Looking for JJ by Anne Cassidy Page B

(her favourite was a special model doll called Macy ). It even paid for a holiday in Spain, where her mum had a different bikini for every day of the week. Modelling was busy work, though, and Jennifer couldn’t be part of it. She spent a lot of time with other people. A woman called Simone looked after her sometimes, taking her to school and picking her up at home time. She was a big lady who walked very slowly along the road, pausing at each corner to get her breath. She hardly spoke and Jennifer had to carry on a conversation with herself most of the time. She usually pulled Macy, her model doll, out of her rucksack and chatted to her.
    And what have you been doing today, Macy?
    I had a top model job in the palace today.
    Did you see the queen?
    I did.
    Sometimes her gran looked after her. This was worse than being in Simone’s. Her gran lived in a flat that was two bus rides away. She had a small dog called Nelson who would sit on her knee growling at Jennifer. She had to be very quiet there because Gran had sewing to do and liked to watch television while she was working.
    Occasionally Jennifer stayed in the classroom with the teacher. She sat at her desk while Miss marked lots of books. She drew some pictures and kept one eye on the playground. Eventually she’d see her mum dashing through the school gate, half running, half walking towards the classroom, coming through the door out of breath and apologizing.
    Now and then, when her mum wasn’t working, she would pick her up from school on time. It delighted Jennifer to see her standing waiting, head and shoulders above the rest of the mums. Her fair hair was streaked with blonde and sometimes she wore it hanging loosely round her face. She’d be in the middle of all the grey-faced women, talking animatedly, her mouth opening and closing. In the summer she wore as little as possible: a strappy top that showed her tattoo, shorts that exposed her long brown legs and round her ankle a tiny chain. When she saw Jennifer coming across the playground her face beamed. She might have been standing in front of an important photographer.
    Everyone who saw them together was impressed. When Carol Jones squatted down to hug her daughter the other mums seemed to watch with envy. Jennifer reached up to hold her mum’s hand as they walked home from school and knew that people were looking. Men stared at her. Women gave her sideways glances. She knew that she must be with someone who was important. All the while her mum pulled her by the hand and walked on, her head in the air, her body swaying slightly as though she was practising for the catwalk, her spindly heels scraping along the ground.
    There were bad days as well. Sometimes there were headaches and her mum had to lie in the dark. Sometimes she felt sick or had a pain and had to be left alone. Often her mum was in a mood; a minicab hadn’t arrived on time or her photographs weren’t right.
    Jennifer picked Macy up at these times and went into her room.
    What job are you on today, Macy?
    I’m doing a fashion show. On a catwalk.
    Wonderful.
    Macy had a whole box of clothes, different outfits for the seasons, for casual or evening, for work or play. One of Jennifer’s favourites was her ski suit. It was all in one, a shocking-pink colour, and she had matching skis and tiny dark glasses.
    After what seemed like hours and hours of playing on her own she would tiptoe into her mum’s room, get on to the bed and lie beside her. If her mum was feeling better she turned and gave Jennifer a sleepy hug. If she wasn’t she just lay still, hardly breathing. So Jennifer left her alone all through the rest of the day and sometimes even the nighttime. She’d reappear the next morning while Jennifer and Macy were having breakfast together.
    “What’s the time?” she’d say, yawning, bending over to give Jennifer a kiss. “I must have slept for hours! Thanks for not waking Mummy up, love. It’s too late for school now, you’ll