Life Is What You Make It A Story Of Love, Hope And How Determination Can Overcome Even Destiny by Preeti Shenoy Page B
Authors: Preeti Shenoy
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shoulder. There was so much going on inside my head. I felt strangely connected to Abhi. He made no attempt to move or to remove his hand. Finally, when it began getting dark, I said that I must go home otherwise my parents might get worried.
Something in me changed that day, with the visit. I wasn't sure what it was. There were no words to describe it. I wanted to tell it all to Suvi.
But not right away. I needed time to clear my own thoughts which were still whirling inside my head, as I fell asleep that night. It was the first time in ages that someone other than Vaibhav had dominated my thoughts.
6
The needle swings
S uvi could not wait to hear all about my visit to Abhi's place. She dragged me off to a secluded spot in the building that housed the college auditorium.
“You little minx. You slept with him. You lost your virginity! Didn't you? ” she shrieked.
“Of course not! We only held hands,” my indignant words were out even before I realised it.
“Ah ha! AH HA! Miss Ankita Sharma . If anybody can get you to open up and trap you to admit facts it is only me!” She looked as though she had won a prize at a fair where you try your chances in a game of luck.
I asked her to shut up and narrated in detail every single thing that had happened, ever since I went to his home.
She let out a whistle when I completed. Then she said “You should have at least kissed him.”
“You and your dumb ideas! You're a trollop and that is all you can think of.”
I was annoyed with her for not offering a salve to my guilt. She was only looking at it as an opportunity to get physical with a guy. A perfect opportunity that had been handed to me on a platter, which in her books, I had missed. I walked off angrily and she trailed behind me.
“Hey, relax. I was only teasing you,” she said. “But look at you. You're behaving as though you actually slept with him.”
“Look, I am beginning to like him a lot more than I intended to. I have no idea what to do. And what do I tell Vaibhav?” I asked.
“How do you know your sweet Vaibhav hasn't met someone there? You think he is telling you everything? For God's sake Ankita, it is not as though you are married to Vaibhav. Things happen. People change. Before I met Ravi, I liked Suresh. And all this virginity business is really no big deal. You do it and it's done.”
I knew she had a sex life but this was the first time she was talking about it.
“Weren't you scared the first time? “ I asked her. I wished I could be as nonchalant as her. I wished things didn't bother me so much.
“Well, not exactly scared, because I knew what I was doing. I was more worried about whether he had put on the condom right. And I was more worried about getting pregnant.”
“And how did you know that Suresh was the one?” I asked.
“My sweet, Anks, which century are you living in? Don't tell me you are saving your virginity to gift it on a platter to the guy you will marry,” she said.
I was.
So I said nothing. I think she understood.
“Look,” she said, “I had decided to do it and I did it. That was all. It did not matter with whom. But things didn't work out with Suresh. Then Ravi came along. And even now it is not as if Ravi and I are a couple. I do understand what you're feeling, babe, trust me I have been there. I know. ”
I felt a lot better after her assurance. I was a little in awe of her too. I had miles to go in that department. Here I was, feeling guilty for having spent time alone with a guy. It wasn't as if we had kissed or even got physical. But somehow I knew at that moment, that a barrier between him and me had been broken and I would go further the next time. I wasn't comfortable thinking about it, so I dealt with it in the manner I knew best. I pushed it aside.
As months passed, I discovered that being an office bearer meant a mad whirl wind of selections, competitions, trials, organising transport and the best part of it all—bringing home the
Something in me changed that day, with the visit. I wasn't sure what it was. There were no words to describe it. I wanted to tell it all to Suvi.
But not right away. I needed time to clear my own thoughts which were still whirling inside my head, as I fell asleep that night. It was the first time in ages that someone other than Vaibhav had dominated my thoughts.
6
The needle swings
S uvi could not wait to hear all about my visit to Abhi's place. She dragged me off to a secluded spot in the building that housed the college auditorium.
“You little minx. You slept with him. You lost your virginity! Didn't you? ” she shrieked.
“Of course not! We only held hands,” my indignant words were out even before I realised it.
“Ah ha! AH HA! Miss Ankita Sharma . If anybody can get you to open up and trap you to admit facts it is only me!” She looked as though she had won a prize at a fair where you try your chances in a game of luck.
I asked her to shut up and narrated in detail every single thing that had happened, ever since I went to his home.
She let out a whistle when I completed. Then she said “You should have at least kissed him.”
“You and your dumb ideas! You're a trollop and that is all you can think of.”
I was annoyed with her for not offering a salve to my guilt. She was only looking at it as an opportunity to get physical with a guy. A perfect opportunity that had been handed to me on a platter, which in her books, I had missed. I walked off angrily and she trailed behind me.
“Hey, relax. I was only teasing you,” she said. “But look at you. You're behaving as though you actually slept with him.”
“Look, I am beginning to like him a lot more than I intended to. I have no idea what to do. And what do I tell Vaibhav?” I asked.
“How do you know your sweet Vaibhav hasn't met someone there? You think he is telling you everything? For God's sake Ankita, it is not as though you are married to Vaibhav. Things happen. People change. Before I met Ravi, I liked Suresh. And all this virginity business is really no big deal. You do it and it's done.”
I knew she had a sex life but this was the first time she was talking about it.
“Weren't you scared the first time? “ I asked her. I wished I could be as nonchalant as her. I wished things didn't bother me so much.
“Well, not exactly scared, because I knew what I was doing. I was more worried about whether he had put on the condom right. And I was more worried about getting pregnant.”
“And how did you know that Suresh was the one?” I asked.
“My sweet, Anks, which century are you living in? Don't tell me you are saving your virginity to gift it on a platter to the guy you will marry,” she said.
I was.
So I said nothing. I think she understood.
“Look,” she said, “I had decided to do it and I did it. That was all. It did not matter with whom. But things didn't work out with Suresh. Then Ravi came along. And even now it is not as if Ravi and I are a couple. I do understand what you're feeling, babe, trust me I have been there. I know. ”
I felt a lot better after her assurance. I was a little in awe of her too. I had miles to go in that department. Here I was, feeling guilty for having spent time alone with a guy. It wasn't as if we had kissed or even got physical. But somehow I knew at that moment, that a barrier between him and me had been broken and I would go further the next time. I wasn't comfortable thinking about it, so I dealt with it in the manner I knew best. I pushed it aside.
As months passed, I discovered that being an office bearer meant a mad whirl wind of selections, competitions, trials, organising transport and the best part of it all—bringing home the
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