optimistic. Maybe he wasn’t as hot as Patrick Evans, but who was? I was sure Patrick was some superhuman, unreachable by mere mortals like me. He was on another planet, in another universe. Completely unattainable.
I knew he was still attracted to me — he was about as subtle as a car alarm — but I didn’t know if what he felt went deeper than that. The man was written in a language I didn’t understand. I thought I did through the things we didn’t have to say. But he was otherwise closed to me. I could see the pieces of him moving behind his eyes, but the meaning was lost on me. The attraction was the only thing that was simple. The only thing that made any sense.
And today, I felt better and worse about him. Last night marked the first real conversation between the two of us since we’d broken up.
Look, I get that it’s crazy. We hang out all the time. But I’d conditioned myself to ignore him, which I think might have made him crank the intensity. I don’t even think he knew he was doing it. He just looked like that. Lily called it resting smolder face.
I called it trouble.
My date was in a few hours, and I was still nervous. It was the kind of morning I’d usually find Lily and curl up in her lap like a cat so she could pet me, but Lily wasn’t here. So I shuffled out of the apartment and down the hall in my pajamas, knocking on the door in warning, opening it when I didn’t hear any protests.
“Lil?” I called.
“In here,” she said from the bedroom.
I closed the door and walked toward their room. “You decent?”
“For now,” West said, and Lily laughed.
“Don’t scare her away. Come in.”
I smiled when I walked into the room. They were stretched out in bed wearing pajamas even though it was ten, which might as well have been four in the afternoon to them.
“Aww, look at you bums,” I said, the words gooey and sweet.
West had a full-sized bed, and Lily scooted, shuffling West against the wall to make room for me. “Pile in, Rosie.”
I climbed in and slipped under the covers.
West propped up his head and smiled. “Maybe I’ll go make breakfast so you two can make out.”
I laughed. “What a gentleman.”
“Just be sure to give the nanny cam over there a good show, all right?” He made a show of it, angling his head to peer at his bookshelf, pointing in its direction.
We giggled, and West kissed Lily on the cheek and climbed out of bed, stretching his long body and twisting his dark hair up into a knot.
“Thanks, LumberWest,” I called. “I’ll have bacon and eggs, please.”
“You got it.” He winked and left the room.
Lily’s cheeks were rosy, her smile soft and sweet. She looked like a princess — wide, blue eyes, long blond hair, creamy skin. And I’d never seen her so happy, not in all the years I’d known her.
“I miss you.” It just slipped out — I hadn’t meant to get all sappy. But I couldn’t help it. I really did miss her, and was feeling sentimental. I might have also been PMSing, or as I sometimes called it, the Filter Deteriorator.
“I miss you too, Rosie.”
“I wish you’d been there last night when I got home. Tricky was sitting in the living room almost like he was waiting on me.”
She raised a brow. “Oh? How’d that go?”
I sighed as she moved back to West’s pillow, relinquishing hers to me. I gave it a solid punch to fluff it before settling in. “Well, I told him I had a date, which wasn’t weird at all.”
“That bad?”
“I mean, I guess it could have been worse. He asked me polite questions about it with his face like a statue or a robot or something. Then we talked for a little and went to bed.”
She rolled her eyes. “Boring.”
“You’re the worst. What do you expect us to do? Make out?”
“Just take off your clothes and parade your goodies around for him,” she said cheerily.
“I’d rather not have sex with my ex, Lil.” The words were as flat as my face.
She gave me a look.
My eyes
I knew he was still attracted to me — he was about as subtle as a car alarm — but I didn’t know if what he felt went deeper than that. The man was written in a language I didn’t understand. I thought I did through the things we didn’t have to say. But he was otherwise closed to me. I could see the pieces of him moving behind his eyes, but the meaning was lost on me. The attraction was the only thing that was simple. The only thing that made any sense.
And today, I felt better and worse about him. Last night marked the first real conversation between the two of us since we’d broken up.
Look, I get that it’s crazy. We hang out all the time. But I’d conditioned myself to ignore him, which I think might have made him crank the intensity. I don’t even think he knew he was doing it. He just looked like that. Lily called it resting smolder face.
I called it trouble.
My date was in a few hours, and I was still nervous. It was the kind of morning I’d usually find Lily and curl up in her lap like a cat so she could pet me, but Lily wasn’t here. So I shuffled out of the apartment and down the hall in my pajamas, knocking on the door in warning, opening it when I didn’t hear any protests.
“Lil?” I called.
“In here,” she said from the bedroom.
I closed the door and walked toward their room. “You decent?”
“For now,” West said, and Lily laughed.
“Don’t scare her away. Come in.”
I smiled when I walked into the room. They were stretched out in bed wearing pajamas even though it was ten, which might as well have been four in the afternoon to them.
“Aww, look at you bums,” I said, the words gooey and sweet.
West had a full-sized bed, and Lily scooted, shuffling West against the wall to make room for me. “Pile in, Rosie.”
I climbed in and slipped under the covers.
West propped up his head and smiled. “Maybe I’ll go make breakfast so you two can make out.”
I laughed. “What a gentleman.”
“Just be sure to give the nanny cam over there a good show, all right?” He made a show of it, angling his head to peer at his bookshelf, pointing in its direction.
We giggled, and West kissed Lily on the cheek and climbed out of bed, stretching his long body and twisting his dark hair up into a knot.
“Thanks, LumberWest,” I called. “I’ll have bacon and eggs, please.”
“You got it.” He winked and left the room.
Lily’s cheeks were rosy, her smile soft and sweet. She looked like a princess — wide, blue eyes, long blond hair, creamy skin. And I’d never seen her so happy, not in all the years I’d known her.
“I miss you.” It just slipped out — I hadn’t meant to get all sappy. But I couldn’t help it. I really did miss her, and was feeling sentimental. I might have also been PMSing, or as I sometimes called it, the Filter Deteriorator.
“I miss you too, Rosie.”
“I wish you’d been there last night when I got home. Tricky was sitting in the living room almost like he was waiting on me.”
She raised a brow. “Oh? How’d that go?”
I sighed as she moved back to West’s pillow, relinquishing hers to me. I gave it a solid punch to fluff it before settling in. “Well, I told him I had a date, which wasn’t weird at all.”
“That bad?”
“I mean, I guess it could have been worse. He asked me polite questions about it with his face like a statue or a robot or something. Then we talked for a little and went to bed.”
She rolled her eyes. “Boring.”
“You’re the worst. What do you expect us to do? Make out?”
“Just take off your clothes and parade your goodies around for him,” she said cheerily.
“I’d rather not have sex with my ex, Lil.” The words were as flat as my face.
She gave me a look.
My eyes
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