Letters at Christmas by Amber Lin Page A

was a shop girl when he found her. He was already married. But she fell in love and happily became his mistress. She remained in that position through my childhood. I remember seeing a tall, forbidding man come to the front door. I was supposed to stay in the kitchen.”
    Sidony’s eyes were wide and dark with pain. Only then did he realize he was squeezing her hands tightly. Releasing her, he paced away, running a hand through his hair.
    This was harder than he’d thought it would be. Not because she would judge him, though she could and no one would blame her—least of all him. But because she was a mirror, those crystal eyes reflecting back at him. His uncertainty as a child, the taunts from other children who knew what his mother was before he did. And then later…
    He forced the words out. “I sometimes think he must have loved her, too, to keep her for so long. She was well past youth when his fortunes turned. And then he couldn’t afford to keep her at all. By the end, we lived in a single, dirty room. She was ill, and there was no money for a doctor or food. Even when she was coughing, dying , she was waiting for him.”
    “Oh, Hale. I’m so sorry. That’s awful.”
    “When she died, I was so angry. Furious. I went to my father, expecting to… Hell, I wasn’t sure what I expected. To fight him, maybe. To challenge him, even though that was ridiculous.”
    “Not ridiculous,” she said softly. “To defend your mother’s honor.”
    “Well, he was a sick old man by then,” Hale said grimly. “On his own deathbed, though he’d brought that one on himself. He cried when I told him she had died.” He shook his head at the memory.
    “I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t kill him.”
    “No, of course not,” she said soothingly, and he thought she might agree to anything he said now. She was humoring him, which meant he must be worse off than he thought.
    “Then he offered to send me to school. I figured—why not? I would use his money to get an education.” A hollow laugh. “I had no better prospects. And there I met Geoffrey.” And then you.
    “I’m so glad you did, Hale. You excelled at school, and now as well, as a captain and businessman. Your mother would be so proud.”
    “She was loyal to the end. She would say it was his blood that made me successful.” He smiled ruefully. “And since I only had the opportunity to gain an education due to his money, I suppose she’s right.”
    “No, you earned everything you have now. You could have stayed and tried to use your connection with Geoffrey to give you an easy position. Instead, you forged your own path. A much more difficult one.”
    He returned to her side, tucking a curl behind her ear. “You see why I had to do it. To support us, yes. And to procure your brother’s blessing when I asked for your hand. But it was more than that. I had seen the devotion of a woman in love… my mother loved him to her death. I couldn’t…I couldn’t watch you—”
    “I understand. You didn’t trust yourself.”
    He frowned. No, he hadn’t meant that. He couldn’t have watched her pine and love a man unworthy of her. He couldn’t have watched her suffer poverty and hardship in the name of love.
    She smiled gently. “You didn’t want to be your father. Well, you’re not. You’re a strong, kind-hearted man. That’s who I fell in love with, Hale.”
    His insides felt jagged, his throat raw. Was she right? Had he proved to himself that he wasn’t his father? Relief was a salve to his wounds. Yes, he had. Partly that. But building a future with Sidony took more than earning money and position. It also took letting go of the past.
    Her expression was so open. So honest and strong. Why had he seen loving her as a weakness? She was so brave.
    Pulling her close, he pressed his mouth against hers, knowing he was too rough, too hard—knowing she could take it. She opened her mouth to him, letting him in, body and soul. He felt the communion in