in my current medical condition, that was going to
be difficult if not impossible, but I figured if I was gone, he’d leave them
alone and come searching for me. I wasn’t a martyr. I just felt horrible for
dragging my two best friends into my mess.
But Jason—well, I couldn’t abandon him and all his efforts
to save me. So, as they planned our escape in the other room, I slipped into
bed. I wasn’t asleep when Jace came back into the room. I was curled up in my
protective ball, thinking. When he didn’t climb into bed with me, my heart
sank. I was feeling lost and vulnerable, and I wanted him to wrap his arms
around me and make me feel safe like he always had. I felt the tears slide
down the side of my face as I held in every sound so Jason wouldn’t hear me.
I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew,
Jason was calling my name, telling me to wake up. “We need to leave. Our car
will be here any minute to take us to the airport.” His words only took a
second to sink in. I bolted straight up and stared at his face.
“Oh, crap. Yeah. Okay. Let me just throw on some clothes
and brush my teeth.” I went to get up out of the bed but moved too quickly,
and the pain in my side reminded me that my broken ribs were not even close to
being healed. My stomach felt nauseous and my head got a bit “swimmy,” sending
my ass back to the edge of the bed. “Damn it,” I muttered.
“Stop.” Jason wrapped his arms around me and kissed my
forehead as he pulled me to him. I didn’t fight. I couldn’t. I was too
dizzy. “You need to remember you’re injured and not move so fast.” He paused.
“I’m so sorry, Legs.” The grief in his voice was more than I could take. I
needed space, so I forced myself to push him away.
“I’m okay. Give me five minutes.” Even with as much pain
as I was in, I stood and walked away toward the bathroom. I stared down at the
floor, watching my feet to keep my head straight as I walked. I didn’t want
his pity. I wanted his help. That was all.
Just as I reached the threshold of the bathroom door, Jason’s
arms gently circled my waist, stop-ping me. “Don’t you dare try that shit on
me. I know you better than you know yourself. I know when you’re in pain,
when you feel sick, even when you’re trying not to cry. So don’t you dare
insult me by pretending.” His body was stiff and full of tension even as he
tried to soften his words. “It’s me, baby,” he whispered in my ear. “Now tell
me what’s going on in that head of yours.”
I leaned my head back on his shoulder and sighed. “I don’t
want pity, Jace. Not from you, okay?”
“Is that what you think? Really?” He slowly turned me to
face him, but I didn’t look into his eyes. So he used one hand to tilt my chin
up, forcing me to look him in the eye. “I feel guilty as hell. I feel like I
failed you, Legs. What you see or feel or hear from me is not pity. It’s
remorse and pain.”
I didn’t believe him but chose not to fight about it at that
moment. Instead, I gave Jason a small smile and leaned in for a hug. “Thank
you. I need to get dressed.” I pulled back out of his grasp and watched as
his eyes narrowed in suspicion.
“Ignoring me, huh? Don’t believe me?” His playful tone was
a mask. He was pissed at me.
“Go away. I need to change.” I smiled bigger, hoping he’d
just let it go.
Jason stepped close, grabbed my face in his hands, and with
a set mouth and determined stare, said, “This conversation is not over. Don’t
do this. Don’t make up excuses to push me away. I won’t let you.” He kissed
the end of my nose and walked out of the bedroom. He was infuriating at times,
but God did I love how he could read me, knew my heart like he knew his own.
I stepped out of the bedroom, dressed in yoga pants and a
fitted, light pink tee shirt.
be difficult if not impossible, but I figured if I was gone, he’d leave them
alone and come searching for me. I wasn’t a martyr. I just felt horrible for
dragging my two best friends into my mess.
But Jason—well, I couldn’t abandon him and all his efforts
to save me. So, as they planned our escape in the other room, I slipped into
bed. I wasn’t asleep when Jace came back into the room. I was curled up in my
protective ball, thinking. When he didn’t climb into bed with me, my heart
sank. I was feeling lost and vulnerable, and I wanted him to wrap his arms
around me and make me feel safe like he always had. I felt the tears slide
down the side of my face as I held in every sound so Jason wouldn’t hear me.
I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew,
Jason was calling my name, telling me to wake up. “We need to leave. Our car
will be here any minute to take us to the airport.” His words only took a
second to sink in. I bolted straight up and stared at his face.
“Oh, crap. Yeah. Okay. Let me just throw on some clothes
and brush my teeth.” I went to get up out of the bed but moved too quickly,
and the pain in my side reminded me that my broken ribs were not even close to
being healed. My stomach felt nauseous and my head got a bit “swimmy,” sending
my ass back to the edge of the bed. “Damn it,” I muttered.
“Stop.” Jason wrapped his arms around me and kissed my
forehead as he pulled me to him. I didn’t fight. I couldn’t. I was too
dizzy. “You need to remember you’re injured and not move so fast.” He paused.
“I’m so sorry, Legs.” The grief in his voice was more than I could take. I
needed space, so I forced myself to push him away.
“I’m okay. Give me five minutes.” Even with as much pain
as I was in, I stood and walked away toward the bathroom. I stared down at the
floor, watching my feet to keep my head straight as I walked. I didn’t want
his pity. I wanted his help. That was all.
Just as I reached the threshold of the bathroom door, Jason’s
arms gently circled my waist, stop-ping me. “Don’t you dare try that shit on
me. I know you better than you know yourself. I know when you’re in pain,
when you feel sick, even when you’re trying not to cry. So don’t you dare
insult me by pretending.” His body was stiff and full of tension even as he
tried to soften his words. “It’s me, baby,” he whispered in my ear. “Now tell
me what’s going on in that head of yours.”
I leaned my head back on his shoulder and sighed. “I don’t
want pity, Jace. Not from you, okay?”
“Is that what you think? Really?” He slowly turned me to
face him, but I didn’t look into his eyes. So he used one hand to tilt my chin
up, forcing me to look him in the eye. “I feel guilty as hell. I feel like I
failed you, Legs. What you see or feel or hear from me is not pity. It’s
remorse and pain.”
I didn’t believe him but chose not to fight about it at that
moment. Instead, I gave Jason a small smile and leaned in for a hug. “Thank
you. I need to get dressed.” I pulled back out of his grasp and watched as
his eyes narrowed in suspicion.
“Ignoring me, huh? Don’t believe me?” His playful tone was
a mask. He was pissed at me.
“Go away. I need to change.” I smiled bigger, hoping he’d
just let it go.
Jason stepped close, grabbed my face in his hands, and with
a set mouth and determined stare, said, “This conversation is not over. Don’t
do this. Don’t make up excuses to push me away. I won’t let you.” He kissed
the end of my nose and walked out of the bedroom. He was infuriating at times,
but God did I love how he could read me, knew my heart like he knew his own.
I stepped out of the bedroom, dressed in yoga pants and a
fitted, light pink tee shirt.
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