red-and-white uniforms ran onto the jousting field, shouting:
“Push DSA back, back, back into the woods,
‘Cause they haven’t, they haven’t, they haven’t got the goods!
And they haven’t got the zazzle and they haven’t got pizzazz,
And they haven’t got the stuff that KNC has!”
The KNC fans jumped up and cheered.
The DSA stands were empty except for Brother Dave, the DSA librarian. He had painted DSA in blue letters on his bald head. He waved a blue DSA flag.
“Goeth, DSA!” he yelled.
Erica, dressed in her armor, clanked out of the tent and over to her teammates.
Wiglaf passed around a flagon of Frypot’s dragonmint eel ade.
Janice parked her gum behind her ear. She put the flagon to her lips, tossed back her head, and took a huge swig.
“Way to go, Janice!” said Angus. He slapped her on the back.
“Blaaaaahhh!” cried Janice as she spewed her mouthful of eel ade all over Wiglaf.
“Oops!” said Angus. “Sorry, Janice.”
“Don’t worry about it,” said Janice, passing the flagon to Erica.
Cold, sticky eel ade ran down Wiglaf’s face. It trickled down his neck. He eyed the stack of towels beside the KNC players’ bench.
“Be right back,” Wiglaf said. He jogged across the field with Dudwin following behind.
The KNC lads sat on their bench, wiping their foreheads with red silk kerchiefs. Servants brought them rose-scented water and bathed their feet. They paid no attention to Wiglaf and Dudwin.
“Who wants to go dragon questing with me tomorrow in the Dark Forest?” Chauncy was saying. “I hear the hermit moved out of Hermit’s Hovel and a dragon with a huge hoard of gold moved in.”
Wiglaf had met a hermit once. His name was Crazy Looey, and the name fit. He wondered if Chauncy was talking about Looey’s hovel.
“I hear it’s a puny dragon,” Chauncy went on. “Easy to slay.”
“That’s the kind I like!” Launcy said.
“I shall stab it with my lance!” said Flauncy.
“I shall slice off its head!” cried Delauncy. “There will be fountains of blood!”
Dudwin listened, fascinated.
But Wiglaf’s stomach lurched. He hated hearing about bloody battles. He couldn’t stand the sight of blood. And yet he was the only DSA student ever to slay a dragon. He had, in fact, killed two. But only by accident. He had done it by finding out the dragons’ secret weaknesses. There had been no blood involved at all.
“Tell me more about this dragon,” Launcy said.
Wiglaf did not want to hear any more about stabbing and jabbing and blood.
“Excuse me,” Wiglaf said to the KNC lads. “May I borrow a towel?”
“A beautiful, clean KNC towel?” said Launcy. “For you ?”
“Not a chance,” said Chauncy. “Anyway, lads, as I was saying, this dragon is small and weak.”
Wiglaf sighed. “Let’s go, Dud.”
“In a minute, Wiggie,” Dudwin whispered.
Wiglaf jogged back to his teammates. But Dudwin stayed near the KNC lads, listening.
The jousting match ended. Wiglaf tallied up the final score:
KNC : 933
DSA : 10
“Art thou all present?” Brother Dave asked from the driver’s seat as the DSA team climbed onto the donkey cart. “Then off we goest!”
He clicked his tongue. Lumpen began plodding back to DSA.
As the cart rolled over the drawbridge, Erica turned to look back at KNC.
“They sure have a beautiful castle.” She sighed. “If DSA had all the fancy things KNC has, think how much we could learn! Maybe we’d even beat them at jousting.”
“KNC lads go dragon hunting way more than we do,” Dudwin said. “I heard them say they’re going to slay a dragon tomorrow!”
“Class I will go a-slaying, Dud,” Erica told him. “Be patient.”
“Ha!” said Dudwin. “The KNC lads shall slay all the dragons. There won’t be any left for us.”
“No danger of that,” said Angus. “Thousands of dragons live in the Dark Forest alone. New ones are hatching every day. Right, Wiggie?”
