Knowing by Laurel Dewey Page A

I was so damn scared but ever since my operation, whenever I feel fear, it’s as if this powerful understanding jumps into my bloodstream and I ain’t afraid no more.” He worked hard to make sure he explained it correctly. “And all I got to do is just let it take me where I need to go and I know I’ll be okay. It’s like…a knowing…so deep that to ignore it is to ignore the air or the sky or the ground beneath you.”
    Jane recalled Lilith’s comment in the bus. “ I should have had a kno w ing …” Odd, that sync, Jane thought. “What happened?”
    “When they got me to the hospital, my lawyer said he was gonna check on somethin’ and that he’d be back soon. They put me in a windowless room with a bed and cupboards full of drugs and needles. An orderly took off my wrist and ankle cuffs and told me to strip and put on a gown. He left me alone but outside my door, was a cop standin’ guard. That’s when I tasted death again. But this time, it was a lot stronger. I was trapped. But somehow…somehow I just knew what to do. I blacked out and when I come back inside myself, I was holdin’ three syringes that somehow I’d filled up with this clear liquid. I don’t remember doin’ it and I didn’t know what I was supposed to do with them. But then I must have blacked out again because the next thing I remember is sittin’ back on the bed and holdin’ my bag on my lap. It felt heavier and when I looked inside, there were boxes of the anti-rejection drugs I take every day.” He shook his head in amazement. “Somehow, I just knew they were in the cupboard.” Harlan rubbed his head, the day suddenly catching up with him.
    “How in the hell did you get out of there without anybody seeing you?”
    “The doctor come in and brought the cop with him. That made no sense. My heart was beatin’ like a bongo drum jacked up on steroids. I looked at the cop and I realized he weren’t no cop. But he had a big ass gun and he brought it out of his holster and pointed it at my head—”
    “Wait a second!” Jane interrupted. “What’s the doctor doing during all this?”
    “Absolutely nothin’! Standin’ there calm as a cucumber, like he wasn’t surprised.”
    “This guy’s got a gun to your head and the doctor’s not making a move?”
    “ Yes, ma’am ! I ain’t makin’ this up! Like I said, I’ve had a bad mornin’!”
    Jane settled back down. “Then what?” she calmly asked.
    “I went all Kung Fu on them. I nailed the guy with the gun in the neck with one of the syringes. Then I did the same thing to the doc before he ever saw me comin’. They both went down but the fake cop with the gun kept stirrin’. I still had one needle left so it must have been meant for him. I nailed him in the neck again and he was out like midnight. I grabbed his gun and an extra clip I found on his belt, threw it into my bag, grabbed my shoes and ran out into the hallway. ‘Course, I’m wearin’ a hospital gown with my fat ass hangin’ out the back. So, I ducked into the first room I could find and it was full of lockers. I found an open locker and grabbed this sweatshirt, jacket and these drab drawstring pants. Couldn’t find underwear so I’m goin’ commando.”
    “Thanks for the heads up,” Jane offered. “I still don’t understand how you got out of there without anyone seeing you or any alarms going off.”
    Harlan stared off to the side. “It happens sometimes. Ever since—”
    “Your operation,” Jane interjected.
    “Exactly. From the moment I woke up from the anesthesia, I could feel this…this…” He struggled, trying to find the words. “Aw, hell. My words ain’t gonna make any sense.”
    “Just say whatever comes to mind.”
    “Thickness.”
    “Thickness?” Jane felt a shudder down her spine.
    “See? I told you my words wouldn’t—”
    “A muscular thickness,” Jane quickly injected.
    Harlan stared at her, stunned. “Yeah,” he whispered.
    Jane felt the same sentient