giddy or anything, but I bet she was afraid you were going to get married."
"And to think, I was contemplating having her for my maid of honor."
"YOU WERE NOT!" Therese's voice rises about three octaves. "You take that back right now. You cannot be serious!"
I'm laughing, so Therese has come through for me, yet again. "No, not really, but it is certainly fun to get your panties in a twist."
With that, she disconnects and I get in the shower.
Walking into the funeral home with the other members of the social studies department, I take a deep breath and try not to pass out. The scent of flowers and candles and funeral home overwhelms me. Even though we're on the early side, the place is already packed. Great. I don't want to see people. I don't want to talk to anyone. I especially don't want to talk to Martha, the woman standing next to me. She teaches freshman social studies. She's already a blubbering mess. I try not to look at her. I can't watch someone cry without crying. I know I'm totally delusional to think I will get through tonight without crying.
"I can't believe he's gone. I can't believe this happened!" Martha's voice is a whisper. An Irish one. The elderly woman in front of us seems to crumple a bit as she begins crying. This only makes Martha cry more. She's sniffing and snorting, so I try to focus on that. "You know," sniff , "I always," sniff , "thought that you and," sniff sniff sniff , "Robin were together. I guess you were just close because he was engaged to your sister." And then she blows her nose, making a sound like a goose being strangled.
I'm going to throw up. I can't do this. I can't be here. I need air. I need to get out. I need ...
Black. Everything is black.
I hear the voices and then smell this terrible, terrible, awful smell that causes my eyes to fly open and water at the same time. I try to sit up but there are too many people around me. This is not helping.
"Sadie, are you okay?" It's my principal, John. I haven't seen him since the lingerie incident. I feel my face flushing even more, just thinking of that. I hear somebody say, "Look at how red she is! Should we call an ambulance?"
I succeed in sitting up this time. "I'm fine. I just need some air." I need not to have caused the death of a student and my boyfriend. I need my sister not to have been having an affair with said boyfriend. I need this not to be my life.
Someone hands me a paper cup of water and I down it. It helps. I could drink about forty more of those. "Okay, everyone. Why don't you go back into the viewing room. I'll stay with Sadie and make sure she's okay."
I would have said that John was the last person I would want to be with right now, but I appreciate his quiet command of the situation. In ways like that, he reminds me of my dad. He's about the same age. He's due to retire next year. He's way past the typical retirement age, but he was in the service before becoming a teacher, so he's just now getting his thirty years in.
We sit in amiable silence for a few minutes. Finally he says, "Are you really okay?"
I just shrug. I'm not okay. I'm not sure I'll be okay after this. At least not for a while.
"Um, I know that you and Robin were ... an item."
I turn and look at him, completely stunned. "How?"
"I'm observant. And my daughter works at the Classless Cafe."
"That was our favorite place to eat. We thought because it was a few towns away, no one would know us."
"One day, one of you must have been wearing a school shirt. My daughter asked me and I figured it out. But that's neither here nor there. I want to know if you are okay."
Finally, I'm able to speak. "This would be a hard situation just based on that. Add in the fact that Rob was having an affair with my sister and it gets a whole lot messier."
"Yeah, I would think that it would. I never pegged Robin for a two-woman kind of guy."
"You and me both."
"So, you didn't know?"
"Total shock."
"I guess it would be. Well, whatever you need, just let
"And to think, I was contemplating having her for my maid of honor."
"YOU WERE NOT!" Therese's voice rises about three octaves. "You take that back right now. You cannot be serious!"
I'm laughing, so Therese has come through for me, yet again. "No, not really, but it is certainly fun to get your panties in a twist."
With that, she disconnects and I get in the shower.
Walking into the funeral home with the other members of the social studies department, I take a deep breath and try not to pass out. The scent of flowers and candles and funeral home overwhelms me. Even though we're on the early side, the place is already packed. Great. I don't want to see people. I don't want to talk to anyone. I especially don't want to talk to Martha, the woman standing next to me. She teaches freshman social studies. She's already a blubbering mess. I try not to look at her. I can't watch someone cry without crying. I know I'm totally delusional to think I will get through tonight without crying.
"I can't believe he's gone. I can't believe this happened!" Martha's voice is a whisper. An Irish one. The elderly woman in front of us seems to crumple a bit as she begins crying. This only makes Martha cry more. She's sniffing and snorting, so I try to focus on that. "You know," sniff , "I always," sniff , "thought that you and," sniff sniff sniff , "Robin were together. I guess you were just close because he was engaged to your sister." And then she blows her nose, making a sound like a goose being strangled.
I'm going to throw up. I can't do this. I can't be here. I need air. I need to get out. I need ...
Black. Everything is black.
I hear the voices and then smell this terrible, terrible, awful smell that causes my eyes to fly open and water at the same time. I try to sit up but there are too many people around me. This is not helping.
"Sadie, are you okay?" It's my principal, John. I haven't seen him since the lingerie incident. I feel my face flushing even more, just thinking of that. I hear somebody say, "Look at how red she is! Should we call an ambulance?"
I succeed in sitting up this time. "I'm fine. I just need some air." I need not to have caused the death of a student and my boyfriend. I need my sister not to have been having an affair with said boyfriend. I need this not to be my life.
Someone hands me a paper cup of water and I down it. It helps. I could drink about forty more of those. "Okay, everyone. Why don't you go back into the viewing room. I'll stay with Sadie and make sure she's okay."
I would have said that John was the last person I would want to be with right now, but I appreciate his quiet command of the situation. In ways like that, he reminds me of my dad. He's about the same age. He's due to retire next year. He's way past the typical retirement age, but he was in the service before becoming a teacher, so he's just now getting his thirty years in.
We sit in amiable silence for a few minutes. Finally he says, "Are you really okay?"
I just shrug. I'm not okay. I'm not sure I'll be okay after this. At least not for a while.
"Um, I know that you and Robin were ... an item."
I turn and look at him, completely stunned. "How?"
"I'm observant. And my daughter works at the Classless Cafe."
"That was our favorite place to eat. We thought because it was a few towns away, no one would know us."
"One day, one of you must have been wearing a school shirt. My daughter asked me and I figured it out. But that's neither here nor there. I want to know if you are okay."
Finally, I'm able to speak. "This would be a hard situation just based on that. Add in the fact that Rob was having an affair with my sister and it gets a whole lot messier."
"Yeah, I would think that it would. I never pegged Robin for a two-woman kind of guy."
"You and me both."
"So, you didn't know?"
"Total shock."
"I guess it would be. Well, whatever you need, just let
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