Wiglaf nodded. He thought back to the time when
“Push DSA back, back, back into the woods,
‘Cause they haven’t, they haven’t, they haven’t got the goods!
And they haven’t got the zazzle and they haven’t got pizzazz,
And they haven’t got the stuff that KNC has!”
The KNC fans jumped up and cheered.
The DSA stands were empty except for Brother Dave, the DSA librarian. He had painted DSA in blue letters on his bald head. He waved a blue DSA flag.
“Goeth, DSA!” he yelled.
Erica, dressed in her armor, clanked out of the tent and over to her teammates.
Wiglaf passed around a flagon of Frypot’s dragonmint eel ade.
Janice parked her gum behind her ear. She put the flagon to her lips, tossed back her head, and took a huge swig.
“Way to go, Janice!” said Angus. He slapped her on the back.
“Blaaaaahhh!” cried Janice as she spewed her mouthful of eel ade all over Wiglaf.
“Oops!” said Angus. “Sorry, Janice.”
“Don’t worry about it,” said Janice, passing the flagon to Erica.
Cold, sticky eel ade ran down Wiglaf’s face. It trickled down his neck. He eyed the stack of towels beside the KNC players’ bench.
“Be right back,” Wiglaf said. He jogged across the field with Dudwin following behind.
The KNC lads sat on their bench, wiping their foreheads with red silk kerchiefs. Servants brought them rose-scented water and bathed their feet. They paid no attention to Wiglaf and Dudwin.
“Who wants to go dragon questing with me tomorrow in the Dark Forest?” Chauncy was saying. “I hear the hermit moved out of Hermit’s Hovel and a dragon with a huge hoard of gold moved in.”
Wiglaf had met a hermit once. His name was Crazy Looey, and the name fit. He wondered if Chauncy was talking about Looey’s hovel.
“I hear it’s a puny dragon,” Chauncy went on. “Easy to slay.”
“That’s the kind I like!” Launcy said.
“I shall stab it with my lance!” said Flauncy.
“I shall slice off its head!” cried Delauncy. “There will be fountains of blood!”
Dudwin listened, fascinated.
But Wiglaf’s stomach lurched. He hated hearing about bloody battles. He couldn’t stand the sight of blood. And yet he was the only DSA student ever to slay a dragon. He had, in fact, killed two. But only by accident. He had done it by finding out the dragons’ secret weaknesses. There had been no blood involved at all.
“Tell me more about this dragon,” Launcy said.
Wiglaf did not want to hear any more about stabbing and jabbing and blood.
“Excuse me,” Wiglaf said to the KNC lads. “May I borrow a towel?”
“A beautiful, clean KNC towel?” said Launcy. “For you ?”
“Not a chance,” said Chauncy. “Anyway, lads, as I was saying, this dragon is small and weak.”
Wiglaf sighed. “Let’s go, Dud.”
“In a minute, Wiggie,” Dudwin whispered.
Wiglaf jogged back to his teammates. But Dudwin stayed near the KNC lads, listening.
The jousting match ended. Wiglaf tallied up the final score:
KNC : 933
DSA : 10
“Art thou all present?” Brother Dave asked from the driver’s seat as the DSA team climbed onto the donkey cart. “Then off we goest!”
He clicked his tongue. Lumpen began plodding back to DSA.
As the cart rolled over the drawbridge, Erica turned to look back at KNC.
“They sure have a beautiful castle.” She sighed. “If DSA had all the fancy things KNC has, think how much we could learn! Maybe we’d even beat them at jousting.”
“KNC lads go dragon hunting way more than we do,” Dudwin said. “I heard them say they’re going to slay a dragon tomorrow!”
“Class I will go a-slaying, Dud,” Erica told him. “Be patient.”
“Ha!” said Dudwin. “The KNC lads shall slay all the dragons. There won’t be any left for us.”
“No danger of that,” said Angus. “Thousands of dragons live in the Dark Forest alone. New ones are hatching every day. Right, Wiggie?”
Wiglaf nodded. He thought back to the time when
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