LifeoftheParty by Trudy Doyle Page B

sighed with what she hoped
wasn’t relief. “Baby,” he said softly, “you want me to tell you again? I love
you. And our baby.”
    “ Don’t ,” she hissed, “say that.”
    “What?” He looked truly mystified. “Say what?”
    Her chest tightened. She didn’t know how much longer she
could stand it. Gina felt the bile rising in her throat, a mix of hormones and
anger and impatience for her heart to hurry up and finish breaking, so she
could get on with whatever was left of her suitably now miserable life. But
what was worse was that hers wouldn’t be the only heart she’d be breaking, but
also this man’s whom she’d surely die for. But she also knew it couldn’t go any
other way.
    “I’m not keeping this pregnancy,” she finally said.
    His eyes narrowed in disbelief. “You can’t be serious.”
    She had never been more. Her heart hammered, she felt dizzy,
her legs threatened to buckle. But she had to hold her ground. There is no
alternative. She was resigned. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
    He gripped her shoulders. “Gina, please, don’t do this. Please don’t do this.” He pulled her toward him, clutching her so tightly the breath
caught in her lungs. “Tell me what you want from me, but please don’t do this.”
    She closed her eyes against their stinging, his heart
pounding against her cheek, his scent dizzying her thinking. “Doug, you have to
stop. Trust me when I say I would keep it if I could, but I just can’t.”
    “Why?” he said softly. “Because of me?”
    “No, no, no. Of course not.” She brushed her hand down his
chest . Lie. Lie. Lie. “If anything, I don’t deserve you. But I’m not
ready for this. I just can’t do it.”
    He kissed the top of her head, each cheek, her forehead, his
breath hot and frantic against her face. “I never knew my father, you know?
Bastard took off on my mother, left us in some goddamn shithole.” He held her
face in his hands, staring down at her with such intensity Gina started to
tremble. “But I’d never do that to you. I want to take care of you. I want to
take care of—”
    “Stop it, Doug,” Gina said, pushing away. “I don’t need
anyone to take care of me.”
    “Why? You don’t think I could do it?”
    “I don’t mean that.”
    “Then what do you mean? I couldn’t take care of the kid?”
    She waved him off. “This is a ridiculous argument. That’s
not the point.”
    “Then what is?” He came toward her, hands fisted. “What’s so
fucking important you have to kill our kid?”
    Her mouth dropped in outrage. “How dare you.”
    “It’s what you’re gonna do, isn’t it?”
    Gina dropped to the bed, yanking on her boots, near blinded
from welling tears. She turned away, swiping at her eyes. “You don’t
understand. Do you think I want to do this? You think I’m some kind of callous,
unfeeling bitch?”
    He fell to a crouch in front of her, his face filled with
anguish. “Then explain it to me, doll. I’ll listen. I love you, I’d fucking die
for you, so give me one good reason why we can’t do this. If it’s something you
want me to do to make it easier I’ll do it. Just tell me what it is. Please. ”
    “You, you, you! Well, it’s not just about you. I can’t raise a kid now. Why won’t you listen to me?” But she could hardly hear
herself, her head was spinning so. How had she let it get this far out of
control? Gina looked at him, and in that one glance, it nearly killed her. She
had never seen him like this. Her icy-cool detective was teetering on the
brink. To prolong it was monstrous. She climbed from the bed.
    “I have to go,” she said. “We’ll talk about it when I get
back.”
    He looked at her as if she were insane. “Are you joking?”
    “I’m due in D.C. by one.”
    He leapt to his feet, grasping her arm. “Fuck D.C. You’re
not going anywhere until we settle this!”
    “There’s nothing to settle,” she said, twisting her arm
loose, the words flying from her mouth so