a small stash. Most of the information was conservative, choosing the
option of fore-warning over the measured risk of experiment that I was seeking.
The user forums were a bit more encouraging. Eventually, it turned out to be an
ordinary night, simply falling asleep with the one medication that Dr. Tho had
prescribed.
When I woke up, the spread of steel across
my skull had shrunk; I simply felt a metal pellet of freeze at the base of my
neck. By the time I was riding the trains, the pain returned in identical fury
from the previous day. The pain, it diverted my mind, bringing back the horror
of my failing health, making me take a detour from my way to office back into
Dr. Tho’s clinic.
“Doctor, I have the same searing pains,
what could it be?” I was close to a lament, a bit panicked, and convinced that
I was sick and withering.
He pushed the films and papers away, simply
folding his arms “You are fine, you need to work out what is bothering you and
then calm down. I can refer you to a psychiatrist if you like, sometimes
therapy can be very effective in such conditions,” he was clearly unimpressed
by my symptoms.
“Psychiatrist?” I was a bit taken aback.
“Look, if you are in a situation where you
need to find a care group, just to speak to people about things, I don’t know
what it is, but you need to take it out of your system, otherwise there is no
medical route except psychiatric intervention,” he said calmly, spending the
time for me to understand that I was going mad.
At the office, on the internet, I searched
for groups who helped others with similar problems. In my case, I found no
forums for suffering parents of lost kids in Singapore, but when I dug enough I
found Rashmi, a single lady who was registered on an internet forum for parents
who had lost their child, a girl child. I was drawn to her since she was based
in Singapore. I wrote in, asking for a time to meet and hoping she would reply.
“So, what have you decided?” Georgy, he was
on my back, clinging like a diseased monkey.
“Come, let us grab a room,” just his sight
brought the skull crushing ache back into the afternoon.
“I have taken time from BMI tomorrow; if
you are agreeable we can head up to their office and then close the audit out.
We can also discuss the next phase of our contract renewal with them. Come, let
us leave things behind us,” he said, clearly hoping that the steady ticking
bomb of our interpersonal calamity would defuse.
“Did you return Fang Wei’s call yesterday?”
I simply asked, poker faced, ignoring the aches, as I faced my issues.
He was clearly caught off guard; I could
see the sudden-nervous twirling of the pen he had at hand.
“What do you mean?” he began, buying time
to construct mentally where he may head in this conversation.
Fundamentally, he remained dull.
“I mean, are you in touch with Fang Wei? I
saw her call on your phone yesterday,” I repeated myself.
“Look, let us talk about work first, OK?”
Yes, he was in touch with her; it was apparent by the way he shifted into a
crooked posture into his chair, and the way he did not want to talk about it.
“Work is simple, I don’t support the
passing of audit that you are proposing,” it was an impulsive outburst, with
images of Fang Wei weeping on Georgy’s shoulder fuelling the anger that melded
in the ache that my head regressed further into.
“If that is your choice, then we will have
to let you go,” his eyes hardened, like when tying oneself to a resolve of
decisive, yet unpalatable action. He placed a large envelope on the table,
“This has the terms of separation that we propose, and a cheque of severance
that accounts for your years of service, unutilised leave etc. Really sorry it
has to be this way,” he made good on the threats that he had delivered on the
previous day. “It does not have to be this way, but it is your decision. If you
do not uphold and support the larger cause of our long term business,
option of fore-warning over the measured risk of experiment that I was seeking.
The user forums were a bit more encouraging. Eventually, it turned out to be an
ordinary night, simply falling asleep with the one medication that Dr. Tho had
prescribed.
When I woke up, the spread of steel across
my skull had shrunk; I simply felt a metal pellet of freeze at the base of my
neck. By the time I was riding the trains, the pain returned in identical fury
from the previous day. The pain, it diverted my mind, bringing back the horror
of my failing health, making me take a detour from my way to office back into
Dr. Tho’s clinic.
“Doctor, I have the same searing pains,
what could it be?” I was close to a lament, a bit panicked, and convinced that
I was sick and withering.
He pushed the films and papers away, simply
folding his arms “You are fine, you need to work out what is bothering you and
then calm down. I can refer you to a psychiatrist if you like, sometimes
therapy can be very effective in such conditions,” he was clearly unimpressed
by my symptoms.
“Psychiatrist?” I was a bit taken aback.
“Look, if you are in a situation where you
need to find a care group, just to speak to people about things, I don’t know
what it is, but you need to take it out of your system, otherwise there is no
medical route except psychiatric intervention,” he said calmly, spending the
time for me to understand that I was going mad.
At the office, on the internet, I searched
for groups who helped others with similar problems. In my case, I found no
forums for suffering parents of lost kids in Singapore, but when I dug enough I
found Rashmi, a single lady who was registered on an internet forum for parents
who had lost their child, a girl child. I was drawn to her since she was based
in Singapore. I wrote in, asking for a time to meet and hoping she would reply.
“So, what have you decided?” Georgy, he was
on my back, clinging like a diseased monkey.
“Come, let us grab a room,” just his sight
brought the skull crushing ache back into the afternoon.
“I have taken time from BMI tomorrow; if
you are agreeable we can head up to their office and then close the audit out.
We can also discuss the next phase of our contract renewal with them. Come, let
us leave things behind us,” he said, clearly hoping that the steady ticking
bomb of our interpersonal calamity would defuse.
“Did you return Fang Wei’s call yesterday?”
I simply asked, poker faced, ignoring the aches, as I faced my issues.
He was clearly caught off guard; I could
see the sudden-nervous twirling of the pen he had at hand.
“What do you mean?” he began, buying time
to construct mentally where he may head in this conversation.
Fundamentally, he remained dull.
“I mean, are you in touch with Fang Wei? I
saw her call on your phone yesterday,” I repeated myself.
“Look, let us talk about work first, OK?”
Yes, he was in touch with her; it was apparent by the way he shifted into a
crooked posture into his chair, and the way he did not want to talk about it.
“Work is simple, I don’t support the
passing of audit that you are proposing,” it was an impulsive outburst, with
images of Fang Wei weeping on Georgy’s shoulder fuelling the anger that melded
in the ache that my head regressed further into.
“If that is your choice, then we will have
to let you go,” his eyes hardened, like when tying oneself to a resolve of
decisive, yet unpalatable action. He placed a large envelope on the table,
“This has the terms of separation that we propose, and a cheque of severance
that accounts for your years of service, unutilised leave etc. Really sorry it
has to be this way,” he made good on the threats that he had delivered on the
previous day. “It does not have to be this way, but it is your decision. If you
do not uphold and support the larger cause of our long term business,
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