Life's a Beach by Claire Cook Page A

mean it’s not possible.”

    When it came to these conversations with my sister, you pretty much had to give her something. “Okay,” I said, “I’ll have kids.”

    Geri’s eyes lit up. “Really?”

    “Sure, if you take care of them for me. I mean, fair’s fair.”

    Geri put her hands on her hips. “As if you could afford my rates.”

    “Okay, listen. For the very last time, not that it’s any of your business, let me say that I absolutely do not want children. Basically, I just want to still
be
one.”

    Geri got up and turned the burner on under the teakettle. “It’s quite possible that you’re beyond help,” she said. She turned around to face me and leaned back against the kitchen counter. “Why exactly would you like to return to your childhood?”

    I’d thought this through before. “So that when Mom sat down beside me like she did a couple of times a week practically from the moment I was born and said, ‘Ginger, never forget, you can be anything you want to be,’ I could turn to her and say, ‘Mom, knock it off. It’s not true. It’s too much choice. It’s too much pressure. And if you don’t stop it right now, you’re going to mess me up for life.’ ”

    “She said the same thing to me and look how I turned out.”

    “Oh, puh-lease.”

    “Well, look at Mom. She’s exactly who she wants to be. And I think she and Dad are happier than they’ve ever been.”

    “Are you crazy? Dad’s flipping out because he doesn’t want to move. He’s hiding stuff in my apartment.”

    Geri shook her head. “That’s just how they do things. Mom gets the big ideas and Dad freaks out, but Mom pulls him along anyway, and when he gets there he acts like it was his idea in the first place.”

    “That’s so twisted.”

    “No wonder you’re single.”

    It was time for a quick subject change followed by an even quicker getaway. I clapped my hands together. “I know. Let’s talk about your birthday.”

    “Really?” Geri made us each a cup of tea without asking me and placed mine on the counter in front of me. She picked up her overstuffed folder and held it to her chest as she sat down at the kitchen island.

    I held out my hand, and she handed over the folder so I could flip through it. “Where do you find all this stuff?” I asked.

    “I don’t know. Magazines. Newspapers. And I go online at work and print things out.”

    I gave her a shocked look. “You? On company time? Aren’t you too perfect for that?”

    “Everybody does it. I mean, we’re a nonprofit.” Geri took a sip of her tea. “Well, do you see anything?”

    I closed the folder. “Boring,” I said. “Why don’t you get a Brazilian bikini wax to celebrate? I saw an ad for a place called Hot Cheeks that just opened in the mall. You could invite all your friends and put aftershave and painkillers in the party bags.”

    “Have you ever had one?”

    “Not that I can remember. But I bet it would hurt enough to make you forget about fifty.”

    “Good point. Okay, I’ll add it to the list.”

    I stood up to leave. I wasn’t planning to say it, but it just slipped out. “So you really don’t think there’s any hope for Noah and me?”

    Geri reached out, and I handed her the folder. “Well, maybe,” she said, “but I think one of you would have to hire a dating coach first.”

    WHEN I FINALLY GOT HOME, my father and my cat were seated on the floor of my apartment. Boyfriend gave me a disdainful look that clearly said,
Don’t look at me, I didn’t let him in.

    “Hiya, Toots,” my father said without looking up.

    I bent down to scratch Boyfriend behind his ears. “Hi, Dad,” I said. “Thanks for stopping by.”

    “Anytime,” my father said. “Champ and I have been having a fine time for ourselves.”

    “Whatcha got there, Dad?” I asked as casually as I could manage.

    My father finally looked up at me. He dropped his voice to a whisper. “Keep it under your hat, but I think we have