Life Its Ownself by Dan Jenkins Page B

about the medial collateral. She had seemed to understand that a football player would rather surrender a lung or an eye than a knee ligament. I wasn't one of those athletes who thought his body was a temple, but I'd keep myself in good condition the year round to avoid injuries.
    "I'm out for the season, Barb."
    There was a pause. Then she said:
    "Aw, babe, I'm sorry. I know it must kill you, but, hey, all is not lost! You're a cinch to wind up on TV!"
    "That makes three."
    "Three what?"
    "You're the third person tonight who's said I'm going to be on television."
    "You'll be terrific. Just talk natural. Be you. Say all the things you say in bars, only leave out the fucks and shits."
    "I'd rather play football."
    "Babe, I know how much you love the game, but think about it. We're getting more mature, aren't we? This is a blessing! Now you have to find another career. You should go with CBS, even if the money's less than NBC's offer. CBS has higher ratings. ABC might be interested, but I doubt it. They've already got more announcers than events."
    "Is this what mature people talk about? Television?"
    Another pause.
    "Do you hurt much?" she asked.
    "Yeah."
    "Poor babe."
    "They're gonna cut on me tomorrow. Tie stuff back together. I'll be in a cast for four or five weeks, who the hell knows."
    "I'll take the red-eye tomorrow night after rehearsal. I can spend a whole day with you. They won't mind me taking a day off. I mean, they will mind, but they'll understand."
    "Don't bother to do that, Barb."
    "I want to be with you."
    "One day won't make any difference. I'm fine."
    "Sweetheart, I'd stay longer—you know how much I want to be there—but an awful lot of people are counting on me out here. I can't let them down."
    "Stay there, please."
    "You mean it?"
    The honest answer was no.
    I said, "I wouldn't want to make a bunch of Hollywood guys so mad, they'd beat me to death with their pendants."
    There had been a tenderness in Barbara Jane's voice but now it had vanished.
    "Come on B. C., you're not being fair! We're talking about a football knee, not a heart transplant ... a kidney removal!"
    "Football knees are worse, if you play football for a living. I'm serious about you staying out there."
    "I'm coming to New York."
    "No!"
    Not for only a day, I was thinking.
    She said, "Okay, I know you feel rotten. You've blown the season. And I know you're worried. You're thinking it's curtains for Old Twenty-three if the knee doesn't mend. I know you're in pain. I'm sorry for all that, I really am, but, sweetheart, give this some thought: this show has a chance to make a big difference in our lives."
    "How?"
    "You mean aside from money, fame, and fortune?"
    "We have that."
    "Major money, B.C. If the show clicks, we can buy our own football team! What do you want to call them?"
    "What about the Hollywood Pendants?"
    "The new script came in yesterday," she said. "It's better than the others. It's not Mary Tyler Moore , but... it has charm. That's what everybody said today. Tomorrow they'll call it a piece of shit, but I have to hang in, don't I? Is it my fault the dippy network wants to spend a billion dollars to get a pilot they can fondle? Anyhow, I'm not a quitter."
    Nobody was asking her to quit. I had only thought she would want to come back to New York and baby-sit me in my hour of need.
    But just then, I only grunted, or sighed, whatever.
    And she said, "If it were urgent, I'd be there and you know it! You're trying to make me feel guilty."
    "You are guilty."
    "I'll call you every hour. Well, every two or three hours. It depends on rehearsals."
    "There must be more to showbiz than rehearsing. Don't you get to go to a lot of those 'in' restaurants where they invented trout pizza?"
    "I love you," she said.
    "Isn't there a lot of talk about heightening the dynamics of the storyline?"
    "It'll be great to have you out here—even on crutches."
    "Can I tour a studio?"
    "I want you here as soon as you can travel. God knows how long I'll