Letters From The Ledge by Lynda Meyers Page A

to say ‘thank you’."
    "And now you have."
    Her hands went to her hips.
    “Pout much?”
    She looked horrified. "You know what? I thought maybe you were different. Turns out I was wrong."
    He looked back at her with cold eyes. "Yeah? Well, get used to it. It turns out we were all wrong. About pretty much everything."
    "What’s that supposed to mean?"
    "You know what? Why don’t you go back to your preppy friends, ok? You tried slumming and you got what you needed. Now leave me alone."
    "Slumming? Right. You with your hundred dollar jeans and Eddie Bauer backpack. You’re not fooling anyone wearing the same shirt every day but still smelling like Downy, you know that? Besides, I didn’t ask for your help. You’re the one who offered, remember?"
    Brendan kept silent.
    "You’re really smart, you know? You could be anything! Why are you wasting your life?"
    "Go-a-way!"
    "Who did this to you?"
    "Did what?"
    "Made you hate yourself so much?"
    "You don’t know shit."
    Sarah just nodded. "You’re right. I don’t know shit. I guess we have that in common." She started to walk away but stopped and turned. "Thanks for your help."
    Brendan leaned his head back and closed his eyes, switching the music back into play mode. Screamo lyrics filled his head and everything else faded away, until Tommy shoved his shoulder.
    “Dude, how wasted are you? I’ve been calling your cell for like, the last twenty minutes!”
    Brendan turned off the music and sat up. He looked down at Tommy’s lap. Tommy looked too. They were both silent. Brendan couldn’t swallow, suddenly afflicted with a wicked case of dry mouth.
    Finally Tommy spoke. “Listen, I know it’s been almost a year, but my mom’s still a mess. She won’t even go in Tess’s room, but I spend a lot of time in there when she’s not around. She was my big sister, and I–I loved her. Being in her room makes me feel like she’s still around somehow. Is that weird?”
    Brendan shook his head.
    “Anyway, I know she didn’t leave a note, but I still think she knew what she was doing. I found this box under her bed.”
    Brendan looked down at the large, square box and his eyes glassed over. It was beautiful. Typical Tess. She’d drawn intricate pictures all over the top of the box and hidden words and symbols within the drawing, then colored it all over and sprayed the top with a clear coat. It was a work of art. The only thing that marred the top of the box was a small rectangle where it looked like a piece of tape had been torn away.
    Tommy rubbed his thumb over the tear. “There was a letter attached to the top of the box. I thought maybe it was her note, so I read it, but it was to you.”
    He was holding the opened envelope in his hands, sliding its length back and forth through his delicate, freckled fingers. Finally he handed it to Brendan, and then set the box in his lap as well. “The box is for you too. She wanted you to have it. My mom would kill me if she knew I gave this away but she doesn’t know it exists yet and…I think that’s what Tess would have wanted.”
    Brendan stared at the box for a long time. It felt like a lead weight on his legs, and he couldn’t tell if its mass was real or imagined. Tommy got up and started to walk away, then turned and stopped. Brendan looked up at him, willing back the tears with everything in him. Tommy was already crying.
    “I really miss her, you know?”
    Brendan swallowed hard and nodded.
    “She may have hated her life, but she loved you Brendan. She did. You’ll see.”
    Tommy turned back around and walked away. Brendan wiped a hand across his face and shifted several times on the bench, trying desperately not to come completely out of his skin. He couldn’t open the letter. Or the box. He had to get home.
     
     
     
     

CHAPTER FIVE
     
    “I’d rather sell my nuts to a castrati.”
    - Life As A House
     
     
     
    Where r u? Did u
    forget dinner?
    Why don’t u
    answer your phone?
    Love, Nate
     
    Paige