Losing Lila

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Authors: Sarah Alderson
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myself.
    ‘I think she’s still in the van,’ Suki said, her eyes narrowing at me as she read my mind. ‘She’s not very compliant with our wishes. Every time we take the gag off she starts screaming about how her father’s going to kill us when he finds us.’
    ‘But not before he rips open our brains and finds out what makes us so freaking special,’ Nate butted in.
    ‘Nate!’ Suki shouted, glaring at him. ‘Lila doesn’t need to hear this.’
    ‘Whoops, sorry,’ he said, biting his lip.
    I shrugged it off as best I could and glanced through the open door to where I could see Alex. He was sitting on a sunbed, locked in conversation with Demos, but he sensed me looking and glanced over. He said something quickly to Demos then stood up and strolled towards us, hesitating at the door until Suki waved him in. He crossed to where I was sitting on the bed and dropped to a crouch by my side. Suki and Nate fell silent. I could have sworn I heard one of them sigh.
    ‘Nate, hi, nice to meet you properly,’ Alex said, extending his hand. Nate blushed to the roots of his hair and I tried to suppress a laugh.
    ‘Hi,’ Suki answered for him, in her tinkling sing-song voice, ‘it’s nice to meet you too – properly, I mean. Nate’s already met you, so to speak. He follows you a lot.’
    Nate blushed even harder, glaring at Suki. Alex laughed it off, shooting me a puzzled look. I shrugged. It was better all round not to go there.
    ‘Are you sure you want to do this?’ Alex asked me, his face suddenly turning serious.
    ‘Are you kidding?’ I answered, standing up.
    ‘Only the last time you saw Rachel you wanted to kill her,’ he said, looking at me doubtfully.
    ‘Yep, I still want to kill her,’ I said, ‘but not before she tells us everything we need to know.’
    He looked even more worried. I shrugged. What did he expect? That suddenly I’d feel like sharing milk and cookies with the woman? This was the person who was behind the Unit, behind my mother’s imprisonment and probable torture. Yes, I wanted to kill her.
    Alex considered me for a minute, probably trying to work out whether or not he could trust me to control myself. I was still trying to work the same thing out, but I wasn’t about to tell him that and I hoped Suki wouldn’t either.
    ‘OK, let’s do this,’ he finally said, clearly having decided that he could trust me. ‘She’s next door, in Demos’s room.’
    Rachel sat on the edge of the bed, her ankles and hands bound together and a gag in her mouth. She was wearing a pair of ugly grey sweatpants, cheap white sneakers and a T-shirt three sizes too large, with the slogan ‘Tijuana makes me HAPPY’ stamped on the front in big red letters. The whole picture combined to make me very happy.
    Rachel’s eyes were vacant, her face blank. She looked like a recently salvaged thrift store mannequin, one where the sheen had worn off the plastic limbs and the wig had taken on a life of its own.
    ‘OK, go ahead and unfreeze her, Demos,’ Alex said, and it was only then that I noticed Demos looming over her, giving her one of his you will do exactly as I say stares.
    Demos stepped aside and Rachel suddenly blinked into consciousness. A sneer instantly replaced the vacuous, glazed expression. Her eyes widened immediately at the sight of me and Alex standing in front of her.
    My gut tightened, my jaw tensing so hard that my teeth ground against each other audibly. Both Demos and Alex turned and shot me warning looks. OK, OK , I whispered silently to myself. Control. I’ve got it under control. I can do this. I will not kill her. I will not kill her. At least not quite yet.
    Suki was focusing hard on Rachel, her brow furrowed with concentration. I wondered if Rachel was busy singing nursery rhymes in her head, but she seemed too distracted by the sight of me and Alex in the room and her eyes were darting all over the place as she struggled to get her bearings. I noticed her gaze fly to Alex’s

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