children who can’t speak my language only have to see me to know that I have overcome many challenges. My lessons, they know, did not come easily.
WISDOM BORN OF EXPERIENCE
When I tell my audiences to hold on for better days, I speak from experience. You can believe and trust in what I say because I have been there. At one point in my life I gave up hope.
This low point in my mostly happy childhood came around the age of ten, when negative thoughts overwhelmed me. No matter how optimistic and determined and inventive I tried to be, there were some tasks I just could not do. Some of them were simple, everyday activities. It really bothered me, for example, that I couldn’t grab a soda out of the refrigerator like every other kid. I couldn’t feed myself, and I hated to ask other people to do it. I felt bad that they had to interrupt their meals to help me.
Other, bigger issues haunted me in this period of my life:
Would I ever find a wife to love me? How would I provide for her and our children? How could I protect them if they were threatened?
Most people have such thoughts. You probably have wondered at some point whether you would ever have a lasting relationship, a secure job, or a safe place to live. It is normal and healthy to look ahead because that is how we develop a vision for our lives. The problem comes when negative thoughts block your vision for the future and cloud your mind. I pray and I remind myself of the word of God, who helps me know that He is with me. He never leaves me. He hasn’t forgotten me. He will cause even the worst things to come together for the good. I remind myself to hold on to the promisesof God, no matter what I see on the outside. I know that God is good. If He allows something bad to happen, I may not understand, but I can hold on to His goodness.
MONITOR YOUR THOUGHTS
As my eleventh birthday approached, I entered the tricky adolescent stage when our brains rewire and strange chemicals flow through out bodies. Other boys and girls my age were starting to pair up, which added to my growing sense of alienation.
Would any girl ever want a boyfriend who couldn’t hold her hand or dance with her?
Without even being aware of it, I allowed those dark thoughts and negative feelings to burden my spirit with growing frequency. Often they came creeping into my mind late at night when I couldn’t sleep, or when I was tired after a long day at school. You know the feeling; you are so weary and out of sorts that the whole world seems to be weighing on your shoulders. We all experience down times, especially when lack of sleep, illness, and other challenges make us vulnerable.
No one is happy and perky one hundred percent of the time. Your more somber moods are natural. They serve a purpose too. According to recent psychological studies, a darker mood can make you look at your work more critically and analytically. That outlook is helpful when you are involved in tasks like balancing your checkbook, figuring out your taxes, or editing a paper. As long as you are aware and in control of your emotions, negative thoughts can produce positive consequences. Only when you let your emotions control your actions do you risk spiraling down into depression and self-destructive behaviors.
The key is to refuse to be overwhelmed or swept away by negative emotions or feelings of depression. Fortunately, you have thatpower to adjust your attitude. When you detect negative thoughts running through your mind, you can choose to hit the “off” switch. Acknowledge them and understand their source, but stay focused on the solutions instead of on the problems. I remember from Bible class a picture of the “whole armor of God” with the breastplate of righteousness, the belt of truth, the shield of faith, the sword of the Spirit, and the helmet of salvation. I’d learned that those were all the weapons that a Christian boy would ever need. I see the word of God as a sword to fight negative thoughts. The
WISDOM BORN OF EXPERIENCE
When I tell my audiences to hold on for better days, I speak from experience. You can believe and trust in what I say because I have been there. At one point in my life I gave up hope.
This low point in my mostly happy childhood came around the age of ten, when negative thoughts overwhelmed me. No matter how optimistic and determined and inventive I tried to be, there were some tasks I just could not do. Some of them were simple, everyday activities. It really bothered me, for example, that I couldn’t grab a soda out of the refrigerator like every other kid. I couldn’t feed myself, and I hated to ask other people to do it. I felt bad that they had to interrupt their meals to help me.
Other, bigger issues haunted me in this period of my life:
Would I ever find a wife to love me? How would I provide for her and our children? How could I protect them if they were threatened?
Most people have such thoughts. You probably have wondered at some point whether you would ever have a lasting relationship, a secure job, or a safe place to live. It is normal and healthy to look ahead because that is how we develop a vision for our lives. The problem comes when negative thoughts block your vision for the future and cloud your mind. I pray and I remind myself of the word of God, who helps me know that He is with me. He never leaves me. He hasn’t forgotten me. He will cause even the worst things to come together for the good. I remind myself to hold on to the promisesof God, no matter what I see on the outside. I know that God is good. If He allows something bad to happen, I may not understand, but I can hold on to His goodness.
MONITOR YOUR THOUGHTS
As my eleventh birthday approached, I entered the tricky adolescent stage when our brains rewire and strange chemicals flow through out bodies. Other boys and girls my age were starting to pair up, which added to my growing sense of alienation.
Would any girl ever want a boyfriend who couldn’t hold her hand or dance with her?
Without even being aware of it, I allowed those dark thoughts and negative feelings to burden my spirit with growing frequency. Often they came creeping into my mind late at night when I couldn’t sleep, or when I was tired after a long day at school. You know the feeling; you are so weary and out of sorts that the whole world seems to be weighing on your shoulders. We all experience down times, especially when lack of sleep, illness, and other challenges make us vulnerable.
No one is happy and perky one hundred percent of the time. Your more somber moods are natural. They serve a purpose too. According to recent psychological studies, a darker mood can make you look at your work more critically and analytically. That outlook is helpful when you are involved in tasks like balancing your checkbook, figuring out your taxes, or editing a paper. As long as you are aware and in control of your emotions, negative thoughts can produce positive consequences. Only when you let your emotions control your actions do you risk spiraling down into depression and self-destructive behaviors.
The key is to refuse to be overwhelmed or swept away by negative emotions or feelings of depression. Fortunately, you have thatpower to adjust your attitude. When you detect negative thoughts running through your mind, you can choose to hit the “off” switch. Acknowledge them and understand their source, but stay focused on the solutions instead of on the problems. I remember from Bible class a picture of the “whole armor of God” with the breastplate of righteousness, the belt of truth, the shield of faith, the sword of the Spirit, and the helmet of salvation. I’d learned that those were all the weapons that a Christian boy would ever need. I see the word of God as a sword to fight negative thoughts. The
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