toward the
manor behind us.
Ace nudges me, and I lean against him,
letting some of my discomfort transfer to him. It's unfair, and I'm
not sure when it is I started depending so much on Ace for emotions
I don't know how to handle.
"I think you're asking me a question you
already know the answer to," I say quietly.
Conor's hand tightens on my cheek.
"Em, why didn't you tell anyone your control
was slipping? Will maybe? Deidra even? How long have you been
dealing with this?"
I want to push his hand away, but I
don't.
"It's not as simple as you think. Sometimes I
can't tell the difference between my emotions and someone else's.
Even if I had said something, no one could possibly
understand."
"Em," Conor says gently. "Did you even
try?"
I am suddenly angry, and Ace snarls next to
me. I have to push Conor's hand away and dig my fingers into Ace's
head to keep the beast from leaping.
"Don't! Don't do that! Most of my life
has been spent paranoid and afraid, all because I've fed off other
people's fears. Imagine that. Imagine spending every day afraid of
a new fear, a new phobia you have no control of. In a way, it was a
blessing to discover the fears weren't mine. but in other ways,
it's been a curse. A curse !
And it's painful, Conor. Truly painful."
My eyes bore into his as I step closer. There
is barely any space between us now. I can feel his breath on my
face, can see the gentle rise and fall of his chest.
"Heartache, Conor, is painful. Hatred is
painful. Love is painful. Jealousy is painful. Greed is painful.
It's all painful. Sometimes, it's possible to love or hate someone
so much, the heart can't stand any more. Imagine feeling that, but
then being forced to feel someone else's too when there is no more
room to put it."
There are still remnants of emotions in me,
residuals of the other hybrids, and they flare up. Aside from that,
my anger is strong, but so is the relief. The new feelings that had
taken root at the Acropolis are back now. I may not know Conor
well, but I like him. I trust him. I want to kiss him again. I want
to hit him. I want to hide.
I want him to understand!
And it's with this last thought that I place
my hand against his chest. And I let go. I have gotten used to
transferring emotions to Ace, but we are bound. I have never tried
it with a person.
Conor's eyes grow wide, his breathing deepens
and when he steps back, I know I've succeeded. His brow furrows,
his pupils dilate, and he clenches his fist against his stomach. I
step forward hesitantly.
"Conor?"
It was too much. I'm feeling calm, and
I know by the look in his eyes that he isn't. If I had been
mortified before, I am even more so now. I had wanted him to
understand, but I hadn't wanted him to feel everything .
I reach out toward him as his gaze finally
swings to mine.
"Conor?"
When my hand touches him, he steps away.
"God, Emma!"
It's all he says, but it's enough. I have to
swallow hard and even then the lump is still in my throat.
"I'm sorry."
I whisper it. I am being torn apart from the
inside out.
"I'm sorry," I repeat, but I'm pretty sure he
doesn't hear me.
Chapter 8
Conor
I have known a lot of girls, have
listened to them talk for hours, have been a shoulder for Dayton to
cry on. I have even sought comfort in their presence and embrace,
but if I thought any of that got me any closer to knowing anything
about them, I was dead wrong. What I'm feeling now is almost
disabling, the pain in my chest strong enough to bring any grown
man to his knees. So many emotions. Too many. There is no way to sort through them
all.
Opposite me, Emma stands calm.
"God, Emma!"
She reaches out to me, and I step back. The
hurt in her eyes is immediate, and I hate myself for it, but I
can't let her touch me. Not now. Not when I can help her.
Emma is mumbling now. I can barely make out
the apology as I look at the ground, my eyes narrowed. Her powers
are swirling inside of me, and I understand now why she hasn't
manor behind us.
Ace nudges me, and I lean against him,
letting some of my discomfort transfer to him. It's unfair, and I'm
not sure when it is I started depending so much on Ace for emotions
I don't know how to handle.
"I think you're asking me a question you
already know the answer to," I say quietly.
Conor's hand tightens on my cheek.
"Em, why didn't you tell anyone your control
was slipping? Will maybe? Deidra even? How long have you been
dealing with this?"
I want to push his hand away, but I
don't.
"It's not as simple as you think. Sometimes I
can't tell the difference between my emotions and someone else's.
Even if I had said something, no one could possibly
understand."
"Em," Conor says gently. "Did you even
try?"
I am suddenly angry, and Ace snarls next to
me. I have to push Conor's hand away and dig my fingers into Ace's
head to keep the beast from leaping.
"Don't! Don't do that! Most of my life
has been spent paranoid and afraid, all because I've fed off other
people's fears. Imagine that. Imagine spending every day afraid of
a new fear, a new phobia you have no control of. In a way, it was a
blessing to discover the fears weren't mine. but in other ways,
it's been a curse. A curse !
And it's painful, Conor. Truly painful."
My eyes bore into his as I step closer. There
is barely any space between us now. I can feel his breath on my
face, can see the gentle rise and fall of his chest.
"Heartache, Conor, is painful. Hatred is
painful. Love is painful. Jealousy is painful. Greed is painful.
It's all painful. Sometimes, it's possible to love or hate someone
so much, the heart can't stand any more. Imagine feeling that, but
then being forced to feel someone else's too when there is no more
room to put it."
There are still remnants of emotions in me,
residuals of the other hybrids, and they flare up. Aside from that,
my anger is strong, but so is the relief. The new feelings that had
taken root at the Acropolis are back now. I may not know Conor
well, but I like him. I trust him. I want to kiss him again. I want
to hit him. I want to hide.
I want him to understand!
And it's with this last thought that I place
my hand against his chest. And I let go. I have gotten used to
transferring emotions to Ace, but we are bound. I have never tried
it with a person.
Conor's eyes grow wide, his breathing deepens
and when he steps back, I know I've succeeded. His brow furrows,
his pupils dilate, and he clenches his fist against his stomach. I
step forward hesitantly.
"Conor?"
It was too much. I'm feeling calm, and
I know by the look in his eyes that he isn't. If I had been
mortified before, I am even more so now. I had wanted him to
understand, but I hadn't wanted him to feel everything .
I reach out toward him as his gaze finally
swings to mine.
"Conor?"
When my hand touches him, he steps away.
"God, Emma!"
It's all he says, but it's enough. I have to
swallow hard and even then the lump is still in my throat.
"I'm sorry."
I whisper it. I am being torn apart from the
inside out.
"I'm sorry," I repeat, but I'm pretty sure he
doesn't hear me.
Chapter 8
Conor
I have known a lot of girls, have
listened to them talk for hours, have been a shoulder for Dayton to
cry on. I have even sought comfort in their presence and embrace,
but if I thought any of that got me any closer to knowing anything
about them, I was dead wrong. What I'm feeling now is almost
disabling, the pain in my chest strong enough to bring any grown
man to his knees. So many emotions. Too many. There is no way to sort through them
all.
Opposite me, Emma stands calm.
"God, Emma!"
She reaches out to me, and I step back. The
hurt in her eyes is immediate, and I hate myself for it, but I
can't let her touch me. Not now. Not when I can help her.
Emma is mumbling now. I can barely make out
the apology as I look at the ground, my eyes narrowed. Her powers
are swirling inside of me, and I understand now why she hasn't
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