it now, no way to keep his secret. “Mal is upset that I bedded you, but that isn’t the—I—damn it.” He couldn’t do it.
Now she simply seemed confused. “What could he possibly find more—” Her teeth snapped together. Her dark eyes widened. “No. I would know .”
“Would you?” he asked wearily. “Because I mated you, Kisri. Not on purpose—I wouldn’t have done that to you for the world—but it still happened.”
For an eternity she simply watched him, her eyes unreadable, her breathing ragged. The noises of the camp drifted on outside, soldiers making rounds, the wind tugging at the tent, fires crackling in a hundred tents as men prepared to return to their homes.
Finally, Kisri frowned. “Why would he be angry at you? You’re the one who will suffer if you return to your home without me. I can be mated again, unless I hold you in my heart. Or would I be the first of many, now that you have leisure to take mates?”
The thought ripped at his heart. “No,” he told her hoarsely. “No other mates.”
“Just you, on your estate.” A brittle edge filled her voice. Danger filled her eyes. “You intended to leave without telling me. To leave me bound to you until I realized what had happened.”
His own pain lent his voice a defensive tone. “Because you deserve better than an accidental mating with the first man to touch you.”
“You’re right,” she replied sharply. “I deserve a choice, and a man strong enough to face me. I was ready to—” The words cut off as she dug her teeth into her lip and looked away. “Well, it hardly matters. You’ve clearly decided what’s best for me.”
“Yes, I suppose I have.” More than anything, he was tired . “Better that you’ve discovered my cowardice now, Kisri. Run while you still can.”
She moved—fast—but not to run away. Instead she shoved the table aside, mindless of the plates that clattered to the floor or the wine that pooled on the carpet. She lunged at him and curled her hands around the back of his chair, as if she could trap him with her small body straddling his legs. “What are you so afraid of?”
Only the truth, if anything, could defuse her righteous anger. “I’m afraid of having you hate me.”
“Are you sure?” she whispered, her arms trembling on either side of his body. “Dismissing me, lying to me, abandoning me… Those are the things that would make me hate you.”
Against his will, he lifted his hands to her face. “At least then you’ll be rid of me. But I could not stand waking up every morning with the knowledge that I’d bound you to me, and that you despised me for trapping you.”
Kisri bared her teeth at him in an angry snarl. “Are you listening to what you’re saying? Or do lions truly think we’re helpless before you? Yes, you can mate us without our knowledge or will, but you can’t keep us . If I despised you, I wouldn’t be trapped. I’d be free to offer myself to another.”
“Would you have that freedom,” he asked, “if you weren’t the High Lord’s cousin?”
At least she paused to consider it, which was something, considering her arms still trembled under the force of her furious grip on the back of his chair. She worried at her lower lip as she studied his face, then shook her head once. “No. I imagine not.”
“Take your freedom now,” he urged quietly. She had to. A few more small steps, and she would be as irrevocably bound to him as he was to her. “Kisri.”
Instead she frowned at him. “You’ll never be free of me. Are you so afraid of having me hate you that you’d rather watch another man mate me, even if you’ll feel the loss in your soul forever?”
Ennon looked away. “You forget your cousin has a say in the matter, as well.”
This time she took his face between her hands and forced him to meet her gaze. “And on what grounds do you imagine he’ll object? Because he wishes to override my happiness for a more advantageous union? The
Now she simply seemed confused. “What could he possibly find more—” Her teeth snapped together. Her dark eyes widened. “No. I would know .”
“Would you?” he asked wearily. “Because I mated you, Kisri. Not on purpose—I wouldn’t have done that to you for the world—but it still happened.”
For an eternity she simply watched him, her eyes unreadable, her breathing ragged. The noises of the camp drifted on outside, soldiers making rounds, the wind tugging at the tent, fires crackling in a hundred tents as men prepared to return to their homes.
Finally, Kisri frowned. “Why would he be angry at you? You’re the one who will suffer if you return to your home without me. I can be mated again, unless I hold you in my heart. Or would I be the first of many, now that you have leisure to take mates?”
The thought ripped at his heart. “No,” he told her hoarsely. “No other mates.”
“Just you, on your estate.” A brittle edge filled her voice. Danger filled her eyes. “You intended to leave without telling me. To leave me bound to you until I realized what had happened.”
His own pain lent his voice a defensive tone. “Because you deserve better than an accidental mating with the first man to touch you.”
“You’re right,” she replied sharply. “I deserve a choice, and a man strong enough to face me. I was ready to—” The words cut off as she dug her teeth into her lip and looked away. “Well, it hardly matters. You’ve clearly decided what’s best for me.”
“Yes, I suppose I have.” More than anything, he was tired . “Better that you’ve discovered my cowardice now, Kisri. Run while you still can.”
She moved—fast—but not to run away. Instead she shoved the table aside, mindless of the plates that clattered to the floor or the wine that pooled on the carpet. She lunged at him and curled her hands around the back of his chair, as if she could trap him with her small body straddling his legs. “What are you so afraid of?”
Only the truth, if anything, could defuse her righteous anger. “I’m afraid of having you hate me.”
“Are you sure?” she whispered, her arms trembling on either side of his body. “Dismissing me, lying to me, abandoning me… Those are the things that would make me hate you.”
Against his will, he lifted his hands to her face. “At least then you’ll be rid of me. But I could not stand waking up every morning with the knowledge that I’d bound you to me, and that you despised me for trapping you.”
Kisri bared her teeth at him in an angry snarl. “Are you listening to what you’re saying? Or do lions truly think we’re helpless before you? Yes, you can mate us without our knowledge or will, but you can’t keep us . If I despised you, I wouldn’t be trapped. I’d be free to offer myself to another.”
“Would you have that freedom,” he asked, “if you weren’t the High Lord’s cousin?”
At least she paused to consider it, which was something, considering her arms still trembled under the force of her furious grip on the back of his chair. She worried at her lower lip as she studied his face, then shook her head once. “No. I imagine not.”
“Take your freedom now,” he urged quietly. She had to. A few more small steps, and she would be as irrevocably bound to him as he was to her. “Kisri.”
Instead she frowned at him. “You’ll never be free of me. Are you so afraid of having me hate you that you’d rather watch another man mate me, even if you’ll feel the loss in your soul forever?”
Ennon looked away. “You forget your cousin has a say in the matter, as well.”
This time she took his face between her hands and forced him to meet her gaze. “And on what grounds do you imagine he’ll object? Because he wishes to override my happiness for a more advantageous union? The
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