It's not the first time I've had to quash a friendship because of who I am, but it is the first time it made me feel so horrible.
"Well, here's the problem, Fee—"
Oh, God, that nickname makes my stomach do all sorts of things it shouldn't.
"—I've been attached to you since we were practically babies, so it's a little late for that."
He starts pushing the bike before I can say anything, so I just follow behind him in silence until we get to a sort of clearing. It's not really a clearing, because the grass is waist-high, but it's definitely been cleared of trees. On the far end is a small building. It's got a door and a window and a roof that looks like it might blow away or cave in, but it's a building.
I can hear the sound of running water not too far away and he follows my gaze into the woods and answers my unspoken question.
"Little creek down that way."
He leads the way over to the shack and parks the bike and then fights with the door until it pushes open and he disappears inside.
And comes back out laughing.
"There's absolutely no way you're going in there. It's been a while since I've been out here, sorry. I'll take you home whenever you want, I just thought you might like a little space."
My legs sink down into the tall grass until I'm on my knees and then I lie back, not even caring that bugs might crawl up into my hair or anything. Brody comes over and lies down next to me.
"Thank you," I say sincerely, looking sideways at him.
His hands are clasped behind his head and he's just gazing up into the bright blue sky. "It's a nice day, huh?"
"Yeah," I reply with a small laugh. "This is definitely one for the books."
And then we're silent. And we lie still for so long my eyes close. And the sun is beating down on my body, a body that has been on red alert for more than eight weeks, warming me up, and I can feel Brody's body next to mine. His heat warms me up and makes me feel… OK.
I relax.
That's all it takes. Just a little bit of summer sun, a bed of soft green grass, and my life on pause with a boy named Brody.
I am out.
Chapter Twelve - Brody
I don't know how someone with her life at the moment could possibly fall asleep out in the woods with a guy who is, for all practical purposes, a complete stranger. But she's breathing deep and even with sleep and we've only been lying here for about ten minutes.
I turn to the side a little and watch her. She's still got her hands resting lightly on her stomach, and her legs are crossed at the ankles, but then she turns towards me and her arm falls over my stomach.
And that's it. I'm in. I slip my arm under her shoulders and pull her into my chest until her cheek rests in the crook of my arm and I enjoy her. Maybe she'll be gone in a few hours. Maybe she'll have to go back to the Sullivans' house, or maybe someone will come take her away. The person she really belongs to will surely want her back. How could they not want her back? She sure doesn't sound like she's happy to be here.
It doesn't matter, though. I'm in. Even if it's only for five more minutes, five minutes with my Fee is better than nothing. It's a dream fulfilled compared to where I was a few days ago, which was pretty much looking forward to nothing but working on my Jeep and playing father to Case and Parker while Renn does his whole ambition thing down in Georgia.
Because life since Fiona disappeared has been one long fuck-up after another. I don't really blame Frank and Sean for not liking us. I haven't exactly been the model young adult. Even after my vow to be good after the parents died, I had some slips. Arrested twice for fighting, once for underage drinking, and once for possession of pot. But that was as a juvie, so it barely counts.
I laugh at that. It counts, but it's forgiven. Tucked away as just another tragic childhood mistake by Brody Mason—that poor kid who lost his parents and his neighbor and never got over either one.
Everyone knows it, it's no secret how I felt
"Well, here's the problem, Fee—"
Oh, God, that nickname makes my stomach do all sorts of things it shouldn't.
"—I've been attached to you since we were practically babies, so it's a little late for that."
He starts pushing the bike before I can say anything, so I just follow behind him in silence until we get to a sort of clearing. It's not really a clearing, because the grass is waist-high, but it's definitely been cleared of trees. On the far end is a small building. It's got a door and a window and a roof that looks like it might blow away or cave in, but it's a building.
I can hear the sound of running water not too far away and he follows my gaze into the woods and answers my unspoken question.
"Little creek down that way."
He leads the way over to the shack and parks the bike and then fights with the door until it pushes open and he disappears inside.
And comes back out laughing.
"There's absolutely no way you're going in there. It's been a while since I've been out here, sorry. I'll take you home whenever you want, I just thought you might like a little space."
My legs sink down into the tall grass until I'm on my knees and then I lie back, not even caring that bugs might crawl up into my hair or anything. Brody comes over and lies down next to me.
"Thank you," I say sincerely, looking sideways at him.
His hands are clasped behind his head and he's just gazing up into the bright blue sky. "It's a nice day, huh?"
"Yeah," I reply with a small laugh. "This is definitely one for the books."
And then we're silent. And we lie still for so long my eyes close. And the sun is beating down on my body, a body that has been on red alert for more than eight weeks, warming me up, and I can feel Brody's body next to mine. His heat warms me up and makes me feel… OK.
I relax.
That's all it takes. Just a little bit of summer sun, a bed of soft green grass, and my life on pause with a boy named Brody.
I am out.
Chapter Twelve - Brody
I don't know how someone with her life at the moment could possibly fall asleep out in the woods with a guy who is, for all practical purposes, a complete stranger. But she's breathing deep and even with sleep and we've only been lying here for about ten minutes.
I turn to the side a little and watch her. She's still got her hands resting lightly on her stomach, and her legs are crossed at the ankles, but then she turns towards me and her arm falls over my stomach.
And that's it. I'm in. I slip my arm under her shoulders and pull her into my chest until her cheek rests in the crook of my arm and I enjoy her. Maybe she'll be gone in a few hours. Maybe she'll have to go back to the Sullivans' house, or maybe someone will come take her away. The person she really belongs to will surely want her back. How could they not want her back? She sure doesn't sound like she's happy to be here.
It doesn't matter, though. I'm in. Even if it's only for five more minutes, five minutes with my Fee is better than nothing. It's a dream fulfilled compared to where I was a few days ago, which was pretty much looking forward to nothing but working on my Jeep and playing father to Case and Parker while Renn does his whole ambition thing down in Georgia.
Because life since Fiona disappeared has been one long fuck-up after another. I don't really blame Frank and Sean for not liking us. I haven't exactly been the model young adult. Even after my vow to be good after the parents died, I had some slips. Arrested twice for fighting, once for underage drinking, and once for possession of pot. But that was as a juvie, so it barely counts.
I laugh at that. It counts, but it's forgiven. Tucked away as just another tragic childhood mistake by Brody Mason—that poor kid who lost his parents and his neighbor and never got over either one.
Everyone knows it, it's no secret how I felt
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