bruise on my arm.
“Here,” Baby says, putting a black jacket over my shoulders. “It’ll go away soon. You should stay with us. It’s better here.”
I search her face. Does she know what I did last night? Did she see it?
Baby smiles again. Her cheeks are chubby, and there’s a gap between her yellowish front teeth, with bits of potato chips stuck in between. Her eyes are dark brown and wide open, looking up at me like a puppy. “You look so different. Pretty. When I grow up, I’m gonna be pretty like you.”
“You’re already pretty,” I say. Her face lights up. She bounces over to me and throws her arms around my neck.
“How old are you?” I ask.
“Twelve,” she says. She seems younger to me, but I don’t want her to feel bad, so I just smile back.
“Promise you’ll stay,” she whispers, and suddenlyI can feel Grandpa. Like it’s his big arms around me, holding me tight to his chest, making me feel like there was nothing that could hurt us, so long as we were tucked in tight together in our warm, dark cave. I hug Baby back, gathering her as close as I can stand. I don’t want her to be scared.
“I dunno,” I say. “I dunno if I can stay.”
She buries her face into me like she’s known me her whole life. “It’s not so bad here. You got somewhere else to go?”
“No,” I say, tightening my grip on her. I have nowhere else to go.
“Then stay. Please?”
My own mama don’t want me. But here’s this girl. And Devon. They want me. Maybe we could be something. Maybe we can get up outta here, like Devon said. Get a house and giant beds. Get happy.
Maybe I should try.
“For a little while,” I say to her. “Okay?”
Baby hugs me tighter, my long braids trickle down my back. I stand up straight and gather her up.
You see me, Mama? I’m not your kid anymore.
At 9:00 p.m. Kat appears in the doorway in a short, white pleated skirt with black and red plaid, flat black leather boots, and a white shirt that falls from one shoulder. Her braids are pulled back into a high ponytail.
She looks rich. Her shoulders are pulled back proudly, her sharp chin pointed out.
She scans us quickly and turns on her heels. “Let’s go,” she says.
I don’t know where we’re going. I want to ask. I want someone to explain what’s about to happen. I glance at Baby, then at Kat, who looks annoyed. “You good?” she asks.
I swallow and nod.
We descend the stairs with Devon, through the same moist air I remember from the night I came here, when I was half-asleep and hungry, and out into the dark night. Two guys, both in red shirts, open the heavy doors for us. Devon nods at them, Kat flashes a smile. We cross the parking lot, the apartment building behind me like a finger reaching out from the ground. In the distance there’s the roller coaster and Ferris wheel with colorful lights turning slowly in the night like a fake moon.
Who’s up there, on that ride? Can they see me?
Devon’s shiny car. Doors locked. Kat up front, smoking a cigarette. Devon rolls down the window. I grip Baby’s hand. She smiles and chews her gum and hands me a piece. I take it in my fist and stare out the window.
The street is very wide. I search the signs. Surf Avenue. 27th Street. A school, a playground, more tall buildings, taller than Pink Houses, taller than anything in Strawberry Mansion. Tall like the buildings in the city. But the streets are the same kind of quiet as North Philly. Deserted except for the corner stores and the boys who stand outside them, mothers rushing their kids home before it’s too dark. There’s a woman on a corner, shuffling slowly, scratching at her arm. Her body slightly tilted, like she’s being pushed by an invisible hand. She looks like Mom.
Chuck must be outside Boo’s by now. Does he know I’m gone? Has he noticed?
Kat hands me a bottle of orange juice. “Drink,” she says. “You don’t look so good.”
I take a sip. This time I can taste something else. Like
“Here,” Baby says, putting a black jacket over my shoulders. “It’ll go away soon. You should stay with us. It’s better here.”
I search her face. Does she know what I did last night? Did she see it?
Baby smiles again. Her cheeks are chubby, and there’s a gap between her yellowish front teeth, with bits of potato chips stuck in between. Her eyes are dark brown and wide open, looking up at me like a puppy. “You look so different. Pretty. When I grow up, I’m gonna be pretty like you.”
“You’re already pretty,” I say. Her face lights up. She bounces over to me and throws her arms around my neck.
“How old are you?” I ask.
“Twelve,” she says. She seems younger to me, but I don’t want her to feel bad, so I just smile back.
“Promise you’ll stay,” she whispers, and suddenlyI can feel Grandpa. Like it’s his big arms around me, holding me tight to his chest, making me feel like there was nothing that could hurt us, so long as we were tucked in tight together in our warm, dark cave. I hug Baby back, gathering her as close as I can stand. I don’t want her to be scared.
“I dunno,” I say. “I dunno if I can stay.”
She buries her face into me like she’s known me her whole life. “It’s not so bad here. You got somewhere else to go?”
“No,” I say, tightening my grip on her. I have nowhere else to go.
“Then stay. Please?”
My own mama don’t want me. But here’s this girl. And Devon. They want me. Maybe we could be something. Maybe we can get up outta here, like Devon said. Get a house and giant beds. Get happy.
Maybe I should try.
“For a little while,” I say to her. “Okay?”
Baby hugs me tighter, my long braids trickle down my back. I stand up straight and gather her up.
You see me, Mama? I’m not your kid anymore.
At 9:00 p.m. Kat appears in the doorway in a short, white pleated skirt with black and red plaid, flat black leather boots, and a white shirt that falls from one shoulder. Her braids are pulled back into a high ponytail.
She looks rich. Her shoulders are pulled back proudly, her sharp chin pointed out.
She scans us quickly and turns on her heels. “Let’s go,” she says.
I don’t know where we’re going. I want to ask. I want someone to explain what’s about to happen. I glance at Baby, then at Kat, who looks annoyed. “You good?” she asks.
I swallow and nod.
We descend the stairs with Devon, through the same moist air I remember from the night I came here, when I was half-asleep and hungry, and out into the dark night. Two guys, both in red shirts, open the heavy doors for us. Devon nods at them, Kat flashes a smile. We cross the parking lot, the apartment building behind me like a finger reaching out from the ground. In the distance there’s the roller coaster and Ferris wheel with colorful lights turning slowly in the night like a fake moon.
Who’s up there, on that ride? Can they see me?
Devon’s shiny car. Doors locked. Kat up front, smoking a cigarette. Devon rolls down the window. I grip Baby’s hand. She smiles and chews her gum and hands me a piece. I take it in my fist and stare out the window.
The street is very wide. I search the signs. Surf Avenue. 27th Street. A school, a playground, more tall buildings, taller than Pink Houses, taller than anything in Strawberry Mansion. Tall like the buildings in the city. But the streets are the same kind of quiet as North Philly. Deserted except for the corner stores and the boys who stand outside them, mothers rushing their kids home before it’s too dark. There’s a woman on a corner, shuffling slowly, scratching at her arm. Her body slightly tilted, like she’s being pushed by an invisible hand. She looks like Mom.
Chuck must be outside Boo’s by now. Does he know I’m gone? Has he noticed?
Kat hands me a bottle of orange juice. “Drink,” she says. “You don’t look so good.”
I take a sip. This time I can taste something else. Like
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