Are you crazy?”
“What?”
“What if she’d poisoned it or something?”
“She wanted me,” Sam finally said. “Why would she try to kill me?”
“I can think of a reason or two,” Sara muttered.
“Maybe to keep anyone else from having you?” Dani said. “Ever think of that? It’s not like we’re talking about someone who’s real balanced and rational.”
The guys were quiet. Actually, they hadn’t thought of that.
“I dated a girl who wanted to always share silverware at dinner,” Dooley offered after a moment.
“What do you mean?” Sara asked.
“Like she only wanted to eat with the same fork or spoon I used.”
“Okay, that’s creepy,” Jessica said.
“ That’s creepy?” Ben repeated. “As if all the other stuff isn’t?”
“Yeah, why did you guys keeping dating women? Or even going out in public? That’s
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